Prince Harry

Here's Harry -- single and safely unsinged from his trip to Memphis -- at the Sentebale Summer Party, which is in service of his charity which helps orphans in the African country of Lesotho.

Princess Claire of Belgium

Allow me to merely quote to you our photo service's caption on this photo: "Princess Claire of Belgium cuts on April 30, 2014 the birthday cake with a statuette portraying Queen Elizabeth II on top at a birthday party in honor of the Queen at the British Residence in Brussels." I demand a QE2 cake topper atop all my future cakes!

Service Of The Order Of Bath

So, the BBC has all kind of interesting info about this event, including that Prince Charles has taken over some of the duties for Her Maj, in part because -- to translate the subtext -- part of this ceremony involves climbing up on this steep thing and everyone thought she might crash off it in this outfit. Frankly, I am only 38 and I myself would be nervous about climbing up a steep thing in this outfit.

Service Of The Order Of Bath

I mean, there's a BIG CAPE. This might be one of my favorites of the ceremonial outfits. It's so DRAMATIC and said cape attaches with, like, a giant fringed curtain pull.

Service Of The Order Of Bath

Per Getty: "Britain's Queen Elizabeth II walks through Westminster Abbey as Page of Honour Hugo Bertie carries her robes during the Order of the Bath Service...The Order of the Bath service, held every four years, is always attended by Prince Charles but he is joined every eighth year by the Queen, who was last present in May 2006... It originated in the medieval period when the honor was only conferred on a knight after he had performed a number of rituals designed to purify the inner soul - fasting, vigils and prayer, and cleansing by bathing. The Order dates back to 1725 and uses Henry VII's Chapel in Westminster Abbey as its Chapel."

Wikipedia, of course, also has all kinds of other tidbits, like who wears what cape when, and -- IN BOLD -- the note that honorary foreign members MAY NOT suddenly start calling themselves Sir SoAndSo UNLESS they become citizens of the Commonwealth SO DO NOT EVEN TRY, George HW Bush!

The Queen And Duke OF Edinburgh Visit Essex

The Queen popped out in a variety of hats this week.

The Queen And Duke OF Edinburgh Visit Essex

For a moment, I thought Her Majesty's jacket was trimmed in sunflower seeds, in case we need a snack.

Sophie visits Fifth Battalion

Per our photo service: "Sophie, Countess of Wessex visits the Fifth Battalion The Rifles on exercise before deployment to Afghanistan in Salisbury, UK." And these pictures are awesome.

Sophie visits Fifth Battalion

Camo totally suits her.

Princess Charlene

This was a welcoming ceremony for Montenegro's president official visit to Monaco. I actually really like this dress on her, and I am convinced she is regretting that she's not wearing sunglasses.

King Willem-Alexander And Queen Maxima Of The Netherlands On Achterhoek Provincial Tour In Ulft

W-A and M are, and I quote, visiting " the DRU industrial complex as part of a regional tour of The Achterhoek." Sure! The photog made sure to get us close-ups of Maxima LK Bennett's, which makes me think he or she also recently got back from Australia and is like, "PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SHOES." And that is actually wholly correct. We DO need to know about shoes. Anyway, she's charming and I love that skirt. I actually find them SO adorable. Last week, one of you said that basically he felt like he had no reason to live until they got together and you can tell they really like each other, which obviously we all like.

Queen Maxima Of The Netherlands On Achterhoek Provincial Tour In Borculo

God only knows what she is wearing on her head.

King Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima Of The Netherlands Attend Freedom Concert in Amsterdam

This dress is slightly wacky, BUT! Per Getty Images and several of you on Twitter, and the lovelies at Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor, it seems Maxima is wearing the exact same dress Queen Beatrix wore during her state visit to Belgium way back in 1981. Which is awesome.

King Philippe Of Belgium And Queen Mathilde Of Belgium receive Baron Toots Thielemans At Laeken Castle

This color is really happening, right now, too, as Queen Mathilde is wearing it here. (And obviously, we saw it on Kate two weeks ago.)

Additionally, can we sidebar to talk about how amazing this phrase is: "Baron Toots Thielemans At Laeken Castle."

