Princess Charlene and one of the Twins

Aw, so sweet. Snuggle that twin, Charlene. (Our photo agency here is calling them The Monaco Twins, which I enjoy.)

Charlene and Albert and The Twins

I of course chose this shot because it looked like little Jacques was jauntily waving at the crowd, like his future ARCH RIVAL PRINCE GEORGE before him. (I decided George and Jacques will be competing for the hearts of the same fair maidens at some point, before George marries some spunky and unexpected girl and Jacques runs off with an older and highly inappropriate tennis pro.)

Charlene and Albert

Charlene OF COURSE is in neutrals. That said, that coat is gorgeous and her boots are foxy, and I like her bangs. MAKE 2015 THE YEAR OF CHARLENE, GIRL.

Princess Stephanie

As someone whose roots are currently terrible, I applaud Stephanie for not having hers touched up for this event. Every time I see her, she looks like she's dying for a cigarette.

Pierre Casiraghi

That's a VERY nice suit. This, like so many shots of royal dudes in suits looking thoughtful, looks like the cover of an unauthorized biography. Pierre: Playboy Prince, or something.

Princess Caroline

I roundly applaud Caroline's leopard-print coat.

Princess Stephanie of Monaco and Charlotte Casiragh

And Charlotte, as always, looks chic as hell.

Felipe and Letizia

Over to Spain, for the New Year's Military Parade, where these two looked quite dishy indeed.

Felipe and Letizia

Never shave, Felipe.

Queen Letizia

And I love this red dress Letizia wore, just before Christmas.

King Felipe

Felipe looks so sad and lonely with that giant empty coach next to him, during his Christmas address. I wish they'd let Letizia plop down there next to him, in her jammies, eating popcorn. "You tell 'em," she'd say. "That's a GREAT point." Just as moral support!

Queen Letizia

Someone got a new blazer for Christmas!!!

The Royal Family of the Netherlands

I confess that I picked this from all their official Christmas photos because it looks like Maxima is, like a Von Trapp Family Singer, just popping out to say cuckoo.

Zara Phillips

Zara Phillips. WHAT IS ON YOUR HEAD?

Sophie Wessex

I LOVE the coat that Sophie wore to church over the break, but this hat looks like a fowl literally nested on her head.

Sophie Wessex

She's at the horse races here, so the tweediness feels apropos, no? I got a tweed jacket from J Crew recently, and whenever I wear it with my riding boots, I feel as if I should be whacking someone -- er, someTHING -- with a crop. Tweed is very satisfying.

Prince Harry

Obviously Harry went to a darts competition.

Prince Harry

But he also put on a suit and went to sign the book of condolence at the French embassy for the victims of the horrible attack on Charlie Hebdo offices.

Princess Marie of Denmark and Prince Joachim of Denmark

The Danes had a "New Years Levee and Banquet at Christian VII's Palace," so that sounds like it was fancy. Prince Joachim is the Harry to Crown Prince Frederik's Wills. (In birth order, not in behavior. AS FAR AS I KNOW. Although technically, William and Frederik are not equivalent. So I guess it's more accurate to say that Joachim is the Prince Andrew to Fred's Prince Charles, although only in birth order, NOT in behaviour. AS FAR AS I KNOW. ) Princess Marie is his second wife and Wikipedia has only told me that she's interested in boxing. BORING. What good is Wikipedia for Royals Coverage if it doesn't pull you aside and whisper, "also, she had a secret affair with a drug dealer!!!!"

CPM and CPF

These two look as dishy and dashing as usual.

Prince Henrik of Denmark and Queen Margrethe

And for those of you who asked last time for more coverage of Queen Margrethe, we put that out in the universe and the universe answered. That's A LOT of bling. Happy New Year INDEED. Wiki tells me that Prince Henrik -- and this IS dishy -- once FLED DENMARK IN A HUFF after one of these very New Year's events, because...well, let me quote for you: "Crown Prince Frederik was appointed host in the absence of Queen Margrethe, [and] Henrik felt 'pushed aside, degraded and humiliated' at the fact that he was relegated to 'third place in the royal hierarchy.' 'For many years I have been Denmark's number two,' he said. 'I've been satisfied with that role, but I don't want to be relegated to number three after so many years.'"

WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU HAD CHILDREN, DUDE? Anyway, also per Wiki, then "Henrik 'fled' Denmark to reflect on his status in the Danish Royal Family. Queen Margrethe flew to France to meet with her husband. Henrik stressed that neither his wife nor son were to blame for the incident. The Prince Consort spent three weeks in Caix, and did not appear with his wife as expected at the wedding of Willem-Alexander, Prince of Orange, and Máxima Zorreguieta." !!!!!!!! I cannot believe he ditched Maxima like that! Anyway, carrying on:

"After three weeks, Henrik returned to Denmark and resumed his royal duties."

DRAMZ. THIS is what I expect from my Wikipedia Wormholes, thank you very much.

