Thandie Newton: The Fugtrospective

Sept 1991

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/REX/Shutterstock (7544743g) Thandie Newton Portraits of Thandie Newton - 13 Sep 1991

Here she is at 19 years old, with her first role under her belt -- a movie called Flirting, which also starred one Nicole Kidman. Every bit of this is very 1991, and her skin is no less radiant now. I remember reading a review of the second Mission: Impossible that suggested a whole new category of Oscar should be created for her complexion, and apparently that was always and STILL IS true.

Oct 1998

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Bei/REX/Shutterstock (4372022ai) Thandie Newton BELOVED premiere October 12, 1998 Los Angeles, CA Thandie Newton Touchstone Pictures' premiere of BELOVED Photo by: Eric Charbonneau®Berliner Studio/BEImages

Now we're in the era of Beloved, which is when she really broke into Hollywood. I like this material, and am charmed by how shapeless and 1998 it is.

Feb 2001

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Tim Rooke/REX/Shutterstock (333143v) THANDIE NEWTON AT THE BAFTA AWARDS CEREMONY AT THE ODEON LEICESTER SQUARE, LONDON, BRITAIN 25/02/2001 JULIE WALTERS AT THE BAFTA AWARDS ,LONDON,2001.

This is the BAFTAs. She looks amazing, and she could pull that out today and we'd still love it.

Oct 2001

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (392157j) THANDIE NEWTON 'THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARLIE' FILM PREMIERE, LOS ANGELES, AMERICA - 16 OCT 2002

Not so with this. Sorry, Thandie. This looks like you did not follow the care instructions on the label.

Feb 2002

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/REX/Shutterstock (7527112ey) 55th British Academy Film Awards at the Odeon Leicester Square Thandie Newton 55th Bafta Awards - 24 Feb 2002

Somehow between these two photos she suddenly looks like she's back to being 16. I don't necessarily loathe the dress, but the shoes do look like ballet bondage.

Oct 2002 in Donna Karan

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (393046ao) Thandie Newton MARIAH CAREY AT A LISTENING PARTY FOR HER ALBUM 'CHARMBRACELET', MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY, NEW YORK, AMERICA - 22 OCT 2002 Thandie Newton (wearing Donna Karan) arriving to the premiere of Universal Pictures' "The Truth About Charlie" at the Walter Reade Theatre, Lincoln Center in New York City on October 22, 2002. Manhattan, New York Photo® Matt Baron/BEImages.net

Someone needed to tell Donna Karan to cool it with the black string.

Oct 2002

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (395511f) THANDIE NEWTON ELTON JOHN AIDS FOUNDATION FUNDRAISING AUCTION OF LITTLE BLACK DRESSES BY FAMOUS DESIGNERS, METROPOLITAN HOTEL, LONDON, BRITAIN - 31 OCT 2002

I like the idea of this, but it looks like she's wearing a relative's old oversize sweater. EVERYTHING just hangs long and wrong.

Feb 2003

Classic and lovely. Needs a bracelet.

Feb 2004

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (444227bm) Thandie Newton BAFTA AWARDS AT THE ODEON LEICESTER SQUARE, LONDON, BRITAIN - 15 FEB 2004

Contrast that against this, ALSO at the BAFTAs, which from the front looks like a misshapen jersey bag...

Feb 2004

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Ray Tang/REX/Shutterstock (444229f) THANDIE NEWTON BAFTA AWARDS AT THE ODEON LEICESTER SQUARE, LONDON, BRITAIN - 15 FEB 2004

... and from the back looks like a misshapen jersey bag that got caught on a doorknob earlier and she didn't check to see what it did.

Oct 2005

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (557707k) Thandie Newton 9TH ANNUAL HOLLYWOOD FILM FESTIVAL AWARDS, LOS ANGELES, AMERICA - 24 OCT 2005

She seems drawn to shoes that knot at the ankles.

Jan 2006 in Luisa Beccaria

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (571343fk) Thandie Newton 12th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards arrivals, Los Angeles, America - 29 Jan 2006

This is that rare gown that might need a hoik, yet might be lovely regardless.

Feb 2006

I have no idea what's happening on her skirt, and I'm a little nervous that it's a gladiator movie of some kind, but her bracelet is GREAT and so is her hair so let's cling to that.

Feb 2006

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (574592bq) Thandie Newton LAUNCH PARTY FOR BRITISH HARPER'S BAZAAR MAGAZINE PARTY AT CIRQUE, LONDON, BRITAIN - 16 FEB 2006

This is just in case a ballet breaks out.

Feb 2006

And I guess this is in preparation for... what, a spontaneous sleepover?

Feb 2006

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Steve Dutton/REX/Shutterstock (574787d) Thandie Newton LONDON FASHION WEEK VOGUE MAGAZINE COCKTAIL PARTY. LONDON, BRITAIN - 17 FEB 2006

"I'm dressed as a puffed sleeve. Yes, just the one."

