Common

HELLO. Like I wasn't going to start off with Common. So elegant, so suave, so VELVET-Y.

DJ Khaled

If I were DJ Khaled -- or, indeed, many men -- I would have been less than thrilled to have landed myself in a Who Wore It Best scenario opposite Common, but truly I just wish his pants were more properly tailored.

Imagine Dragons

They look velvet-y, as well, but mostly I want to note that Third From The Left Dragon has a documentary at Sundance about Mormonism and the LGBTQ community (specifically gay Mormon teens), about which he spoke very sensitively to Giuliana, and I was very impressed. Good on you, Dragons!

Dram

Why don't we see more men in purple on the red carpet? 

Zayn Malik

This is pretty snazzy, honestly. Bonus points for the socks.

Camryn Howard

This blazer is GREAT.

60th Annual Grammy Awards, Arrivals, New York, USA - 28 Jan 2018

Likewise snazzy,

Rick Ross

This is VERY glamorous. Very Dynasty.

Fabolous

The blazer would make an amazing set of chairs in your formal dining room. (That's a compliment.)

Sam Smith

This is just not great. One of the women on the E! red carpet made a Jolly Green Giant joke and after I recovered from being STUNNED that they let one of them say something less than wholly positive, I agreed. (Erin Lim, in particular, was quite good, I thought.) Sam Smith is cuter than this!

Tyler the Creator

I cannot believe this was the one of the only hats of the evening!

Big Sean

This is very chic -- although I did have a moment where I thought he was wearing a man-jumpsuit.

James Corden

I understand that James Corden does not live in the world where he can wear a super zing-y blazer, but I think he felt even more square than usual this year. 

Trevor Noah

He looks great; I wish Corden had gone vaguely in this direction, too?

Ne-Yo

Told you there was a lot of velvet at this thing.

Jaden Smith

In which Jaden Smith just wandered over from his Sunday binge-watch of ANTM.

Nick Jonas

And Nick Jonas just throws on a coat and runs out to pick up a pack of cigs.

Brothers Osborne

These two DID NOT discuss their outfits before they left the house.

Sting and Shaggy

Neither, I suspect, did they.

Midland

I appreciate this commitment, you know?

Donald Glover

Sure! Although I don't know if I would have done a black shoe with this. (He also sounded great last night, I thought.)

Khalid

Is this veeeeeery nearly pink?

Chainsmokers

Ugh, whatever. Although, at least here I can complain to you about what I think EVERY TIME I hear that song they sing: How do you really STEAL A MATTRESS from a roommate? That takes balls AND logistics.

Gary Clark Jr.

Yet more velvet!

Shemar Moore

A bonus of the Grammys being on CBS is that Shemar Moore shows up.

The Intriguing Dudes of the 2018 Grammys

Prepare yourself for SO MUCH man velvet.