Zoe Saldana

It's just... I get the idea, I think, but the textures are weird to me, and it's uninspiring -- like she built it around a tank top from Banana Republic.

Zoe Saldana

From this angle, the dress is very reminiscent of Jennifer Lopez in that ice poncho. Part of me thinks being a poncho is worse, and then the rest of me is firm that poncho-adjacent is worse -- like, at least commit. Artificial Poncho Flavoring just feels sad.

Zoe Saldana

However, her shoes, per usual, are super cute. She is the opposite of Michelle Williams in that regard. Maybe they should swap. And then Zoe could just chuck the red ones out the car window and go barefoot.

SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Zoe Saldana

Surely this looked better in person, right? Because for my money, she is one second away from spinning in a field while a purring voice-over describes true feminine freshness, then warns us not to douche and drive. [Photos: Getty]