Shotgun Wedding

Jennifer Lopez in Valentino

Time was, it was odds-on that J.Lo would wear something see-through, but she's leaned out of it on the red carpet lately. NOT TODAY. She looks like the stage after a male revue. Jennifer Lopez IS "The Thunder From Down Under." In the past, she's at least worn some lovely sheers? This doesn't really qualify for me. It's a mosquito net.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/Shutterstock (13722815ei) Jennifer Lopez 'Shotgun Wedding' film premiere, Los Angeles, California, USA - 18 Jan 2023

You can see better how sheer it is when she moves. I'm sure it's a catsuit under the tulle, so like... a two-ply nude illusion. I think what perplexes me the most is the waist tie UNDERNEATH the full netting.

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 18: Jennifer Lopez arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere Of Prime Video's "Shotgun Wedding" at TCL Chinese Theatre on January 18, 2023 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/FilmMagic)

Oh, Lo. I did think we'd moved on from this.

D'Arcy Carden in Cinq à Sept

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (13722809fd) D'arcy Carden 'Shotgun Wedding' film premiere, Los Angeles, California, USA - 18 Jan 2023

J.Lo would have looked GREAT in this. D'Arcy definitely does.

Xochitl Gomez

J.Lo ALSO would've looked dishy in THAT. Xochitl took off the fur piece and the dress itself is just a slightly low-sitting boring black sheath; it definitely needed the plush part.

Audra Mari and Josh Duhamel

And J.Lo would have looked great in that! Either outfit, probably, but I was referring to the dress. This is a string of What J.Lo Should Have Worn.

Lenny Kravitz

J.Lo could totally pull off flares and a leather coat.

Selena Tan

Yep, J.Lo would have looked good in this too. Selena, however, looks fab in it and she got it first and GOOD ON HER. Sorry, J.Lo, foiled again.

Whitney Cummings

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (13722809gu) Jennifer Coolidge 'Shotgun Wedding' film premiere, Los Angeles, California, USA - 18 Jan 2023

Aaaaaand this is where the train screeches to a halt. Nobody needs to try and pull this off. It's like she had a fling in the Parsons work room and had to figure out how to get out of there while passing off her lover's shirt as intentional.

Tyrese Gibson

Sure, okay. This IS what you wear if you're in the Fast and Furious family, I assume.

Fortune Feimster

This is exactly her thing, and so along we move.

Jennifer Coolidge

"I saw water in the preview. You're not gonna put me in a boat again are you?"

Page Kennedy

This is so dramatic. I feel like that shirt could be the backdrop for a scene about the fall of Rome.

Soniqua Shandai

I wish this were a full ball gown! The pattern is so pretty.

Callie Hernandez

J.Lo could have worn this too! It's not much of a dress, though.

Anne Winters

In many ways I am shocked J.Lo hasn't worn a dress that's designed with buttock vents. (She probably HAS and it's just not recent, nor this specific.) This skirt is truly a David's Bridal tragedy.

Stormi Bree Henley

Stormi is going to get a warm thank-you note from Camp J.Lo for making her sheer dress look a lot better by comparison.