Feb 2006 in Christian Lacroix

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (574795as) Thandie Newton 2006 ORANGE BAFTA AWARDS ARRIVALS AT THE ODEON LEICESTER SQUARE, LONDON, BRITAIN - 19 FEB 2006

It's Lacroix, darling, and she looks like she was psychically preparing for her Westworld role a decade early.

May 2006 - Met Gala, in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (585676kr) Thandie Newton COSTUME INSTITUTE GALA CELEBRATING ANGLOMANIA: TRADITION AND TRANSGRESSION IN BRITISH FASHION AT THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, NEW YORK, AMERICA - 01 MAY 2006

The theme of this Met Gala was "CELEBRATING ANGLOMANIA: TRADITION AND TRANSGRESSION IN BRITISH FASHION" -- thank you, Shouty Informative Caption -- and I cannot begin to tell you what this has to do with that.

Aug 2006

They should put this in the dictionary under "HOIK, NEEDS A."

Oct 2006

Much better.

Dec 2006

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (628373db) Thandie Newton 'The Pursuit of Happyness' Film Premiere, Los Angeles, America - 07 Dec 2006 Thandie Newton Los Angeles Premiere of 'The Pursuit of Happyness' at the Mann Village Theatre in Westwood, California on December 7, 2006 . Westwood, California Photo ® Matt Baron/BEImages

Ohhh, y'all. I love the idea of this, but I'm distracted by where it's putting her boobs. The optical illusion is that they live at her waist, which will happen to us all someday, but we all know 2006 was not that "someday" for her.

Jan 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (635764ag) Thandie Newton The Launch of Mulberry for Giles, Harvey Nichols, London, Britain - 30 Jan 2007

THAT is totally fun, though. Put some of her more interesting shoes with it, and we'd have an even bigger winner.

Feb 2007

This is a cute little frock that almost makes one forget she was in Norbit -- or as I like to call this, her fallow period, as it also included a David Schwimmer movie.

Feb 2007 in Giles Deacon

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (640482al) Thandie Newton The Orange British Academy Film Awards arrivals at the Royal Opera House, London, Britain - 11 Feb 2007

This is custom, and for once it DOES seem to fit like it, but sadly the design itself appears to preclude movement. Maybe the skirt hides a little motorized platform so that she can roll herself in.

Feb 2007

I guess when your dress has its own built-in necklace, it never falls off.

March 2007, with Emma Thompson

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (651078ad) Thandie Newton and Emma Thompson The Lavender Trust 'Speakeasy' auction and cocktail party, Claridges, London, Britain - 14 Mar 2007

It is obvious why I included this photo. IT IS A MOOD. I want to go to that party now.

Sept 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jonathan Hordle/REX/Shutterstock (692535n) Thandie Newton 'Run, Fat Boy, Run' world film premiere, London, Britain - 03 Sep 2007

I adore those shoes, and WANT to love the dress, but it does feel a bit too much like a white sheath that her kids helped spice up with some cut-up sheeting.

Sept 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Paul Hawthorne/Starpix/REX/Shutterstock (5625055i) Thandie Newton 'Run Fat Boy Run' Special screening at the Film Society Of Lincoln Center, New York, America - 20 Sep 2007

And we have LIPSTICK.

Sept 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (696361k) Thandie Newton The Golden Age of Couture Gala, Victoria and Albert Museum, London, Britain - 18 Sep 2007

Here I think we're finally getting glimpses of who she is now, sartorially. That's quite a pattern, and it looks great on her.

Oct 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Tim Rooke/REX/Shutterstock (701276c) Thandie Newton 'Matthew Williamson: 10 Years in Fashion' exhibition private view at the Design Museum, London, Britain - 16 Oct 2007

Okay but that looks like she bought it at a gift shop somewhere.

November 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Paul Hawthorne/Starpix/REX/Shutterstock (5632695ad) Thandie Newton Grand Reopening of The New Museum, New York, America - 28 Nov 2007

If that's Calvin Klein (they sponsored the event), then it's light years better than ANYTHING CK has done recently. Also, Raf Simons (former Dior ruiner, current CK ruiner) will no longer be with that label going forward, so I have higher hopes for it now.

Nov 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Picture Perfect/REX/Shutterstock (705927ax) Thandie Newton BAFTA LA Cunard Britannia Awards, Century City, Los Angeles, America - 01 Nov 2007

Okay, that is sassy on top and the Queen Mum on the bottom.

Nov 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jim Smeal/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (707665h) Thandie Newton 'No Country for Old Men' film premiere, Los Angeles, America - 04 Nov 2007

I love the idea of this, but I'm not sure how well-made it is.

Nov 2007

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jonathan Hordle/REX/Shutterstock (715101k) Thandie Newton Tiffany and Co present Skate at Somerset House, London, Britain - 20 Nov 2007

YES. HEAD-SASS.

