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Sienna Miller in The Row

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Actor Sienna Miller attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

This is so minimal that I don't even count it as clothes. You could tell me it was by Victoria's Secret and I would believe you. Whatever insane price tag The Row puts on that is ROBBERY. Also, I assume she was airlifted to the party so that her pants arrived intact.

Miranda Kerr in August Getty

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Model Miranda Kerr attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

This is effective in a minimalist way, but I do think the skirt needs to be longer than the jacket/cape.

Ashley Madekwe in Halston

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Actor Ashley Madekwe attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

She is REALLY having to work that left foot to get the shoe in the photo. I don't particularly like this garment, but high marks to Ashley for looking good in it anyway.

Kirsten Dunst

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Actor Kirsten Dunst attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Man, her head looks good, and she tied in the lip with a bright shoe. The shirt is a bit messy, but there is something Frenchy-chic about this that's working for me.

Haley Bennett in Prada

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Actress Haley Bennett attends Panthere De Cartier Party in LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

This must have looked nicer in person, or in motion. We will all forget it later today. Including Haley herself, possibly.

Dakota Johnson

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Actor Dakota Johnson attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

ALSO BORING, but she does look polished, as did Haley to be fair. There are worse fates, and her accessories are cute

Lily Collins

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Actor Lily Collins attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Another fantasticaly done head, with a dress that's too careless-looking for me. Both the hem AND the plunge can't look like they were cut by someone hopped up on Red Bull.

Dita von Teese

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Dita Von Teese attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Head is great, feet is great, outfit in between is wretched on her.

Julie Delpy

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Actor Julie Delpy attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

I feel like she wore this to volunteer in a nursing home, and then just decided to go straight to this party.

Poppy Delevingne in Roberto Cavalli

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Model Poppy Delevingne attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

I don't care how nice your abs are. They are not a shirt.

Marilyn Manson

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Musician Marilyn Manson attends Panthere De Cartier Party In LA at Milk Studios on May 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

And then Marilyn Manson showed up, and every ouija board in a ten-mile radius experienced a tremor. That said: I like his suit, and it might be the most interesting outfit here. WHO KNEW.

The Panthere de Cartier Party Was (Mostly) Allergic To Patterns
With at least one unlikely guest in attendance. CLIFFHANGER!

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