Rita Ora at Disney's "Descendants: Wicked Wonderland" Premiere held at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on July 14, 2026 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Earl Gibson III/Deadline via Getty Images)
This is a showgirl renewing her vows in Vegas before a performance.
Brandy
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 14: Brandy Norwood attends the premiere of Disney Channel Original Movie "Descendants: Wicked Wonderland" at Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on July 14, 2026 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)
Well, I like the cape? I do not love the Daenarys Targaryen cranial aesthetic.
Awkwafina
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 14: Awkwafina attends the premiere of Disney Channel Original Movie "Descendants: Wicked Wonderland" at Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on July 14, 2026 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)
Apparently she plays the Cheshire Cat, in... some form? I don't know if it's CAT form or like... a human... with... a big smile? I feel like her dress is frowning at me.
Malia Baker
Malia Baker at Disney's "Descendants: Wicked Wonderland" Premiere held at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on July 14, 2026 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Earl Gibson III/Deadline via Getty Images)
I kind of like this, actually? The workmanship on the top is very intricate. But like my fridge doors, it needs to be leveled across the top.
Kylie Cantrall
Kylie Cantrall at Disney's "Descendants: Wicked Wonderland" Premiere held at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on July 14, 2026 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images)
She plays Red, and so of course she's always wearing red at these things. This is resplendently bad. She appears to have one removable glove with a talon on the end of it. That whole top is a Lewis Carroll hallucination.
Kylie Cantrall and Liamani Segura
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JULY 08: Kylie Cantrall and Liamani Segura Visits the Empire State Building on July 08, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images for Empire State Realty Trust)
Apparently Red's younger sister is named, wait for it, Pink. And so she's wearing pink. Liamani looks quite cute; Kylie, as usual, has thrown several aesthetics into a blender. And then the motor broke.
Kylie Cantrall
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JULY 09: Kylie Cantrall is seen in Midtown on July 09, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by TheStewartofNY/GC Images)
And this is Red, via J.Lo's aughts wardrobe.
Kylie Cantrall
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JULY 10: Kylie Cantrall is seen in Midtown on July 10, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by TheStewartofNY/GC Images)
And here she is wearing a belt as a bra, and a jacket that may or may not have witnessed a murder.
Kylie Cantrall
NEW YORK, NY - JULY 08: Kylie Cantrall is seen at the "Live with Kelly and Mark" show on July 08, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by Jason Howard/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
I am also thoroughly confused by this, but at least it's INTERESTING?
Kylie Cantrall
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JULY 08: Kylie Cantrall is seen outside "Good Morning America" on July 08, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
This is how I imagine Lauren Sanchez showed up to the UPN affiliate every day in 2001 to read the news.
