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# Spring Fuggers
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/spring-fuggers-03-2013/
- Published: 2013-03-08T21:00:37.000Z
- Updated: 2013-03-08T18:16:06.000Z
- Author: Jessica  
- Tags: fugs, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35

The 90s officially ARE back:

[![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/163313112.xml "The Alliance For Children's Rights' 21st Annual Dinner - Arrivals")](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/03/163313112.jpg?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)

Which is fine. I've accepted this. However, if the 90s are coming back, I demand certain other items other than goth maxi skirts and sheer/velvet tops from Contempto Casuals and charms nicked from the set of *The Craft*. Here are my conditions, 90s. If you want to come back, you need to bring with you the following:

- Johnny Depp [in his gorgeous prime, pre-TimBurtonization and his raging addiction to looking like Captain Jack Sparrow all the time](https://giselaandzoe.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/johnny-depp-19901.jpg?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io).
- Pursuant to the previous, *Sassy* magazine. But awesome, original *Sassy* and not the weird terrible *Sassy* that happened after it got bought by Peterson. Additionally, someone needs to do something about [the *Sassy* wikipedia page, because it seems totally half-assed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sassy%5F%28magazine%29?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io) and whoever wrote it really didn't get *Sassy* AT ALL.
- The 1995 UCLA men's basketball team, as they were in 1995, to immediately substitute for the 2013 UCLA men's basketball team.
- *Melrose Place* and a fully bad-ass Heather Locklear
- This really cute paisley Gap messenger bag I had in 1993 that has to be in my mother's house somewhere, but which I can not find.

That's it. Deliver these to me, 90s Throwbacks, and you can stay. I will even accept a facsimile of the messenger bag. I am not totally unreasonable.

\[Photo: Getty\]