Nov 2007 in Giles Deacon

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (716399aa) Thandie Newton British Fashion Awards, Lawrence Hall, London, Britain - 27 Nov 2007

Those are some striking fabrics that look a bit hastily put together.

Dec 2007 in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (718052af) Thandie Newton Karl Lagerfeld's Chanel Private Dinner, at Nobu, London, Britain - 05 Dec 2007

I like this mini so very much that I'm just not going to look at the boring shoes. I won't. I WON'T, THANDIE.

Feb 2008 in Alexander McQueen

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (731997s) Thandie Newton The Orange British Academy Film Awards press room at the Royal Opera House, London, Britain - 10 Feb 2008

Let's see. Would this have been better without the lace bodysuit, or without the built-in baby sling? Or both?

March 2008

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Henry Lamb/Photowire/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (743308j) David Schwimmer and Thandie Newton 'Run Fatboy Run' Film Premiere in New York, America - 20 Mar 2008

I guess she was really into sheer sleeves at this point in her life. David Schwimmer was apparently himself going through a real self-important Auteur phase (he directed Run, Fatboy, Run, which is a Simon Pegg movie about... well, pretty much that?), too busy with his art to learn about things like pants, or how ties work.

March 2008 in McQueen

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (743452ew) Thandie Newton 'Run Fatboy Run' Film Premiere at the Arclight cinema Hollywood, Los Angeles California, America - 24 Mar 2008 Thandie Newton (wearing Alexander McQueen) Los Angeles Premiere of 'Run, Fatboy, Run' at the ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood, California on March 24, 2008 . Hollywood, California Photo ® Matt Baron/BEImages

I LOVE this. It feels like a luau.

May 2008 - Met Gala, in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (5125928dr) Thandie Newton 2008 Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Gala Thandie Newton 2008 Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City on May 5, 2008 . New York City Photo ® Matt Baron/BEImages

NOPE. I would allow this from Rihanna, if it were her own fashion show for a lingerie line and she decided to close her own catwalk, and NO ONE ELSE.

May 2008

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jonathan Hordle/REX/Shutterstock (763076ax) Thandie Newton 10th Anniversary of the Lavender Trust, Claridge's, London, Britain - 01 May 2008

This was a very bad marriage between two dresses who should have been stopped. They were young, they were still developing, they had their whole lives ahead of them... and then BAM.

Sept 2008

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/REX/Shutterstock (7548450am) the World Premiere of 'Rocknrolla' at the Odeon Westend Thandie Newton (wearing Jasmine De Milo) The World Premiere of 'Rocknrolla' at the Odeon Westend - 01 Sep 2008

This is a terrible thing to have happen.

Sept 2008

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (797357k) Thandie Newton GQ Men of the Year Awards, Royal Opera House, London, Britain - 02 Sep 2008 Stars turned up in their droves last night for the annual GQ Men Of The Year Awards at Londons Royal Opera House. Among those honoured were Led Zeppelin (Outstanding Achievement of the Year Award), Primal Scream (Band of the Year prize, presented by Elle Macpherson), Gordon Ramsay (Entrepreneur of the Year, awarded by Liz Hurley), David Bailey (Lifetime Achievement Award given by Jerry Hall), The Mighty Boosh (Comedians of the Year, as awarded by Jaime Winstone), Steve Coogan (Actor of the Year), Chris Evans (Radio Personality of the Year, presented by Will Young), The Killers Brandon Flowers (Most Stylish Man of the Year), Joe Calzaghe (Sportsman of the Year), Boris Johnson (Politician of the Year), Tony Bennett (given the Inspiration gong by Sir Elton John) and Mark Ronson, who took the Alfred Dunhill Maverick Award, as a "gentleman of independent or non-conformist views or actions". Pop band Keane finished off proceedings with a performance of their latest single, Spiralling.

I love that this photo makes it appear she has a third leg growing out of her knee. I also love this outfit, so it's a win on all fronts.

Oct 2008

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (812476d) Thandie Newton 'W' film premiere at the 52nd BFI London Film Festival, London, Britain - 23 Oct 2008 W. is a 2008 biopic based on the life and presidency of George W. Bush. The film was produced and directed by Oliver Stone and stars Josh Brolin as President George W. Bush, Elizabeth Banks as his wife Laura, Thandie Newton as Condoleezza Rice, Jeffrey Wright as Colin Powell, James Cromwell as George Bush Snr and Richard Dreyfuss as Dick Cheney.

I completely forgot that she plays Condi Rice in W. This dress is not one that I would ever think would work, but WOW, is it working on her.

Feb 2009

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Daniel Deme/EPA/REX/Shutterstock (7870633a) British Actress Thandie Newton Poses For Photographers at the Winners' Board During the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (bafta) Annual Awards Held at the Royal Opera House in Central London Britain 08 February 2009 the Baftas Are the Biggest Awards of Their Kind in the Uk and Are Meant to Honour Achievement Within the Film and Television Industry in 23 Categories Britain Thandie Newton - Feb 2009

This is vintage -- WHAT vintage, I know not -- and it ALSO needs a hoik, but I love the idea.

