Sophie Turner in Isabel Marant

Somewhere in London, Joan Collins just awoke with a gasp. "MY SHOULDER PADS. THEY'RE ALIVE," she whispers into the night.

Sophie Turner

She looks approximately one million feet tall in this.

Michael Fassbender, director Simon Kinberg and Sophie Turner

Apologies to Simon Kinberg for the fact that his eyes are closed here; this was my best look at Sophie's dress. Simon, if it helps, you look slick -- especially next to Fassbender, who is both legally handsome and dressed just like my late grandfather. (He was a slick dresser! But also, you know, like 68 years old.) 

Sophie, over there, looks like she get mixed up in a border war with the kids who work at Foot Locker and the ones who work at Claire's, that they decided to solve by melding their respective patronuses into one Project Runway-esque cocktail gown. 

Sophie Turner Continues Experimenting With Trousers and Giant Sleeves

Her fake bangs have bid us adieu.