Prince Harry and a goat

"Hey! YOU HAVE A GOAT."

Prince Harry and a goat

"Hello horny friend. Would you like to come home and live with me? When Kate takes George for a walk in the park I CAN BRING MY GOAT this is a wonderful idea."

Prince Harry and a goat

"But you have to promise you will NOT eat my blue suit. William will fly into a rage if any blue suit in the Commonwealth comes to harm. He's VERY sensitive about them. It's this whole thing."

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark and Princess Josephine of Denmark

All right, so here's the thing about Crown Princess Mary. For some reason, most photos of her are not made legally available to us FOR AGES, I don't know why -- perhaps Denmark is just very protective of her image. But we've got a bunch of them now and all of them are great. Here, she totally looks like she's walking into a Bertoli olive oil ad. (That's a compliment.)

HRH Crown Princess Mary and HRH Crown Prince Frederik

This dress is MAJOR -- it's Dolce & Gabanna -- and it's so busy that I don't even mind the shoes. In fact, I think she is really working it. Additionally, I decided that Michael Sheen will play him in the Movie About Their Love.

Crown Princess Mary and Crown Prince Frederik

This is "Count Ditlev Knuth-Winterfeldt's 70th birthday celebration at the Rosendal Manor, Faxe Parish" at the end of last month. I have thoughts.

a) Is that tux blue? KATE, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, DO NOT LET WILLIAM KNOW THIS IS AN OPTION.

b) I am not madly in love with that dress. It feels a bit droopy?

c) She is VERY chic, regardless, I think.

d) The fact that a person named "Ditlev Knuth-Winterfeldt" does not have a Wikipedia entry makes me fear we have failed as a society.

HRH Crown Princess Mary and HRH Crown Prince Frederik and kids

I linked to this last week, but now I too can use the photos. This dress is freaking great, and also I am endless amused that the crane in the background appears to be airlifting Frederik out of the picture.

Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia of Spain

Over to the future King and Queen of Spain. I know some people are all about Letizia -- and the heart wants what it wants! I don't judge your royal leanings! -- but I find her VERY beige, and I mean that in the literal sense that she wears too much of it.

Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia

See what I mean?

Princess Letizia of Spain

Do we think these are separates, or a dress?

Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia

"No, seriously, Felipe. I told you. We got together at the Princess Meeting and decided EVERYONE was wearing white lace this summer. You never listen to me when I tell you things."

Prince Felipe of Spain and Princess Letizia of Spain

This is certainly very elegant, but for my taste it feel a little like No There There, you know? Frankly, I blame the shoes. I will be VERY interested to see how she deals with being Queen, considering that last summer she was allegedly Over being a Princess. On the other hand, maybe she was just Over what a rascal her father-in-law seems to be and will be happier now that Felipe -- who seems lovely, but I'm not as up on the Spanish Royals Gossip -- is head honcho.

Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia

Here -- at the State Dinner for the Mexican President -- at least we get some bling! This dress reminds me of the modest version of the one we saw on Adelaide Kane earlier today.

Princess Letizia

Facially, I think she looks quite beautiful here, and that tiara really suits her. For more info, as often, I direct you to The Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor who also have a snap of the GIANT tiara Queen Sofia brought out as her last hurrah. This one can also be a necklace/brooch. I enjoy how basically all tiaras are Transformers.

Queen Maxima

This is the wedding of Juan Zorreguieta and Andrea Wolf in Vienna, Austria -- Juan Zorreguieta is Maxima's brother. Maxima is the polar opposite of Letizia. THIS IS MAJOR. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS MAJOR. THERE IS A CAPE. MAXIMA I LOVE YOU. (I learned this week that Maxima and I share a birthday [she's older than I am, but it's the same day] and now I feel doubly bonded.)

Princess Leonore's Royal Christening in Sweden

Princess Leonore was christened in Sweden; here's the entire crew of godparents, many of whom do not even have Wikipedia pages, which ought to be illegal. How else am I do know if one of them once secretly converted, caused an international incident, was exiled from Spain, and then wrote a book about conversing with trees? All I know is that there are HATS here, and also little Princess Estelle TOTALLY DOESN'T CARE.

The Court Jeweller has a very sweet picture from the ceremony itself, if you are interested, and I've linked to more coverage in the body of this post.

Camilla and Angelina Jolie and a harp

Per Getty, "Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall meets Angelina Jolie as the actress talked about her campaign against sexual violence in warzones during a private meeting at Clarence House. " Well, that's pretty unimpeachable. I do feel like Angelina is thinking, "I hope someone comes in here and subtly plays that harp in the background while we talk."