Feb 2009

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (847997fm) Thandie Newton Elle Style Awards at Big Sky Studios, London, Britain - 09 Feb 2009 The cream of the fashion and entertainment worlds gathered at Big Sky London last night for the 'Oscar's of the fashion world' - the Elle Style Awards in association with H&M. At the awards, Slumdog Millionaire picked up Film of the Year. Its star Freida Pinto was named Best Actress, while Mickey Rourke scooped Best Actor. Courtney Love was named Woman of the Year and Sienna Miller landed the Elle Style Icon gong for her "unique, fashion forward style". In the TV categories, Alexa Chung won Best TV, while 'Gavin And Stacey' was awarded Best TV Series. Best Music went to Kings Of Leon, who accepted the award via video-link. Lara Bohinc won the Jewellery Designer award and Rupert Sanderson was named best Accessory Designer. Meanwhile, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley won Best Model and Peter Pilotto won the New Designer award. Christopher Kane took the prize for British Designer and the H&M Style Visionary Award went to Viktor & Rolf. The evening's Outstanding Achievement Award was awarded to milliner Stephen Jones.

This looks like the result of a street-fair shopping montage in a rom-com, but she's giving it her all.

March 2009

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Owen Fisher Ltd/REX/Shutterstock (879356am) Thandie Newton Moet and Chandon: A tribute to cinema, London, Britain - 24 Mar 2009 Scarlett Johansson has been revealed as Moet and Chandon's celebrity spokesperson at a star-studded event last night. Her appointment was announced at the champagne's 'Tribute to Cinema' gala in London. Moët is the very first champagne House to introduce a Hollywood celebrity ambassador and Scarlett looked every inch the star in a black lace dress and hot red lipstick. Celebrating on the glamorous guest list included a host of British and international movie stars and socialites, including Thandie Newton, Joseph Fiennes and Eva Herzigova. The celebrity attendees were invited to autograph a Moet and Chandon Nebuchadnezzar to be auctioned off in support of Scarlett's charity of choice - international aid agency Oxfam and its climate change work.

What does it say for my Rorschach score if my answer to the ink blot is, "I see a Rorschach test"?

July 2009

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/REX/Shutterstock (7528346jo) Serpentine Gallery Summer Party 2009 Kensington Gardens Thandie Newton Serpentine Gallery Summer Party 2009, Kensington Gardens - 09 Jul 2009

I love this, but I fear the shoes. She REALLY does love a lot of ankle business.

Sept 2009 in Armani

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Piers Allardyce/REX/Shutterstock (1267488n) Thandie Newton Giorgio Armani party, London, Britain - 08 Sep 2009 Audi provides cars for Giorgio Armani store party, New Bond Street

Thandie Newton just sat bolt upright in bed, a cold sweat leaking from her pores. "They found it," she whispers to the room, as the air turns clammy. "They know."

Nov 2009

AND JUST LIKE THAT, all is forgotten.

Nov 2009

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (1041813al) Thandie Newton Solange Azagury-Partridge Stoned Jewellery Collection and Premier of 'The Letter', Home House, London, Britain - 20 Nov 2009

This was a party for the jewelry collection, so it's a real shame she distracted from the necklace with this rousing game of Tie My Knees Together And See If I Can Make It To The Bar And Back Without Spilling.

May 2010 in Vivienne Westwood

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (1177264go) Thandie Newton Costume Institute Gala Benefit 'American Woman: Fashioning a National Identity', Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, America - 03 May 2010

That's an amazing fabric that I wish had been tortured slightly less.

May 2010 in Louis Vuitton

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jonathan Hordle/REX/Shutterstock (1186406i) Thandie Newton Louis Vuitton Maison London opening, London, Britain - 25 May 2010

She looks as if a very expensive snake mistook her for giant popcorn, and opened wide for a bite.

May 2010

Those are some ENORMOUS pockets. Did she have to bring her own lawn chair?!?

Dec 2010 in Peter Pilotto

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Daniel Deme/EPA/REX/Shutterstock (7617297ag) British Actress Thandie Newton Arrives at the British Fashion Awards Held at the Savoy Hotel in Central London Britain 07 December 2010 the British Fashion Awards 2010 Recognise the Most Influential People in Fashion Today and Celebrate the Reputation and Development of British Fashion United Kingdom London Britain Fashion - Dec 2010

Is that... really the best he could offer on UK fashion's biggest night?

Jan 2011

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (1274696ae) Thandie Newton InStyle Best of British Talent BAFTA party in association with Lancome, Shoreditch House, London, Britain - 25 Jan 2011 SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL 1227413i AND TERESA PALMER

Congratulations to Thandie for receiving her black belt in the art of tunics.

