David Hasselhoff
Informative Caption tells me, "Baywatch star David Hasselhoff donned a different iconic red outfit today as he topped a poll as the celebrity Brits most want to have a Christmas snap taken with. For kids everywhere, the excitement of Christmas is inextricably linked to the yearly trip to Santa's Grotto for a photo with the great man himself. For adults, however, it's a different story, with the a poll by Nikon Coolpix revealing that the majority (72%) feeling too mature to have a picture with Father Christmas. Some also reported disappointing experiences with festive figures, with over half (52%) having had to pose with an unconvincing or unpleasant Santa, and over a third (39%) having had dealings with a Saint Nic who was too young, too thin, or had food in his beard! Following such disappointments it would appear that most adults would rather pose with the Hoff for their Xmas snap." I... have nothing to add to this majesty.
1886 Historical Collection
Next, I'm told this is a drawing of a woman gathering mistletoe, by climbing up a really tall ladder and then casually standing on a tree branch. I'm pretty sure she's going to fall to her death. Just FAKE IT, kid.
It's bad enough that they sold Santa their little sister for an extra present, but NOW they're giving away their mother's Christmas whiskey.
This is a Santa training school, and I gather the reindeer wasn't having it.
1903
Informative Caption wins this one again: "A Really Creepy French Father Christmas Surprisingly Doesn't Terrify Two Young Girls."
Postcard
I didn't mean to let Informative Caption do all the work here, but it keeps delivering: "A Very Scary Father Christmas with Billhook and Lantern. The Caption is Also A Little Bizarre - It Reads: 'May Christmas Mirth Wed New Year's Joy.'" I mean... clearly that will be a red wedding. And I feel like he'll be played by Norbert Leo Butz.
1905
"And then we complete the human sacrifice by throwing the baby in the fire, and tomorrow morning, all your presents will be here like magic."
1916
If Father Christmas had spent any time watching Grey's Anatomy, he'd know that this girl doesn't need a doll; she needs to get to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.
1922
And then Santa got mugged. This is from "Our Gang" but the idea of Santa falling asleep on a chimney and getting robbed feels like how 2020 SHOULD end, doesn't it?