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Rihanna

Rihanna

For the record, I am pretty sure the bottom of her dress did not actually look like it had recently caught fire -- I think it's a trick of the camera flash and lighting and whatnot. Although flames licking up her feet would be theatrically apt, given that video she did with Eminem.

Rihanna

Rihanna

This is how I plan to enter rooms from now until the end of my days. First I will wind up thusly...

Rihanna

Rihanna

... and then, I will deliver the pitch. Although mine will not involve quite so much crotch.

Rihanna

Rihanna

Speaking of crotches...

Rihanna

Rihanna

RIHANNA. I said "SPEAKING OF" of crotches, not "PEEKING AT" crotches. And the word crotch has now officially done that thing where I've typed it too much and it's lost all meaning. Don't you think it's one of those words that sounds EXACTLY like what it is, though? Like, what else could "crotch" mean? It just doesn't work any other way.

The BRIT Awards Fug: Rihanna
Between yesterday's Rihanna slideshow and this one, it may seem like GFY is suddenly the Rihanna Channel. Not our intention. The girl just keeps going outside. She is relentless. Or just restless. Either way, she is replete with the joys of sartorial wackitude. This dress bedecked with roses, from which her chest is, er, blossoming, is relatively inoffensive and kind of reminds me of the end of Ice Castles, where -- SPOILER ALERT for anyone who has just realized in the last thirty seconds that he or she has had a Ice Castles on VHS for 25 years and still really intends to watch it someday -- she's skating and she's blind (!) and nobody knew (!!) until now (!!!) because she needs help off the ice (!!!!) because of all the roses everyone threw for her performance (!!!!!). So I will always have fond thoughts of this. But, as ever, it's totally not the only thing RiRi wore (hence, the slideshow). See? RELENTLESS.

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