Feb 2011 in Monique Lhiillier

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (1280175fp) Thandie Newton The Orange British Academy Film Awards, Arrivals, Royal Opera House, London, Britain - 13 Feb 2011

That is gorgeous. As with many Lhuilliers, it feels familiar -- like this is her take on Thandie's own Vivienne Westwood Met Gala gown -- but it's certainly pretty.

Feb 2011 in Louis Vuitton

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (1280645fd) Thandie Newton Elle Style Awards, London, Britain - 14 Feb 2011 SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL 1231006k

That's intriguing, and also SO very different than anything we'd see from LV today, I feel.

March 2011

"Admit it, darling. This would look FABULOUS on a chaise in my dressing room."

May 2011 - Met Gala, in Stella

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (1311021js) Thandie Newton Costume Institute Gala Benefit, Celebrating 'Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty' at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, America - 02 May 2011

Mmm hmm

Oct 2011

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/REX/Shutterstock (7527812k) 'Death and the Maiden' Press Night Afterparty at Mint Leaf Haymarket Thandie Newton 'Death and the Maiden' Press Night at the Harold Pinter Theatre, Patton Street and Afterparty at Mint Leaf, Haymarket - 24 Oct 2011

This is better than it should be, given that it looks assembled on a dare.

Feb 2012

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (1581664cw) Thandie Newton Laureus World Sports Awards, Arrivals, London, Britain - 06 Feb 2012

That's painfully chic.

Jan 2013 in Temperley

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (2063293cn) Thandie Newton BAFTA LA Tea Party, Los Angeles, America - 12 Jan 2013 WEARING TEMPERLEY

That's just painful.

Jan 2013 in Giles Deacon

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (2063332da) Thandie Newton 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, America - 13 Jan 2013

And then GOOD GRIEF. The concerned employee's face in the background says it all.

Feb 2013 in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Can Nguyen/REX/Shutterstock (2132406q) Thandie Newton Charles Finch and Chanel Pre-BAFTA Dinner, Annabel's, London, Britain - 09 Feb 2013

This looks cute enough with the coat on, but I am HEAVILY CONCERNED about what that top is doing under there.

Feb 2013 in Louis Vuitton

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (2132433id) Thandie Newton EE British Academy Film Awards, Arrivals, Royal Opera House, London, Britain - 10 Feb 2013 WEARING LOUIS VUITTON

Her head here is as dreamy as can be, which is apropos, given that this is sleepwear.

March 2013 in vintage

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Greg Pace/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (2215222w) Thandie Newton 'Rogue' TV show premiere, New York, America - 21 Mar 2013 Thandie Newton, wearing a vintage dress and a Zac Posen jacket

That's loud and fun, and I appreciate it.

March 2013

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (2226678aj) Thandie Newton 'Rogue' TV Programme premiere, Los Angeles, America - 26 Mar 2013

This is all great, but I'd love to swap in some more fun accessories.

April 2013

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (2243459o) Queen Elizabeth II meets Thandie Newton Reception for the British Film Industry, Windsor Castle, Berkshire, Britain - 04 Apr 2013 Queen Elizabeth II received an honorary Bafta in recognition of a lifetime's support of British film and television - and for being the most "memorable Bond girl yet"

This was at a BAFTA event honoring The Queen, joking that she was "the most memorable Bond girl yet," referencing her appearance at the Olympics opening ceremony with Daniel Craig. I assume here she and Thandie are having a conversation about giant wedges, vis a vis Kate's old Corkswoons.

May 2013 in Stella

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Hannah Young/REX/Shutterstock (2372998c) Thandie Newton Jimmy Choo 'The Season' pre-fall collection private dinner, London, Britain - 22 May 2013 WEARING STELLA MCCARTNEY

Meh. This reminds me faintly of the aesthetic of The Vampire's Wife, though.

June 2013 in Erdem

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (2588033a) Thandie Newton Jimmy Choo and Esquire Party at London Collections 2013, London, Britain - 16 Jun 2013 WEARING ERDEM SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL 1856836o

WHAT is that bodice? This is why I don't usually like Erdem: lovely fabrics, hard done by.

July 2013

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Dan Wooller/REX/Shutterstock (2657082ai) Thandie Newton and Ol Parker 'A Season in the Congo' play press night after party, London, Britain - 16 Jul 2013

This is her spouse, Ol Parker, who wrote Mamma Mia 2 (for which he ought to be knighted)(not joking), and to whom she's been married THIS WHOLE SLIDESHOW. Almost. (They wed in 1998.) And she loves him even though he is sadly underdressed here. Perhaps she knows that none of her pieces go together, so she's cutting him some slack.

Sept 2013 in Stella

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (3008025b) Thandie Newton 'Half Of A Yellow Sun' film premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival, Canada - 08 Sep 2013 WEARING STELLA MCCARTNEY

Hey, a halfway reasonable Stella! I'll take it.

