Before

A shout-out, once again, to the music supervisors. Just as "Sabotage" was the perfect choice for those two college kids in their VW van, so is C+C Music Factory's "Sweat" the perfect soundtrack to this fantastical flashback OJ has of days as a free man, which is all people worshiping him in the club and bringing him drinks and table service of OYSTERS (which seems like a terrible idea). When I was in high school, my dance class did a HIGHLY MISGUIDED routine to "Sweat," which involved pelvic thrusting, and which got our free-spirited dance teacher in trouble. I performed that routine in houndstooth-print bicycle shots. THE EARLY 90S, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.

Bagels

Speaking of the early 90s, EVERYONE'S ties are early 90s delicious. I have so many questions about where these were sourced. I imagine the costume designers just calling everyone they knew, asking "do you have any CRAZY late 80s ties? Send them to me. No, all of them." Additionally, it cracked me up when Shapiro was so proud of the bagels spread he got from Nate 'n' Al. (There is a bagel theme running vaguely through this recap. Just you wait). Everyone loves a good schmear!

Marcia Marcia Marcia

Marcia had a bad week, you guys -- although she finished strong by adding Chris Darden to the DA's team (in part to avoid having the prosecution team be composed wholly of white people, but also because Chris is smart, and knows Johnnie better than any of them, and also I think she subconsciously wants to make out with him). But she makes A LOT of errors, including totally ignoring advice the jury experts give her, which indicates that black women by and large like OJ, and believe him to be innocent. (A LOT of stuff I've heard about this case indicates that there's a school of thought which believes the DA's office was screwed from the get-go, because of jury selection, and that certainly seems to be one of the hypothesis of this series. I'm sure one of you will more experience with jury selection will have thoughts, and I invite you to please weigh in in the comments.) Johnnie also OWNS HER in a supposedly routine pre-trial hearing wherein she is trying to get DNA samples from the Juice. She wants 100, he offers 1. She ends up with FIVE. It was masterful.

Pep Talks

This scene was just great. The interview with Vance, to which I linked in the intro, gets specifically into the filming of this particular scene, and it's quite interesting. You can EASILY see why anyone would decide that Johnnie should be piloting this ship. (Or "being the running back...but there won't be a lot of passes. Maybe he's the coach," to quote OJ's attempt to demote Bob Shapiro. OJ is not good at metaphor. Also, did you see yesterday that apparently his big note on this series is that he thinks Cuba's head is too small to play him? Oh, Juice. It's....a lot more nuanced than that, dude.)

Lance Ito

At last! We meet Judge Lance Ito -- a fellow Bruin, like myself, and Johnnie Cochran, and Shapiro, and Marcia Clark, and Gil Garcetti; lots of UCLA grads on this case (OJ of course went to SC, as did Bobby Kardashian) -- and his wife. When she came into this scene and they kissed, I thought, "OMG IS LANCE ITO HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HIS BALIFF??" No. Allow me to bring you this tidbit from that unparalled source for truth, Wikipedia: "In 1981, [Ito] married Margaret Ann York, the first woman to attain the rank of Deputy Chief in the Los Angeles Police Department and that department's highest ranking woman officer when she retired in 2002. The two met while at an Eagle Rock murder scene." (Wiki notes that there is a SOURCE NEEDED for that meet-cute.) She pretends she doesn't know Mark Furhman so as not to screw up this super appointment for her hubby, and that seems like it's gonna come bite her in the ass, no?

The Courthouse

I swear to God, if they didn't take over a courtroom in the criminal courts building in downtown LA to film, this is the closest thing to it that I have EVER SEEN. ANYONE who's ever had jury duty there can back me up on this. Don't you just feel like you're stuck in voir dire right now?

F Lee and R Shap

What restaurant do we think this is supposed to be? My theory was Musso & Frank's, but I don't think I am right. (Remember how last week, I told you about my friend Victoria, with whom I went to La Scala? She and I were once having dinner at Musso & Frank's and guess who walked in? MARILYN MANSON, in full regalia, and Rose McGowan. It was a good celebrity sighting.)

ADDITIONALLY. I cannot BELIEVE Shapiro got F Lee Bailey to do this pro-bono. How is that even possible? How does that make any sense? OJ SIMPSON IS LOADED.