I MAY HAVE looked at this photo full-size to see the pictures on the piano, also, because I'm a creepy weirdo. I think they have Wills and Kate's wedding photo up there. I just hope Angelina picked them all up and asked all kinds of nosy questions. You WOULD answer her. I feel like I would tell Angelina whatever she wanted to know.

Queen Elizabeth Is Honored At Elysee Palace

In the interest of closing out QE2's trip to Paris last week: she wore a tiara to a state dinner, and a brooch, and a necklace, and earrings, because when in Paris, bring the bling. This is her fave tiara, so we've seen it a lot, but she doesn't wear this brooch very often. Per From Her Majesty's Jewel Vault, it was her mother's.

Queen Elizabeth Visits A Flower Market Renamed In Her Honor

The French -- who apparently LOVE Her Majesty, which is very friendly of them -- even named their flower market after her. THERE'S PROOF and everything.

Queen Elizabeth Visits A Flower Market Renamed In Her Honor

"We've been looking for one of these potted do-dads. Can you pack that up and send it home with Phil? Thankee."

Queen Elizabeth II

Here, she looks so delighted because she made it home from France in time for the Epsom Derby. The Queen does love the ponies! (Which reminds me: Ascot is next week, so dig your giant hat out of cold storage and get ready.)

Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew is basically showing the Queen how Skype works here. Can I admit that sometimes I forget Andrew even exists? Remarry Fergie and get your face back out there, Andy. Do it for the gossip!

Prince William

Per Getty: "Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, in his role as Colonel of the Irish Guards, attends the Household Division's Beating Retreat on Horse Guards Parade." This event appeared to involve dramatic reenactments AND fireworks AND bagpipes, as should everything, frankly, and all I know is, I enjoy this uniform quite a lot and if I were Kate, I'd make him wear it at home.

Wills and Becks

"I gave him my heart. He gave me a pen."

Princess Eugenie and boyfriend Jack Brooksbank

We saw Yooj wearing this dress at the garden party, but she put on saucier shoes to go out to a Justin Timberlake performance with the boyfriend. (Let's give Bea and Eugenie's bfs as much damn scrutiny as Kate and Cressida got.) They've been together nearly four year WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED WHEN WHEN. (I don't really care; I'm just being obnoxious. Daily Mail I Know is obsessed with the idea that he looks like her father. I feel that is true only in the sense that they're both HUMAN MALES.)

Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank

These two are getting photographed way more than previously, though. I'm always interested in how much of that is intentional, and I think it's more than you'd guess, especially when they're not just leaving some random bar, and I can't decide if I think it's because they're trying to up their profile generally or they're just sliding him into public view in preparation for an engagement or some such. That being said, that red lipstick really suits her, and I love the pop of green. Eugenie AND Beatrice have been dressing better lately, I think.

Charles, Princess Alexandra, Nurses

Chaz is the President of the British Red Cross, for which this party was thrown, and yes, all these nurses are in WWI uniform. The party was, as far as I understand it, to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the British Red Cross, but I presume the nursing outfits from 150 years ago were just TOO unwieldy.

Anyhoodley, Princess Alexandra there is NOT some sibling of Charles that he's kept in the attic lo these many years, she's QE2's cousin (George V's granddaughter; apparently, when she was born she was 6th in line to the throne, but now she's 45th). She was in the Queen and Phil's wedding (she is also HIS cousin, but more distantly; you know how it goes), and her wedding was watched by loads of people on TV back in the day and you probably want to see her dress. (You definitely want to watch the news footage. Many of the hats are HIDEOUS -- Princess Margaret has an entire floral arrangement on her head -- and I swear to you the officiant is the same one from The Princess Bride WHICH IS APT.)

Royal Ascot Lego Delights

Per Getty Imagines: "Rachel Trevor-Morgan, The Queen's milliner, fits designer hats to LEGO figures ahead of Royal Ascot."

I am officially 100% in favor of this, and also want these for my home. There's a whole delightful piece with far more pictures here, as well. I love the tiny gravel for LEGOLAND Buckingham Palace, also.

Henry The VIII

Oh, right, did I not mention this? Henry VIII is back from the dead. LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS. (Or, Damian Lewis is playing him in the BBC adaptation of Wolf Hall, which I suspect might turn out to be quite good. I just couldn't resist.)