April 2014 in Osman

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Coke/REX/Shutterstock (3687509o) Thandie Newton 'Half of a Yellow Sun' film premiere, London, Britain - 08 Apr 2014 WEARING OSMAN

"My vagina oculata is WATCHING YOU."

May 2014

Oh, Thandie. I know it was early, for a morning show apperance, but you look like you wore half of this outfit last night and forgot to pack an alternative.

July 2014 in Eki Orleans

Editorial use only Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jabpromotions/REX/Shutterstock (3978003bt) Thandie Newton Audi International Polo, Guards Polo Club, Windsor, Britain - 26 Jul 2014 WEARING EKI ORLEANS

She looks perfectly nice in this, but also as if the dress shrank when she tried to steam it.

Sept 2014

Editorial use only Mandatory Credit: Photo by Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock (4107701l) Thandie Newton 'Lorraine Live' TV Programme, London, Britain. - 22 Sep 2014

Drink in the loveliness.

Feb 2015

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9052706am) Thandie Newton attends NBC's "The Slap" miniseries premiere party at the New Museum, in New York NBC's "The Slap" Miniseries Premiere Party, New York, USA

I COMPLETELY forgot this show existed -- it's the one where a dude impulsively slaps another couple's kid at a neighborhood barbecue, or something -- and... wow. I never did watch it. I LOVE this dress, but for the midriff, which is cut to look like her body is opening its mouth. It would've been better as a sheath.

Feb 2015

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Joel Ryan/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9086215ah) Actress Thandie Newton arrives for the World Premiere of The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel at a central London cinema in Leicester Square Britain The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel World Premiere, London, United Kingdom

I'm not sure if her hips need buttons.

Feb 2015

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9192576bo) Thandie Newton arrives at the 2015 Vanity Fair Oscar Party, in Beverly Hills, Calif 87th Academy Awards - Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Beverly Hills, USA - 22 Feb 2015

I don't have a dress credit on this, which is sad, because she looks ravishing in it.

April 2015

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Zelig Shaul/Ace Pictures/REX/Shutterstock (4705769b) Thandie Newton Thandie Newton out and about, New York, America - 23 Apr 2015

I would love to be this interesting when I'm just wandering around going about my business.

May 2015

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jim Smeal/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (4760829x) Thandie Newton 'Mad Max: Fury Road' film premiere, Los Angeles, America - 07 May 2015

Well, I like the bodice? I wish it were ALL made of that liquid-look fabric.

Sept 2015

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chelsea Lauren/Variety/REX/Shutterstock (5073839fi) Thandie Newton, Booker Jombe Parker L.A Loves Alex's Lemonade, Los Angeles, America - 12 Sep 2015

THAT NOODLE.

Oct 2015

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9192067ab) Thandie Newton arrives at the Variety Power of Women luncheon at the Beverly Wilshire hotel, in Beverly Hills, Calif 2015 Variety Power of Women, Beverly Hills, USA - 9 Oct 2015

Sure! The colors are unique together.

Jan 2016

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Anthony Harvey/REX/Shutterstock (9437983v) Thandie Newton 'Creed' - European Premiere - Red Carpet Arrivals, London, United Kingdom - 12 Jan 2016

Those look like her QE2 wedges from a couple years/slides ago (maybe both, depending on how long it's taken you to get through this post). They are too clunky with this, I think.

Feb 2016

This DOES make it easier to collapse into bed at the end of the night.

April 2016

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (5623865h) Thandie Newton with Ol Parker, Ripley Parker and Nico Parker The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opening at Universal Studios, Los Angeles, America - 05 Apr 2016 Thandie Newton with husband Ol Parker and children.

That vintage-look blouse! I would LOVE to pull off that whole thing with her ease.

July 2016 in Duro Olowu

Mandatory Credit: Photo by James Shaw/REX/Shutterstock (5746840cs) Thandie Newton The Serpentine Gallery Summer Party, London, UK - 06 Jul 2016 WEARING DURO OLOWU

Hmmmm. Would this have been better if it were cocktail-length?

Sept 2016 in Duro Olowu

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (6035107cr) Thandie Newton 'Westworld' HBO TV series premiere, Los Angeles, USA - 28 Sep 2016 WEARING DURO OLOWU

And NOW things are exploding. From what I recall of the few bits I saw and did not particularly like, Westworld is not a very chipper show, so perhaps she was trying to compensate at the premiere with a LOT OF CHEER.

November 2016

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Ccn/REX/Shutterstock (7431190ao) Thandie Newton 'Miss Sloane' film premiere, AFI Fest, Los Angeles, USA - 11 Nov 2016

Is this secretly pants, and separates?

Jan 2017 in Monse

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (7734773eu) Thandie Newton 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 08 Jan 2017 WEARING MONSE

PRAISE BE! A MONSE WE LIKED!

Jan 2017 in Monse

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Andrew H Walker/REX/Shutterstock (7746791bo) Thandie Newton BAFTA Tea Party, Los Angeles, USA - 07 Jan 2017 WEARING MONSE

And, a Monse we liked less.

