Ansel Elgort

Overall, I appreciate the effort here. But the fit of the pants might be sloooooowly inching him into Kramer-ville.

Ian Somerhalder

Ian Somerhalder is leading the charge of the Oh Hey I Just Decided To Drop By dudes.

Paul Wesley

I feel like if you asked me to describe what either Paul Wesley OR Stefan Salvatore was wearing RIGHT NOW, this is EXACTLY what I would say.

Jason Dohring

"Hey guys, I just dressed so that I could easily blend into the background if they asked me to, like, help move set pieces or set up musical performances or run with the AV squad. I'm helpful like that."

Josh Hutcherson

"Hey, guys. Jennifer and Hems the Lesser sent me. They say hi."

Gregg Sulkin

This dude is one of those dudes that I used to think was a TOTALLY other dude. He was on a bunch of Disney Channel stuff, and Pretty Little Liars, but I would have bet you all the money in all the world that he was on Teen Wolf. He IS late for tonight's production of Grease, though, right?

Keegan Allen

Yes, no one's ever done this before.

(That said, I like the Mad Men meets Dead Poets meets ABC's reboot of School Ties as a fall series that I just invented myself that he's got going on here.)

Tyler Posey and Seana Gorlick

THIS is the kid in Teen Wolf, right? He's cute.

Michael J. Willett

A great way to have a blogger look you up is to wear a bright green suit and blue suede shoes. (I actually appreciate the effort.) (He's on that MTV show Faking It. which I hear is actually quite good, even though the title is a little bit 80s Teen Movie About Spring Break Loss of Virginity.)

Tyler Blackburn

I don't know when Tyler Blackburn decided he was French.

Cody Simpson

I just don't get it.

The Janoskians

I REALLY don't get it.

Teen Choice Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Dudes

I KNOW I make this joke every year, but I really, really mean it: I wish there were a Individuals of a Certain Age Awards (maybe Girls of a Certain Age can sponsor it) that just trotted out all kinds of thirty- and forty-something hot dudes for our eye candy pleasure. Instead of "What IS a Cody Simpson," I could be saying, "and here's the winner of Choice Naked Dude, MICHAEL FASSBENDER," or "here's your Choice Hot Dad, HEMSWORTH THE GREATER," or "everyone, give it up for your Choice Hot Old Dude," and then introduce the choicest Hot Old Dude. (I can't remember who we decided that was, last time we talked about Hot Old Dudes.) The final award would be the Ferris Bueller It Is So Choice Choice, of course, and then we'd all be home by 11. But while I work on getting this together, here ARE some Teen Choice Award Dudes. SOME of them ARE kinda old for teens, Jason Dohring.