Royals Round-Up, June 13 2014

Well. I know that I often say that this slideshow has everything but this slideshow really does have everything: GOATS. LEGOS. CROWNS. CAPES. DAMIAN LEWIS. VERY HIGH FASHION. WOMEN DRESSED AS FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE. PENS. ANGELINA JOLIE. A HARP. Everything! I can't wait for you to see this insane AMAZING ensemble on Queen Maxima. In case you missed the rest of this week's Royal Shenanigans here at GFY, allow me: Kate rewore Alexander McQueen at the Buckingham Palace Garden Party this week, but she lost the belt and added a hat that looks a bit like a tortilla pinned to the top of her head. You're still my girl, Middleton. Same day, Kate ALSO wore this crisp nautical number to go stand next to trophies and chat with very hot sailors and also Simon Le Bon. That's two Le Bon sightings in one week. We might be heading into a Le Bonnaissance. William and Becks hung out and talked about their blue suits and the brown-haired ladies they're married to. I assume. Also endangered species. I Wanna Marry "Harry" moved Heather to new heights of capsy rage, to wit: "The show is ROUTINELY THE WORST AT EVERYTHING. TOWER BRIDGE. IT’S TOWER BRIDGE. IT’S THE BRIDGE BY THE TOWER OF LONDON. AT TOWER HILL. RIGHT BY TOWER HILL TUBE STOP IT’S SUPER FAMOUS. TOWER BRIDGE. And even if that’s an easy mistake to make for people who are not familiar with London, when you SET YOUR SHOW there and you FLY OVER IT and your whole premise is whether this yobbo is convincing anyone he’s royalty, DO YOUR HOMEWORK." As a programming note, Trooping The Color (which is the official celebration of QE2's b-day, because when you are Queen, you can have your birthday whenever you want to) is Saturday, and I will be home working all weekend ANYWAY, so check back then; we should get the whole group. (George is apparently a game-time decision; all the royals reporters seem to think that we probably WON'T see him, but that it isn't impossible. My guess is, they're nervous he's going to launch himself off the balcony.) And around the rest of the internet, there's much to discuss: This is a good wrap-up of What We Know about this whole Spanish Abdication Situation. It's interesting, and I can see how people are sort of wondering if the Spanish monarchy is on the way out; after all, Juan Carlos was the King with whom the monarchy was restored (post-Franco), so it's not quite like this is a well-entrenched state of affairs in modern Spain, if I understand it all correctly, which I may not. Also interesting: "The King will lose the legal immunity he enjoyed as sovereign. This could have interesting implications; a couple of paternity lawsuits were dismissed a few years ago because of his immunity." SCANDALOUS. (Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor) Juan Carlos is SAYING he's abdicating because he doesn't want Felipe to "wither waiting like Prince Charles," like, I think also you had a lot of other problems as mentioned above BUT ALSO BURN. That quote got out because he wanted it to, and it's TOTALLY BITCHY of him, y'all. Are you still touchy about the Armada, JC? ZING HISTORY JOKE. (The Telegraph) Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor also has a good look at the Royal Christening in Sweden this week, for all your Swedish Baby Needs. (She is CUTE.) This week's Hot Yachter has offered to give Prince George sailing lessons and apparently Kate was like, "that is a GREAT IDEA but let's wait until he can swim, okay?" (The Express) Milliner Jane Taylor -- who's made some FABULOUS HATS -- talks to Hello! about nuclear fusion. By which I mean hats, and Royal Ascot. She has a LOT of helpful hat tips; there's also a funny moment where she says that she made loads of a hat that Kate wore "for the Americans." That does sound like us. Cressida has brought out the sideboob. To me, the best part of this whole thing is the expression on the face of the man to whom she is speaking in one of the photos. It's like, "DO NOT LOOK AT THE SIDEBOOB. DO NOT." The Express seems to think she and Harry MIGHT get back together, but Katie Nicholl at VF says she thinks it's well dunzo and I tend to believe her on this one, if only because Cressida has taken some movie role recently and seems to really be Getting On With It. (As well she should.) Harry's in Chile and Brazil this month -- WHAT A COINCIDENCE, DURING THE WORLD CUP -- and Vanity Fair has the details. VF also claims Harry's sked is "too packed" for him to get into trouble (AKA into the pants of some lovely Brazilian and Chilean ladies), and that's so nice of them to pretend that's true. Royals Central suspects that Princess Beatrice is trying to move into being a "full-time working royal," which is VERY interesting considering the convo we had earlier this week about how Chaz is rumored to want to block the royals who aren't in his family being able to make a career out of it, once he's in charge. As you guys know, I've noticed over the past month or so that Beatrice has been doing more events, and she's doing a whole tour of the Isle of Wight next week, so I have suspected that something like this was percolating, but they go into considerably more detail. Toblerone made a twelve foot chocolate portrait of George and Wills because people love portraits made of food. Also for PR. Which I guess I just gave them, but I AM a person who loves portraits made of food and who doesn't enjoy a Toblerone? (People) [Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash, PA Wire]