Jan 2017 in Schiaparelli

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (7973446h) Thandie Newton in the front row Schiaparelli show, Spring Summer 2017, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 23 Jan 2017

"And then when the waiter comes to clear my tray, I will cause a distraction, which will allow the jewel thieves to escape undetected. It will be the perfect plan, as long as Princess Anne doesn't attend."

Jan 2017 in Altuzarra

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Gilbert Flores/Variety/REX/Shutterstock (8137072bb) Thandie Newton Variety Awards Nominees Brunch presented by Karma, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 28 Jan 2017 WEARING ALTUZARRA

I want to applaud the bold pattern-mixing, but it just looks like a pile of forgotten Laura Ashley.

Jan 2017 in Marc Jacobs

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9241552ba) Thandie Newton arrives at the 28th Annual Producers Guild Awards at the Beverly Hilton, in Beverly Hills, Calif 28th Annual Producers Guild Awards - Red Carpet, Beverly Hills, USA - 28 Jan 2017

"Why, yes. Yes I DO think Marc ate glitter before he made this."

Jan 2017 in Schiaparelli

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9242025yx) Thandie Newton arrives at the 23rd annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at the Shrine Auditorium & Expo Hall, in Los Angeles The 23rd Annual SAG Awards - Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

That's fabulous.

Feb 2017 in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nils Jorgensen/REX/Shutterstock (8344294m) Thandie Newton Charles Finch hosts 18th annual private pre-BAFTAs dinner, Annabel's, London,UK - 11 Feb 2017 PR guru Charles Finch hosts his fabled 18th annual private pre-BAFTAs dinner, co-hosted with his French fashion house client, at AnnabelÕs, London WEARING CHANEL SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *5673696bk

So is THAT. Bravo, Karl.

Feb 2017 in Osman

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (8343346de) Thandie Newton EE BAFTA British Academy Film Awards, Press Room, Royal Albert Hall, London, UK - 12 Feb 2017 WEARING OSMAN

I guess even Thandie Newton has a Morticia Addams moment.

Feb 2017 in Erdem

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (8373636dx) Thandie Newton Elle Style Awards, London, UK - 13 Feb 2017 WEARING ERDEM

This isn't that similar to the Monse we just saw her in, but the fact that I paged backwards to check goes to show that it was too close for comfort.

Feb 2017 in Erdem

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Laurent Benhamou/Sipa/REX/Shutterstock (8415989d) Thandie Newton Erdem show, Arrivals, Autumn Winter 2017, London Fashion Week, UK - 20 Feb 2017

She REALLY loves Erdem, and Erdem does not love her back.

Feb 2017 in Schiaparelli

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (8435009aw) Thandie Newton Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Los Angeles, USA - 26 Feb 2017 WEARING SCHIAPARELLI SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *5744576y

WHY IS THIS NOT LINED.

March 2017 in Erdem

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (8553606x) Thandie Newton 'Westworld' presentation, Arrivals, Paleyfest, Los Angeles, USA - 25 Mar 2017 PaleyFest LA 2017 - Westworld WEARING ERDEM

I am pretty sure someone, somewhere, owns an iPhone case matching that skirt.

May 2017 Met Gala in Monse

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 01: Thandie Newton attends the "Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala at Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 1, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images For Entertainment Weekly)

This was suitably dramatic for the Met.

May 2017 in Vivienne Westwood

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (8819358fz) Thandie Newton Virgin TV British Academy Television Awards 2017, Press Room, Royal Festival Hall, London, UK - 14 May 2017

Vivienne is usually better with bustlines than this.

Sept 2017 in Jason Wu

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (9064810nm) Thandie Newton 69th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2017 WEARING CUSTOM JASON WU

This, however, is spectacular.

April 2018 in Osman

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jim Smeal/REX/Shutterstock (9634444ap) Thandie Newton 'Westworld' TV show premiere, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Apr 2018 WEARING OSMAN SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *9412281ae

My head hurts.

May 2018 in Dior

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/BEI/REX/Shutterstock (9667808dw) Thandie Newton 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' film premiere, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 10 May 2018

MY SOUL HURTS.

May 2018 in Richard Quinn

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jonathan Hordle/BAFTA/REX/Shutterstock (9670136bh) Thandie Newton British Academy Television Awards, Arrivals, Royal Festival Hall, London, UK - 13 May 2018 WEARING RICHARD QUINN SAME OUTFIT AS ADWOA ABOAH ON THE CATWALK *9420181aj

I wish she'd put more of an orangey color on her lips -- not a ton, but just to play a little. That gown is fun.

May 2018 in Valentino

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (9671862ab) Thandie Newton 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' photocall, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 15 May 2018 WEARING VALENTINO SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *9444498o

I like this jumpsuit as much as I'm going to like one EVER. I also completely forgot this movie existed, and I saw it in the theatre, so THAT'S not great.

