The Northman U.S. Premiere

Nicole Kidman in Prada

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Buchan/Shutterstock (12899988ai) Nicole Kidman 'The Northman' premiere, TCL Chinese Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA 18 Apr 2022

I know Prada is not new to feathers, but somehow, given current aesthetics, this feels to me like Nicole's camp wanted a Gucci but couldn't get one in time so Prada made a knockoff. And not a very good one. It looks like twin birds decided her arms were THE place to die.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Buchan/Shutterstock (12899988bb) Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban 'The Northman' premiere, TCL Chinese Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA 18 Apr 2022

Nicole also brought her Emotional Support Keith, which I say without a trace of mockery -- I've felt for a while, and it was reinforced while watching them on the SAGs red carpet, that one or the other of them gets really nervous on the red carpet, and that's why they hold onto each other in very specific ways. Yes, love matters, too, but there was something about the way one of them reached for the other (I can't remember which it was) that felt like, "You are my comfort, are you there? You are, phew."

Anya Taylor-Joy in Dior

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Buchan/Shutterstock (12899988bz) Anya Taylor-Joy 'The Northman' premiere, TCL Chinese Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA 18 Apr 2022

I'm glad to see her in something not costumey. Although I guess you could argue that this is the maturation of the microshift she wore at the UK event. I like this SO much better. That one was basically a gilded gynecological drape.

Anya TJ

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Buchan/Shutterstock (12899988bw) Anya Taylor-Joy 'The Northman' premiere, TCL Chinese Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA 18 Apr 2022

She's working a Mother of Dragons vibe here. Like, Mother of Mother of Dragons, or something. Get her in the prequel, folks.

A Skars

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Buchan/Shutterstock (12899988bg) Alexander Skarsgard 'The Northman' premiere, TCL Chinese Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA 18 Apr 2022

Of COURSE he's in a Viking revenge movie. You could not cast anyone else to do this.

Willem Dafoe

And he seems exactly the right kind of intense for this.

Robert Eggers and Alexandra Shaker

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Buchan/Shutterstock (12899988dm) Robert Eggers and wife Alexandra Shaker 'The Northman' premiere, TCL Chinese Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA 18 Apr 2022

He's the director, and he's here because HER dress really interests me and I kind of wish we'd seen it on one of the leads. Maybe Anya could swap with Nicole and then trade for this, which... would not be a great ending for Alexandra, frankly, so never mind.

Taran Killam

I was SO excited when I thought Taran Killam had landed in a Viking revenge movie, but he isn't in it. I am not entirely sure why he's there, unless he just felt a burning need to trot out his beard in a place that might appreciate it. That would be a GREAT Viking revenge beard.

Jeff Goldblum and Emilie Livingston

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Buchan/Shutterstock (12899988f) Jeff Goldblum and wife Emilie Livingston 'The Northman' premiere, TCL Chinese Theater, Los Angeles, CA, USA 18 Apr 2022

Jeff always looks like he's ten seconds away from snapping his fingers and scatting.