SJP and Ferris at the Tonys

1983: Tommy Tune, Harvey Fierstein, Matthew Broderick

Tommy Tune, Harvey Fierstein, and Matthew Broderick (Photo by Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

Ferris here won his first Tony in 1983, at 21, three years before he even WAS Ferris (and the same year WarGames came out). He was Best Featured Actor for Brighton Beach Memoirs; Tommy Tune up there won Best Actor in a Musical for My One and Only; and Fierstein won Best Play AND Best Actor for Torch Song Trilogy (and Matthew starred alongside him in the 1998 movie adaptation, in fact). You also need to know that Cats won for Best Musical and somehow finagled T.S. Eliot a win for Best Book of a Musical even though he didn't have a say in it actually BEING a musical. I guess Jellicles can, and Jellicles will.

1990: Helen Hunt and Brods

NEW YORK CITY - JUNE 3: Actress Helen Hunt and actor Matthew Broderick attend the 44th Annual Tony Awards After Party on June 3, 1990 at the New York Hilton Hotel in New York City. (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

Did these two date?!? If so, between her and Jennifer Grey from their Ferris days and then SJP, he clearly has a thing for light brown curly hair. This also possibly could not be a worse photo of him. He looks like he drank the spiked punch at Prom, and she looks like the cousin he dragged with him who REALLY wants to leave now.

1992: with Patti LuPone

Patti LuPone and Matthew Broderick during 1992 Tony Nominations at Sardi's Restaurant in New York City, New York, United States. (Photo by Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

This was not the actual Tonys, but I didn't realize that until it was too late. But! Celebrating the nominees alongside Patti LuPone is basically the same thing. I was hoping the two of them were having a torrid love affair at this time -- he started dating SJP in 1992 but I don't know WHEN -- but she was married. So let's just marvel at her hair and his attempt at a beard.

1993

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

I mean, it's BETTER, but I still feel like he didn't shave in the hope that he'd get some stubble pushing through and instead ended up with shadow.

1995

He was there this year, too -- he won, for How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying, which she was in with him, and appropriately enough I believe whoever made this was trying to succeed in designing without really trying.

1996

This dress says, "Forget me, please," and indeed we shall, in a minute.

1999

Her aesthetic here feels very Jennifer Aniston to me.

2000

These frames are by far his best glasses. He should go back to them.

2001

Sarah Jessica Parker arriving at the American Theatre Wing's 55th Annual Antoinette Perry Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, NY Sunday June 3rd, 2001. photo by Scott Gries/ImageDirect

I like the idea, but... SMOOSH.

2003, in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Dave Allocca/Starpix/Shutterstock (5627869m) Sarah Jessica Parker. THE TONY AWARDS AT RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL, NEW YORK, AMERICA - 08 JUN 2003 SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL

"It worked!" the devil cackled with glee and clapped his chapped mitts. "Kim Cattrall will have to do Crossroads in exchange for this favor," he mused, still giggling, "but I think she'll agree she got the better end of the deal."

2004

The angels must have swooped in this year to even out the balance.

2005

Matthew Broderick during 59th Annual Tony Awards - Outside Arrivals at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, New York, United States. (Photo by Robin Platzer/FilmMagic)

Everything looks a little OFF here, including his bow tie.

2011, with Christie Brinkley

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 12: (EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE) Matthew Broderick and Christie Brinkley attend the 65th Annual Tony Awards at the Beacon Theatre on June 12, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Tony Awards Productions)

Just a couple of 80s icons on the town.

2011

"Oh, shit. Is that the time? I gotta go before my parents get back and find the mannequin in my bed."

2013: Chris Sullivan, Brods, and Kelli O'Hara

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 10: (EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE) Matthew Broderick (C) and Kelli O'Hara (R) attend the 66th Annual Tony Awards at The Beacon Theatre on June 10, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Tony Award Productions)

Chris Sullivan wasn't even ID'd in the caption; this is well before This Is Us, obviously. He was a featured player in Nice Work If You Can Get It, a Gershwin musical. It got a bunch of noms, including for Kelli, but not for Ferris. Kelli is pulling off that cap.

2013, with Sally Field

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 09: Sally Field (L) and Matthew Broderick speak onstage at The 67th Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on June 9, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images for Tony Awards Productions)

"Hello. We discussed it, and decided to try and wear matching glasses to distract from how it looks like my dress is peeling itself off. Thank you and goodnight."