Amber Stevens in La Perla

We begin with what I assume is La Perla's version of Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans: You don't know what you're getting until it's in play, and by then it's too late.

Sophia Bush in DVF

And then Diane Von Furstenberg ate some bad sushi.

Laura Marano in Thai Nguyen

"Thank you, Diane Von Furstenberg!" Laura thought. "Now I am guaranteed to be the best-dressed person in chartreuse!"

Kate Nash

That fabric is cool, but she looks like she's been working the luau for a major hotel chain for FOUR HOURS.

Saoirse in Esteban Cortezar

A brief pause for some creative kookery. I don't entirely understand it, but I am REALLY on board with it. 

Candice Accola

This is unbelievable. EVERY SINGLE PART OF HER DRESS wishes it could be a drawstring bag. And they're all fighting to see which one can achieve it first.

Stephanie Beatriz

Plastic shoes and a glorified blouse? PASS.

Camilla Luddington

And Camilla will be performing her free skate to a spoken-word poem about the 1980s hair accessories of Young Sarah Ferguson.

Dascha Polanco in Nina Ricci

Is Nina Ricci trying to drive itself out of business?

Crystal Reed in Dion Lee

"Wow, what a screaming satin pelvis" is not a sentence I want to write again.

Danielle Brooks

Exhale! This is mostly normal, although I want to clip that waist tie. It's too long. And also not actually tying anything, and thus unnecessary, and thus... let's just ditch it altogether

Erika Christensen

These look like footie pajamas. And WHAT is all that extra fabric in the purse region? is that a wrap? Attached to her sleeve? Is it THE MISSING SLEEVE?

Kimiko Glenn

It's pants and it's shiny and I don't think either part of this cares whether it fits her.

Sydelle Noel

She wore roughly this same color to the SAGs, and looked SUPER in it, and so this didn't stand a chance regardless. But just so we're clear: No.

Jackie Tohn

I am EVER SO SLIGHTLY into this insanity, though.

Jackie Cruz

Where is her top hat and cane?

Ashley Madekwe

People have GOT to stop having their pets orally tailor their hems.

Storm Reid in Philosophy

This was originally sheer all the way to the waist, so let's just be delighted someone adjusted that as much as they did. It's still a BIT Sorceress at the Junior Ren Faire, though.

Francia Raisa

Repeat after me: Pants don't need slits. Pants don't need slits. Pants don't need slits.

Sarah Hyland in Self-Portrait

First Candice Accola's gown wants to be a bag, and now Sarah Hyland's is hot to give itelf a ponytail. I fear these sentient self-altering gowns.

Marsai Martin in Coach

Marsai looks cute, but also VERY much like she hated everything she had in her closet and begged Yara Shahidi to lend her some stuff and style her. Which, good for her. Pick that brain. If I had Yara to ask, I would.

Danielle Panabaker in Altuzarra

It's such a shame that this dress has caught a pernicious fungus.

Taryn Manning and Mena Suvari

These two actually look fairly okay! Mena's dress might be cute, and Taryn is... trying something, and it's mostly lucid. The blue shoes and shiny, minty/aqua coat don't really get along, but not all colleagues do, so

Natalia Dyer in Carolina Herrera

This dress is ADORABLE and perhaps wasted on this party.

Emma Dumont

OH MY. AND THOSE SHOES. If she's in costume as That Thing You Wore To A Dance In Eighth Grade And Then Even 20 Years Later Your Parents Refused To Take The Photo Out Of A Frame And So You Burned It One Night, then she nailed it.

Emma Myles

This is a little too tight, but I'm rather into the shiny ombre.

Jamie Chung in Cushnie et Ochs

This looks like it COULD be a covert S&M device, but it's cute on her, so... live your life, Jamie.

Brittany Snow in Haney

I wonder if the Pitch Perfect crew traded a bunch of emails about how HARD they are all feeling thigh-high boots right now.

Madeline Brewer

Hem it and it's a delight.

Yael Stone

Is she as petite as she looks in this photo? Not that it matters. This looks like it was inspired by a blanket she bought at Babies R Us.

Logan Browning in Coach

Wait, why is Coach now trying to look like La Perla? LA PERLA IS NOT REAL CLOTHES EITHER.

Caleb McLaughlin

Still the most joyful and stylish dude.

Chris Lowell

Something about this message being stitched in gentle cursive cracks me up -- like his grandmother did it for him or something.

Skeet Ulrich

As usual, I am concerned Skeet hasn't slept in four days.

Deon Cole

That is a GREAT coat, sir.

Billy Brown

So, I was watching How To Get Away With Muuuuuurder on Thursday, and there was one scene where he opened the door shirtless for NO GOOD REASON other than the 12 sculpted ones that live under his torso skin. His chest is FOR REAL and that scene felt like the producers suddenly realized Nate hadn't been shirtless in far too long. It was the only laugh that show has ever given me that didn't involve Asher. Also: He looks just as good in clothes.

Marianna Palka

Friends don't let friends drink paint.

Holy Fugfest, Batman: This EW Party Is Scorching

I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'M SO SCARED.