Svetlana Kolesnichenko & Svetlana Romashina, ROC

These two won, and it was VERY well-deserved. Their suits are not subtle -- it was, indeed, a spider-themed show set to a frenetic song called "Spiders" -- and neither was their choreo, but that's what made it so great. Constant movement, big drama, great shapes with their bodies. Look:

They did a very creepy set of moves to get themselves into position here, and the fact that none of that is part of the competition and they just do it to set the mood is... itself a mood. A good one. It is COMMITMENT. All the teams do something; while it seems on the surface nutty to work that hard on precision and timing for something that isn't judged, I think it also helps them get their bodies in time with one another.

These two were DRAMA every time their heads were out of the water. They were killer spiders. I loved it.

Huang Xuechen and Sun Wenyan, China

China got silver again, and their leotards have a decided Slytherin feel to them. The whole routine was about snakes.

I've decided this is their homage to The Rod of Asclepius.

Hissssss. Their routine was also good -- they did some snake imagery with the way they held their feet?!? -- but there was a bit less going on than the Russians. I think the result was absolutely right.

Yukiko Inui and Megamu Yoshida, Japan

If you thought, "Are they walking out doing The Robot," then. YOU ARE CORRECT.

Marta Fiedina and Anastasiya Savchuk, Ukraine

Their routine was more balletic. (This ends the run of four that I saw.) The costumes are gorgeous. I always wonder what goes into making them in such a way that the water does not disrupt any of it.

Linda Cerruti & Costanza Ferro

Is that MEANT to be one evil eye glaring at us from their suits? Because it looks like a beast hiding behind some ocean flora or something.

Vasilina Khandoshka and Daria Kulagina of Belarus

SPEAKING OF EVIL EYES. She looks like the queen from the cartoon of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I hope this whole routine was about one woman's quest for Turkish Delight.

Vasilina Khandoshka and Daria Kulagina of Belarus

Again I point out this is NOT EVEN JUDGED. I love them. It's like team yoga.

Anna Maria Alexandri of Austria & Eirini Alexandri, Austria

I do believe that is ANOTHER face. From here it looks like something where you'd find it on your middle schooler's notebook and be like, "Well, she's got some FEELINGS going on, and she should have been taking notes in history class, but she's also going to write some really edgy comics someday."

Claudia Holzner and Jacqueline Simoneau, Canada

This feels very boring by comparison.

Alisa Ozhogina & Iris Tio Casas, Spain

I hope those are meant to symbolize bulls' horns.

Alisa Ozhogina Ozhogin and Iris Tio Casas of Spain

This is them from the technical round, actually, and HOW are the hats not irritating? This must have been baseball-themed, right? I hope it was the Babe Ruth story.

Charlotte Tremble & Laura Tremble, France

I'm going to guess Archery. Do we think full Hunger Games, or just a tribute to the long and varied career of Geena Davis?

Sidebar: I didn't realize how often synchro athletes can break synchro to toss each other.

Nuria Diosdado & Joana Jimenez, Mexico

Thank you for being a friend. Prop me up with your foot again. Your sole is true; you're the best leg to lean right on.

Yukiko Inui and Megamu Yoshida, Japan

Their technical suits are very pretty. The flower on their shoulders reminds me of the alternate leotard we saw on the Japanese gymnasts.

Huang Xuechen and Sun Wenyan, China

The YEARNING. I assume this was a Bridgerton routine all about burning for someone.

Lara Mechnig and Marluce Schierscher of Liechtenstein

Gotta love seeing Liechtenstein on the scene. I don't really like the suits because they look like a mess of color and brush strokes.

Lara Mechnig and Marluce Schierscher of Liechtenstein

These are neater.

Estefania Alvarez Piedrahita and Monica Arango Estrada of Colombia

Who knew synchro could also be erotic. I sincerely feel like this might be in the Kama Sutra somewhere.

Kate Shortman and Isabelle Thorpe, Team GB

I don't love these, with the sheerish sides -- it gives the whole enterprise a Borat feel.

Svetlana Kolesnichenko & Svetlana Romashina, ROC

I love the musical instrument on there. Let's decide this is a tribute to the Nicolas Cage adaptation of Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

Evangelia Papazoglou and Evangelia Platanioti of Greece

This had better be a Jaws routine, ladies. Don't tease us with shark teeth and elbow fins and then not lean all the way into the movie.

Back to Italy, though, for a brief moment of appreciation for WATER DRAMA.

Emily Rogers and Amie Thompson of Australia

Those are really pretty!

Clarissa Johnston and Laura Strugnell of South Africa

Oooh, and that's very sci-fi.

Yukiko Inui and Megumu Yoshida of Japan

The underwater cams are good, too. For the TV audience, they had a camera shooting from the side so you could see underwater and above water at the same time. They didn't use that shot often, but when they did it was very informative. I don't know if the judges get to see those angles or not.

Emily Rogers and Amie Thompson of Australia

But look how cool THIS is. It looks like they're kneeling on water.

Emily Rogers and Amie Thompson of Australia

And now dancing across it. When you flip the shot like this, it's amazing how effortless and light they look, when you know they are working their ASSES off. Well done, all.

The Artistic Swimming -- a.k.a. Synchro -- Did Not Disappoint

I love WATER DRAMA.