September 2006
Is it a loincloth? A plaid diaper? Is she wearing ANYTHING protective underneath it? Did she make it herself? ARE THERE OTHERS OUT THERE?
April 2007
This was the apex of our national High-Waisted Jeans Catastrophe.
May 2007
I am not a huge fan of heavy white satin, and the beadwork looks like a cluster of roaches. It could have been fine, and it's not A GROIN TOURNIQUET OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!, but meh. And her boob is giving it the heave.
May 2007
Dress, fine; hair, styled by a convertible?
May 2007
She's now 21, or thereabouts, and yet again she's picked something black and white that's too old for her. And which I don't think she can carry. That's Joan Collins level of diva.
May 2007
The back is cool, but it also looks like mischief -- like someone hugged her so that she couldn't see their hands, while they sprinkled POISON.
April 2008
All this makes me think of is the Chevy Chase movie Vacation, where he gets stuck owning a Family Truckster in Metallic Pee.
April 2008
I hated this at the time, but now i find it amusing.
May 2008
However, I stand by how much I disliked this. It is AWFUL and not even in the same time zone as "properly fit."
June 2008
Seriously, did she design these outfits herself during a late-night insomnia-fueled crafting binge?
July 2008
The misses are so much harder to stomach when she turns out something this great, and you see all the potential.
July 2008
Way, way too short, and also, brown tights just make you look like you took a romantic swim in Wonkatown with Augustus Gloop.
September 2008
Bonkers. She's at a Marc Jacobs fashion show, so this is probably his fault, but still: JUST SAY NO.
September 2008
What is happening on her head?!?
October 2008
By now she was apparently working as a local car wash's holiday snow elf.
January 2009
This could have been cool, if it had an extra two or three inches on both ends. As it was, she totally nip-slipped in this. Also, can we study the difference between her and the woman behind her, who is in pants and a winter coat? And is covering her mouth with a scarf? Maybe she's just trying not to be recognized, or trying not to be sick.
January 2009
"I have confidence in confiiiiiidence alooooooone! Besides which, you see, I have Con. Fi. Dence. In. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
April 2009
She looks really tall and dreamy in this. Through the hair you can see a snazzy metallic necklace as well.
April 2009
Those pants do not speak any language I understand.
August 2009
Serving up twisted cat's cradle realness.
April 2010
Turn around and go back inside. Please.
July 2010
.... I have stared at this dress so long, trying to find the words, that my brain blocked it out entirely and now I'm just wondering why her hair is ACTUALLY straw-colored.
September 2010
AND THEN THESE LEGGINGS. The early 2000s were a tough, maligned time, but at least they never wrought THESE.
November 2010
The Gap from 1996 is praying, "Please don't drag us into this... PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT WHAT I MADE... please don't remind them..."
March 2012
Is it too on-the-nose to call this get up "dotty"? It is. But I'm going to do it anyway.
July 2012
Whatever this is, it's probably about to have its own show on Starz.
November 2012
I LOVE her Melbourne Cup hat, though. It's like an artistic rendering of steam coming off a hot cup of coffee.
April 2013
The Colonel Sanders jokes are just too easy.
April, 2013
WORDS.
July 2013
The outfit is fine, but what's with the David Bowie makeup? Mischa, listen up: YOUR FACE HAS NEVER BEEN THE PROBLEM. Don't mess with what's never failed you.