An ovum carried on a litter arrived at the Grammys, and everyone was told Lady Gaga was inside. SOMEONE was inside, for sure. Can I say definitively it was Lady Gaga? No. And honestly, that would be the real pro move here -- hire someone else to impersonate you in your ovum. Because...
... this is the most we could see. That could as easily have been me in a blond wig and some glasses. And what's more...
... when she finally burst out of the egg, she was in a different outfit. So either she went in, got out, changed, and got back in, or she... wait for it... EXCHANGED HERSELF.
Steve Sanders knows what I'm talking about.
Katy Perry
Imagine being Katy Perry, thinking that wearing very tiny angel wins would be the weirdest thing anyone did at the Grammys, and then showing up to find out that a pod alleging to be Lady Gaga had arrived on a stretcher. It would certainly take some wind out from beneath your wings.
By the way, said wings are here. They had not yet grown to their full size.
Katy brought her grandmother, and got her a jewelled cane. When I need a cane, this is absolutely how I plan to roll.
Nicole Kidman
I love this, and I'm sure some of that is because I am being seduced by her hair color.
Kim Kardashian
She looks fine, and also as if she'd love it if someone compared her to J.Lo. Also, seeing this made me realize we should be grateful that Kim Kardashian never decided she should become a singer. Honestly for a while there it felt like everyone decided they had a hit song in them. Then for a while it was, publish a YA novel that was most likely ghost-written, and then some kind of wellness book. Now it's that everyone should write a memoir. I don't personally think everyone should do any of those things. If I wrote a memoir, it would sell one copy, and it would be the one I bought just to see how quickly it was delivered.
Rihanna
"Okay, Rihanna, go with us here.. it's Venetian blinds... but SANTA."
This is much cooler. Or hotter, I guess, since it's a flame motif.
Monica
Would this be better as a v-neck? That line across her collarbone is harsh.
Hayley Williams
Convince me she didn't buy this in one of those year-round Halloween superstores.
Ricky Martin
I feel like he ran out of steam on this concept.
Ciara
This was such a promising start...
And not AWFUL from the front, but very busy. And absolutely the wrong shoes.
Eva Longoria
It's a beautiful funeral wreath.
Gwyneth
Ah, yes, this is back when everyone wanted to make Gwyneth-as-singer a thing. Here she's performing "F*ck You" with Cee-Lo (I believe she sang a version on Glee). I wish the Muppets hadn't been pulled into this.
Jennifer Hudson
Her poor boobs.
Julianne Hough
Is this a career best?!?
Miley
Today, the role of Lauren Conrad is being played by Miley Cyrus.
Selena Gomez
This might ALSO be a career best.
Cyndi Lauper
This is... not.
Heidi and Seal
I should like this, but... does it feel like Heidi is in costume as Sharon Stone?
John Mayer
He was working a real J.V. Johnny Depp look here, which was a choice.
Jordan Sparks
This has an ABS by Allen Schwartz vibe.
Florence Welch
Those swans are looking down at themselves and going, "What IS this?"
Florence Welch
Unfortunately, they are on fire.
Jenna Ushkowitz
Dress by Hallmark.
Dianna Agron
That's fairly lifeless.
Naya Rivera
R.I.P.
Amber Riley
This dress looks like it's summoning the power of lightning to do something SERIOUSLY cool.
Kevin McHale
A HARNESS? Back in 2011? WHY DIDN'T WE STOP BEFORE IT CAME AGAIN?
J.Lo and Mark Anthony
Yes but can Mark see a reflection in it?!?
Justin Bieber
Aw, he tried. I mean that! This doesn't fit, and it's cream-and-white -- my least favorite -- but this is an actual attempt at formalwear, rather than track pants, and I appreciate that.
Lea Michele
This was during her aggressive posing phase.
Natasha Bedingfield
Interesting start, but do we think the rest is still unwritten?
Nicki Minaj
I was not, as it turns out, kidding about Feline Elvira.