The ACMs Telecast 2018

Reba

Reba wore a white fringey dress on the red carpet that I don't think was very flattering. I will accept THIS white fringe on her, always. Be Country, Reba. Please. Always.

I don't know the order in which she wore things, but I suspect this was first, because it kind of looks like she's applauding an audience that's applauding her. (She also opened with a joke about how she's replacing the two male hosts because it only took them this long to realize a woman can do the job of two men, which, GO REBA.) I think she looks quite marvelous.

Reba

And I LOVE this.

Reba

Yes, Reba. I WILL behold your sleeves. I will GLADLY and GRATEFULLY behold the hell out of your sleeves.

Reba

And then Reba and Kelly Clarkson sang "Does He Love You?" together, which has always been one of my favorite Reba joints. The video is so good! The ending is SO DYNASTY, and I love an angsty duet (it's one reason I will always like the musical Chess; "I Know Him So Well" is the first song I ever heard from it, because it charted in the UK. Back then musical songs DID actually make Top of the Pops and have videos). I freaked over this until I Googled this and realized it's happened two other times on TV, and I think Reba also sang it with Carrie Underwood once.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rtgwinn/mediapunch/REX/Shutterstock (9157458a) Reba Mcentire Cma Awards 1993 Nashville Tn Mcentire_bg

And here is the 1993 dress, from when she sang it with Linda Davis on the CMAs. It seemed more cleavage-y back then, so I wonder if Reba reworked the top to be more supportive.

2018 Academy of Country Music Awards Press Room at MGM Grand Garden Arena Featuring: Reba McEntire Where: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States When: 15 Apr 2018 Credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com

I seriously love Reba. I have always been super drawn to her as a person, and I loved her GIGANTIC RED HAIR back in her heyday -- but wait, every day is a Reba McEntire heyday, isn't it?!? Yes. I just want her to be as cool as I imagine, and also maybe to real-talk the world into fixing all its shit. She could do it.

Blake Shelton

I have never found Blake Shelton to be the magnetic stage presence, or talent, that he (and the industry) seems to think he is.

Miranda Lambert

There's something delightful to me about Miranda having to jam her third trophy under her armpit. She wins these things so regularly that I assume they just engrave a couple ahead of time. And I like this little outfit...

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9630042u) Miranda Lambert accepts the award for song of the year for "Tin Man" at the 53rd annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas 53rd Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Show, Las Vegas, USA - 15 Apr 2018

... much better than this one, which she wore for her on-stage portion of the spoken tribute. Black is fine, but maybe LINGERIE black was not the move right then.

Lauren Alaina

It is rare to see a dress AND its knockoff on the same night.

Lauren Alaina with Kane Brown

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9630042ba) Kane Brown, Lauren Alaina. Kane Brown, left, and Lauren Alaina perform "What Ifs" at the 53rd annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas 53rd Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Show, Las Vegas, USA - 15 Apr 2018

These two sang a song called "What Ifs" together, and in case you're wondering, no, it's not about what would happen if they jumped off a boulder into the roiling sea below.

Lady Antebellum

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9630042ap) Charles Kelley, Hillary Scott, Dave Haywood. Charles Kelley, from left, Hillary Scott and Dave Haywood, of Lady Antebellum, perform "Heart Break" at the 53rd annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas 53rd Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Show, Las Vegas, USA - 15 Apr 2018

Left Antebellum looks kind of like he's auditioning for a Swingers musical.

Little Big Town

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9630041cc) Jimi Westbrook, Kimberly Schlapman, Karen Fairchild, Philip Sweet. Jimi Westbrook, from left, Kimberly Schlapman, Karen Fairchild and Philip Sweet, of Little Big Town, perform "Rocket Man" at the 53rd annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas 53rd Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Show, Las Vegas, USA - 15 Apr 2018

Any takers on why they paid tribute to Elton John's "Rocket Man"? I know Elton has a show in Vegas, or has done, but... if there was a running theme of country artists putting a spin on mainstream classics, then sure. This was confusing. Also puzzling: one of them being dressed as a yeti.

Maren Morris

Boob snakes are so sci-fi.

Kelsea Ballerini

Those are both cute, and, I fear, a glittering map of the pains of venereal disease.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9630041bp) Kelsea Ballerini performs "I Hate Love Songs" at the 53rd annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas 53rd Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Show, Las Vegas, USA - 15 Apr 2018

This seems SUPER on brand for her, though.

Keith Urban and Julia Michaels

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9630041bg) Keith Urban, Julia Michaels. Keith Urban, left, and Julia Michaels perform "Coming Home" at the 53rd annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas 53rd Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Show, Las Vegas, USA - 15 Apr 2018

Sure! She looks nice in that suit.

Carrie Underwood

Carrie's song is called "Cry Pretty," so she put glitter tears on her face, which is why THAT part of her looks different. Her taste in shoes and costumes is unchanged. She did cry during the performance, and I promise I am not trying to undermine how awful it must have been to fall down the stairs and break her wrist and cut her face. That REALLY sucks. But the whole Instagram breadcrumb trail thereafter is questionable to me.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9630041cq) Carrie Underwood accepts the award for vocal event of the year for "The Fighter" at the 53rd annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas 53rd Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Show, Las Vegas, USA - 15 Apr 2018

I keep thinking maybe her left eye looks a little different, but that's the part she NEVER hid; it was the rest of her face. So I suspect I'm just looking too hard. It's totally the same Carrie Underwood, right? I'm glad for her, but girl, it is weird to build a PR campaign around your medical trauma. Especially because for a lot of people it doesn't turn out this well.