The Best of Tyra Banks on ANTM: The Classic Years

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Don't ask me why the first few episodes look as if they were filmed using Barbara Walter's Special Forgiving Lens. ALSO don't ask me why Tyra is using the plastic strap used to hang her top from its hanger as an actual strap.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

THAT SKIRT IS JUST FRINGE!

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

And suddenly, HD exists! Just in time to see that Tyra is wearing something that is literally tied to her neck. Also, yes, this was during the period when she wore a necklace that said, "TY TY." She gave said necklace to the contestants because of course they want to wear her name on their person at all times.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

FYI: When you binge-watch ANTM, you will also find yourself saying, "is that her bra? Yes," like, A LOT.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This was NOT a costume. SHE'S JUST WEARING THIS. The early aughts were so weird, you guys.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This was apparently during a time where Tyra did not want to be able to move her arms AT ALL. (I think it's also possible she had fallen into a Lara Croft wormhole and was just feeling inspired.)

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

I just want this disembodied head of Tyra Banks to float into my bathroom every morning to chat with me while I curl my lashes.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This was her brief period of dressing like the girl on the Swiss Miss packages. God bless Tyra for NEVER being afraid to look totally goofy.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This season, by the way, was the one where she spent a lot of time wearing what I think was just fabric draped hither and yon.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

BRIEF JAY MANUEL BREAK. I needed other people to experience this Shirtless Dinner look. It's sort of...Aladdin-inspired?

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This is three loincloths tacked together.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

NEVER FORGET! (If you didn't watch ANTM, a primer: The girls were in a fight because some of them were terrible slobs in the kitchen. One of them raised the stakes by carving the words, "CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT" into a slob's pan of gluten-free brownies. YaYa here was neither the carver, nor the brownie-owner, but she was ENRAGED by the LACK OF RESPECT in this SHOCKING VIOLATION OF PASTRY, and communicated that via tee shirt.)

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Just a sidebar to note that Tyra looks great here. Tyra is really, really, really, really good-looking.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Even if she sometimes dresses like an extra from the Star Wars prequels.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

IN FAIRNESS, this was for a photoshoot.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This was the season Tyra wore a LOT of batwing sleves. (She was dating a gelato kingpin and I suspect she became slightly self-conscious about her upper arms. We've all been there.)

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

I love you, Tyra. (Here, she was demonstrating the difference between FIERCE and BRATTY. Also, yes, that is once again her bra.)

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Yes, that's a faux leopard shrug. What are YOU wearing?

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Remember the time that Tyra demonstrated how you can fake lip injections simply by rolling up a Post-It and sticking it under your upper lip? TRY IT!

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

I firmly stand by my theory that NO JUDGE was ever as good as Janice Dickinson, nor as crazy. (Nor, also, as mean -- but honest.)

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

If you are not around my age, you are probably not aware of the fact that this is EXACTLY what people would wear to go out in, circa, say, 2005.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

YES, that's a sequined shrug. It may also double as a bed jacket.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This is the season they visited South Africa -- the season Naima won, and Keenyah kept stress-eating and gained like ten pounds, which is noteworthy on a modeling show, and was amusing because she'd literally say things like, "I need to start eating better OOH ARE THOSE MINI-MUFFINS," which is ALSO a place in which I have found myself -- hence the super subtle and culturally sensitive set dressing.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Eventually, we move into a time where Jay, too, spends ALL HIS TIME looking insane. (That said, I also love Jay Manuel. He is so PUT UPON and it's always funny, and he works really hard.) Here, he looks like he's in a barbershop quartet sponsored by an ice cream shoppe.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

IN FAIRNESS, Miss J WAS making them walk in swimsuits, hence this ensemble.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This season -- the one Nicole won -- was one of Tyra's prettiest. Somewhere, I like to think that Diane Lockhart is procrastinating and reading this, and coveting that necklace.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Real talk: I ALSO owned this top and I STILL LOVE IT.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

I actually also owned this -- just kidding.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Tyra herself would agree that she wears bangs well (due to her large forehead HER WORDS NOT MINE).

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

...I don't know what's happening here.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

This, I assume, must have coincided with a re-read of The Great Gatsby.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

You are so pretty, Tyra. You could be a model.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Yes, yes, that's a ruffled striped belted knit top, but it's ALSO Rachel Zoe down at the non-Twiggy end of panel. She spent this entire episode wearing a jumpsuit, of course.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

All Business Tyra.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Tyra looks fine here -- well, I mean, she's wearing a towel, but it could be worse -- but I really wanted you to see what the girls are wearing. JADE. THOSE BOOTS. ARE INSANE.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

FYI, Tyra's vertical is actually really good.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Yet another subtle set-dressing.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

AMAZING.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

AMAZINGER.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

The longer you watch ANTM, the easier it is for you to trace Tyra's evolution from Really Smart Model Business Woman Mentor into...well, all of that still, somewhere, just buried under a HUGE pile of Hammy Shenanigans.

The Best of Tyra on ANTM

Here, for example, Tyra BURST onto set, acting like a diva (as a teaching moment). It was CORNBALL. But also I laughed and thought it was kind of great.