Princess Letizia of Spain Attends Audiences at Zarzuela Palace

What HAPPENS in these "audiences" at the Palace anymore? Sincerely. I know that, like, back in the day, when you got a royal audience you plead your case about, say, getting the Crown's permission to marry so and so, or to be allowed to hunt on royal land, or to get your neighbor in trouble for consistently stealing your cows. But what are they used for now? ARE NEIGHBORS STILL STEALING COWS?

Royals Round-Up, May 9th 2014

This Royals Round-Up has many items in which you are potentially interested: American weddings! Weird cake toppers! Hats! Gowns! Tiaras! Ceremonial ensembles! Kate's beige patent LK Bennett heels, albeit not on Kate (whom I assume is still sitting on the sofa at home yawning with her hair in a ponytail while the baby tries to stick priceless artifacts in his mouth)! Fatigues! A question about cows! Additionally, big thanks to those of you who recommended The Heir Apparent: A Life of Edward VII, the Playboy Prince in the comments last week. I'm reading it right now, and it's fascinating and excellent. Queen Victoria comes across like a total pain in the bustle. Read it so we can discuss! For your reading pleasure elsewhere: -- The Memphis Wedding that Harry and William attended last weekend sounds like quite a party. The Telegraph's story uses the word "twerking" and apparently William got up on stage and sang, which we know he has a tendency to do, both from that time he got up and sang with Bon Jovi and also from that scene in the amazing/boring Wills and Kate Lifetime movie I recapped three years ago, and stumbled upon yesterday when I was looking for something else. (If you are bored, a re-read may prove entertaining.) William apparently really had a good time. He likes a good wedding. --People has an excellent recap of the weekend's shenanigans. You know I love how People always tells us what people ate at every turn. Thank you for indulging me, People. -- Although Wills looks a bit cranky at Graceland, probably because (a) the press were everywhere in Memphis and it was insane (b) one of girls they're visiting Graceland with seems like a pain (she's not in those photos, but I saw snaps where she's pretending she's going to flash the paparazzi her bra; like, calm down, sister, you're not helping), (c) People, as seen above, reported that he ate nachos on his lay-over and now Kate knows he's cheating on his diet, and (d) everyone got to wear Elvis glasses but him. Heavy is the head that wears the crown eventually. -- Hello! also has loads of snaps of the weekend. So many snaps. -- William took economy for part of the trip. Can you imagine trundling onto that plane and stumbling past him? I would have been like, "HI I JUST HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS DO YOU MIND?" (That's from The Daily Mail I KNOW) -- The Express thinks that part of the Cressy/Harry bust-up stems from...one of the new shows on Bravo this season. ANDY COHEN STRIKES AGAIN! -- Tom Sykes over at the Daily Beast has a very interesting piece theorizing that part of the reason for the break-up was a discussion about Cressida's red sneakers -- and what they represent. (There's more to it than that; it's an interesting read, in part about how Kate is very skilled at picking her battles in a way that another person might not be.) -- Prince George is getting a flower named after him. AS WELL HE SHOULD. The Grand Snugglenoodle SquashyThigh Rose. (Royals Central) -- Speaking of babies, Mike Tindall took baby Mia out onto the rugby pitch and if you're interested in muscular sportsmen toting infants, this is for you. (Hello!) -- The Court Jeweller counts down ten of the world's "maddest tiaras." And it's so fun. -- Tatler has a piece about fabulous outfits at British racing events, which I am sticking here and not in Fugs & Pieces because half of the mentioned are royals. There's a shot of Diana looking delighted and Charles looking cranky as hell; he must have lost some cashola. I LOVE old photos of people at the races! So very many hats. (Tatler) -- And speaking of Royal Ascot, Pippa's penned a guide for Vanity Fair. I am surprised that she only went for the first time LAST year, though I guess Kate has NEVER been, sooo. Anyway, it's rather fun and instructional. To wit: "one of the most entertaining parts of Royal Ascot is spotting the extraordinary hats, which last year included everything from a serving of Mr. Whippy 99 Flake ice cream to a full English breakfast to a fanciful turban, a three-tiered cake, a macaroon stand, and a black swan."