SI Swimsuit Issue Parties

BanX

MIAMI, FL - MAY 11: Tyra Banks attends the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit On Location Day 2 at Ice Palace on May 11, 2019 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by John Parra/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated)

"I know, I don't know what I was thinking either! BanX sounds like a super powerful deodorant! Whatever. Also, here's my bra."

Kate Upton, Olivia Culpo, Tyra

Olivia Culpo is going to be very frustrated that she didn't get the Statement Hat memo. However, her pants are making a statement of their own, and that statement is Hell No. (Also, none of Tyra's outfit fits, so Kate's clothes win this by default.)

Tyra

I guess those shoes are for when you WANT bootaleggings but you can't actually find any? The Pink Ladies will be very interested to see this take on their aesthetic

Tyra

Is she clamping her arm down there so that we might not notice if the bottom part of her dress is as see-through as the top is trying to be? And as her shoes are? THOSE SHOES. They are ill-fitting and terrible, and she wore them again...

Tyra

... with this, a dress whose sleeves had aspirations of a Pac Man mouth.

Tyra with Hailey Clauson

MIAMI, FL - MAY 11: Tyra Banks and Haley Clauson attend the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Celebrates 2019 Issue Launch at Myn-Tu on May 11, 2019 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated)

Dear Hailey: I don't think this is how sleeves are supposed to work.

Paulina Porizkova

She did take pictures with Tyra, so there blessedly can't be too much awkward bad ANTM blood there. I do miss her dark hair.

Paulina Porizkova

It's not that she doesn't work as a blonde; it's just that my mind's eye only knows her as a brunette, so I needed Informative Caption to ID her for me. She also seems to be crossing her arms as if she's not wild about her outfit, which itself feels like kind of a nothing sandwich.

Halima Aden

Halima is the first model to wear a hijab and burkini in SI. She also looks stunning in this, and is a perfect example of how your clothes don't have to be trying to reinvent garments in order to be stylish and effective.

Halima Aden

HAVING SAID THAT, her shirt seems to be from a Big and Tall warehouse and I don't fully understand her pants.

Barbara Palvin

Let's start with the good news: this outfit.

Barbara Palvin

The medium news is this outfit, which is an okay pattern but whose skirt was eaten by the static-cling gods.

Barbara Palvin

And the bad news is this outfit, which is such a shitshow that even the camouflage regrets that it's not truly invisible.

Danielle Herrington

The good news: Even with the wrong shoes, that dress is super cute and lively.

Danielle Herrington

The medium news: It's... buckled, at least

Danielle Herrington

The bad news: Again, this entire outfit.

Olivia Culpo

I assume she's... in the issue somewhere? That's quite a slit, Olivia.

Haley Kali

I am not entirely sure who this is, but she was on the red carpet in this, so... I'm pretty sure this is from the same Mugler line as Bella Hadid's terrible catsuit. It is ghastly.

Camille Kostek

Sure! That seems... potentially heavy and as if it moves as one large bloc, rather than as fabric, but it's DEFINITELY among the most relatable of these outfits.