May 2018 in Vivienne Westwood

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9672308me) Thandie Newton 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' premiere, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 15 May 2018 WEARING VIVIENNE WESTWOOD

That does indeed depict Star Wars figures. It's fantastic.

May 2018

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Gustavo Caballero/South Beach Photo/REX/Shutterstock (9672144p) Thandie Newton visits Univision studios to promote Solo: A Stars Wars Story 'Despierta America' TV show, Miami, USA - 14 May 2018

Those shoes were an unexpected jolt.

May 2018

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Ash Knotek/REX/Shutterstock (9682900u) Thandie Newton and Chewbacca 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' film photocall, Trafalgar Hotel, London, UK - 18 May 2018

Apparently one CAN sweet-talk a Wookiee.

May 2018 in Prada shirt, Herrera skirt

Editorial use only. Exclusive - Premium Rates Apply. Call your Account Manager for pricing. Mandatory Credit: Photo by Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock (9691101ck) Thandie Newton 'This Morning' TV show, London, UK - 23 May 2018 WEARING PRADA SHIRT AND CAROLINA HERRERA SKIRT SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *9374037m AND CARA BUONO

Casually devastating.

May 2018 in Rodarte

Mandatory Credit: Photo by James Gourley/REX/Shutterstock (9691651b) Thandie Newton 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' Screening, BFI Southbank, London, UK - 23 May 2018 WEARING RODARTE

That might be more tragically devastating. Although it's not WOEFUL or anything; it's just overdone for my taste.

July 2018 in Michael Kors

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (9762874aq) Thandie Newton 'Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again' film premiere, Arrivals, London, UK - 16 Jul 2018 WEARING MICHAEL KORS SAME OUTFIT AS BELLA HADID *9375924c

It seems weird to me that the ladies on her dress are all wearing red lipstick, and she is not.

Aug 2018 in The Vampire's Wife

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (9796849bf) Thandie Newton 'Yardie' film premiere, London, UK - 21 Aug 2018 WEARING THE VAMPIRES WIFE

In the older slides there were times I REALLY wished for better shoes, and now she's deploying crazy shoes all the time in places that don't necessarily need them.

Sept 2018

Mandatory Credit: Photo by WARREN TODA/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock (9878914h) English actress and cast member Thandie Newton arrives for the screening of the movie 'The Death and Life of John F. Donovan' during the 43rd annual Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) in Toronto, Canada, 10 September 2018. The Death and Life of John F. Donovan - Premiere - 43rd Toronto Film Festival, Canada - 10 Sep 2018

HER FACE THOUGH.

Sept 2018

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9883151j) Thandie Newton 2018 Primetime Emmy Awards - Audi Pre Party, West Hollywood, USA - 14 Sep 2018

I want to love this, so very much, but the jacket seems too long and the pants too short.

Sept 2018

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock (9883657z) Thandie Newton BAFTA TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018

This person looks like she would smell like a lemon drop cocktail and ask you really gentle questions about your life that make you THINK, and at the end take your hand and say something really meaningful that you repeat later to all your friends and then sigh, "I guess you had to hear it."

Sept 2018 in Brandon Maxwell

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (9883797cs) Thandie Newton - Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series - 'Westworld' 70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Press Room, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018 WEARING BRANDON MAXWELL SAME OUTFIT AS GIGI HADID ON THE CATWALK *9877071c

Glorious.

Sept 2018 in Oscar de la Renta

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9883929ai) Thandie Newton Variety and Women in Film Pre-Emmy Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018 Variety Women in Film WEARING OSCAR DE LA RENTA SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *9878878af

I am not into the hip ponytails, as you know.

Oct 2018 in Vuitton

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9908242ar) Thandie Newton in the front row Louis Vuitton show, Front Row, Spring Summer 2019, Paris Fashion Week, France - 02 Oct 2018

It says a LOT for Thandie that she managed to make this Vuitton ensemble look less absurd.

Oct 2018

, New York, NY - 20181009-Liyana Cast Visiting Build Series -PICTURED: Thandie Newton -PHOTO by: DARA KUSHNER/INSTARimages.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

We finish with a few other high degrees of difficulty INDEED, beginning here, with this dress that I find so profoundly charming.

Nov 2018 in Schiaparelli

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chelsea Lauren/Variety/REX/Shutterstock (9960459dl) Thandie Newton Breakthrough Prize, Arrivals, NASA Ames Research Center, Mountain View, USA - 04 Nov 2018

I have no idea what this is, but she wore it to celebrate something called The Breakthrough Prize at NASA, so let's assume it's a SCIENCE dress.

Dec 2018 in Michael Kors

North America Rights Only - Paris, France -20181213- OCS 10 Year Anniversary Party arrivals. -PICTURED: Thandie Newton -PHOTO by: INSTARimages.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

And that is the kind of thing that leads one to purchasing a spur of the moment ticket to Hawaii for the holidays. I haven't done it, though. YET.