Crown Princess Masako and Crown Prince Naruhito

We also got to eyeball the Japanese Crown Prince and Princess -- Crown Princess Masako must be feeling emotionally much better, since she often doesn't come to these things. Also: this series of photos is very telling as to how the Japanese royal women have been instructed to hold their gloves.

Princess Tsuguko, Princess Hisako of Takamado and Princess Hanako of Hitachi

Right? Everyone looks very polished for this event. In fact, Wiki tells me that Princess Tsuguko was #15 on a Forbes list of 20 Hottest Royals in 2008, a fact I'm sure she trots out at cocktail parties all the time.

Princess Kako of Akishino, Prince Mikasa and Princess Tomohito

Princess Kako is only 20, and she looks so sweet here. She apparently was a figure skater for a while and is now flarging about doing nothing of any interest. (Not really. Wikipedia just didn't say what she was up to. Probably she's just reading a book and minding her own business right now. She dropped out of college and is supposed to re-matriculate this spring, so she's probably thinking that she wishes she didn't have to re-matriculate this spring.)

Japan's Princess Kako,

Or thinking about her tiara, and how pretty is it, as apparently it was a traditional birthday gift. This was her birthday (I believe) meeting with her grandparents, the Emperor and Empress. That article notes that she also gave a presser on her birthday and told the assembled, "I should fulfill my duties and put value in every work I receive rather than focus on whether I am interested in it." So...that sounds fun? Happy birthday?

Royals Round-Up, January 9th, 2015

The first Royals Round-Up of the new year! I hope I didn't miss anything that happened over the last couple of weeks. I've got babies for you! (I mean, to look at. You don't need to take them home or anything.) Harry in a tee shirt! A visit from a variety of Japanese princesses! Tiaras! Speaking of the last few weeks, we did have some royals coverage over the break: Coverage of the British RF's Christmas Walk to Church -- AKA The Annual Holding of the Hands - is here. And we did a ton of year-end wrap-ups, which you may have missed. To wit: The Year in Kate and Wills and Harry and George. Cheeks! Polo pants! Canoodling! The Year in The Other British Royals. The Year in Royals Who Aren’t British At All. And elsewhere around the Internet, we have A LOT TO DISCUSS: Today is Kate's birthday! Happy birthday, Kate. I hope William brought home a giant box that was just FULL of blue and white striped tops. Like, thirty-seven blue and white tops. People says she and Wills are celebrating with hookers and blow -- whoops, I read that wrong. People says she's having a low-key celebration at home. (She's got like six outings on the docket for the next week or so, so get ready, everyone.) Vogue UK has a GINORMOUS look at Kate's fashion in honor of her birthday. (Literally, it starts when she's a toddler.) The CBC looks at all of this drama currently surrounding Prince Andrew, who I have to think is five minutes away from getting locked in the Tower. (I read elsewhere that The Queen is not worked up about this, but...I feel like at the very least, girlfriend has to be irked.) Maclean's also has an excellent and exhaustive look at the escandelo. I sympathize with Fergie, but maybe announcing that he is "the greatest man in the world!" is kind of hyperbolic at the moment. Pippa's penned her last column for Vanity Fair, about the world's best ski resorts. I feel for Pippa. She probably should move to New York (as Us Weekly told me she might. They ALSO think she and Nico "Bounder" Jackson are on the super-outs.) Maybe she could go work for GOOP! Seriously. I actually think Pippa's columns are somewhat GOOP-ian and it might be a good fit. YOU'RE WELCOME, PIPS. Edward and Sophie announced their engagement sixteen years ago this week; the HRH Sophie Wessex blog takes a look back. Sophie is also in this month's Harper's Bazaar. She looks fabulous, honestly. Her birthday is ALSO coming up; happy b-day, Soph. The Court Jeweller does an amazing Tiara Timeline for the rubies that Crown Princess Mary is wearing in the slideshow. Over the holidays, The Telegraph ran a story with the following intro: As the Infanta Cristina of Spain faces trial for alleged tax fraud, we round up some of the Continent's other raucous royals. LET'S! (Ignore the fact that, for the purposes of the piece, they're considering Maxima and Letizia princesses.) The Express thinks Wills and Kate's new place has a ghost (and that they're like, "meh, every old house in England has a ghost"). I LOVE Stories About Old Homes in The UK That Have Interesting Ghosts. People has a very interesting piece about the various relationships between Royal Siblings, a subject of MUCH interest to me. Speaking of siblings, Hello! has coverage of the Presentation of the Twins of Monaco. I feel like if I were Princess Gabriella, I wouldn't be so thrilled that my younger brother got to be head cheese, just because he's a dude. BOO PRIMOGENITURE. ALSO speaking of siblings, I enjoyed this bit over at the Telegraph about Wills and Harry "sneaking" in and out of Cirencester Park Polo Club to whack at balls. No shocker, Harry is described as "someone who gets in there and gets his hands dirty."