The Morally Corrupt Fayer Resnick

And now. On to the -- arguable -- highlight of this episode, Connie Britton as The Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick. Simply put, she is PERFECT. She is coked up and desperate and she's sold a book that needs to go to press in two weeks (THAT IS MAKING ME BREAK OUT INTO HIVES) and she's just spilling all the beans to the publisher and the ghostwriter and...it is exceptional. I've never seen an actress eat a baby carrot with such utterly coked up vigor. "“There’s no good time to find out your best friend has been murdered," she tells them, "but definitely not three days into cocaine treatment." I mean, that's probably true?

TMCFR Part II

She gives them so many other sordid details of her best friend's life. That OJ bought Nicole breast implants. That they were sex maniacs, and he used to hide in the bushes outside her bedroom window and watch her bang other guys. The aforementioned cocaine. Did I mention that she explained that she really didn't want this to be "exploitative"? What IS exploitative for you, Faye, if not a book rushed to the printer in TWO WEEKS all about the intimate details of your murdered friend's private life?!

TMCFR Part 3

"She loved to give a Brentwood hello. That's when you go into a man's bedroom when he's asleep and...you know. Go down on him." FYI, that's not a term in major circulation, Faye. AS FAR AS I KNOW. Maybe I'm just not spending enough time in Brentwood?

Will you ever watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills -- where the real Faye Resnick is a sort of tertiary character, who is currently embroiled in a bit of a topical drama because a new housewife was MENTIONED in this very book (because she was married to a friend of OJ's and knew Nicole) -- in the same way? Personally, I hope the Real Faye Resnick pays Connie Britton to stand in for her at the reunion.

The Goldmans

In other news, I am sorry to have to note that I think the dude who played Ron Goldman's father was WAY too hammy in his part. It's unfortunate, because I actually think it's totally admirable of the show to go into this part of events -- that Ron became such a secondary part of the story, despite the fact that he too was murdered in cold blood, simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, just because he had no personal celebrity connection. I cannot imagine how terrible that was for his family. This is an unspeakably awful, AWFUL thing to go through, without your child then becoming an afterthought. But this guy really turned it up to 11, and I think they would have been well served by having him go down to an 8. Physically, however, the resemblance is good.

Focus Groups

In which Marcia goes to a focus group and learns that everyone thinks she's a bitch, and they hate her hair -- Garcetti tells her to smile more, and she looks like she wants to deck him. Additionally, this is where Marcia learns of the racial divide over the question of OJ's innocence, which, as I mentioned, she seemingly doesn't take into consideration during jury selection, although her reasoning to Darden -- that their jurors are smart people and they have a good case -- is obviously totally legit. I still find it surprising that she didn't try to hedge her bets. The defense, the show implies, certainly did -- in fact, when the jury is settled, OJ turns to his lawyers and says, "If these people convict me, maybe I DID do it."

Jury selection is fascinating to me. There is an art to it, certainly. I was up for a capital murder trial a few years ago -- it was a Mexican drug lord who had fled the country and only recently been extradited. As a writer, I am always asked what I write during voir dire, and I tell the truth, of course: A celebrity fashion blog, novels, and freelance pop culture reporting for a variety of magazines. At the time, Heather and I were (briefly but weekly) working for Vanity Fair, and let me you, that the INSTANT I said the words "Vanity Fair," the DA basically tossed me out on my ass, which...I understand. (That said, I have served on a jury and I found it fascinating and important. I am happy to do my civic duty!)

TMCFR Part 4

One of my favorite things about this Faye Resnick plot was the scene later where everyone is reading the book, and Bobby Kardashian is like, "THIS isn't true! THIS isn't true! Okay, this is true." Also: let's talk about that amazing art behind Faye. (She cannot be happy about this story popping back up.) It feels like such a visual reference to Faye Resnick later posing for Playboy. Which..."My Best Friend Was Murdered; Check Out My Boobs" is hard to defend, really.

Marcia Marcia Marcia 2

It's worth noting that Marcia also wanted to put the death penalty on the table, and has to be shot down by Gil and Bill, who notes, "MARCIA. We can't even execute CHARLIE MANSON." I suspect Marcia is actually really bad at reading a room?

Oh, Chris!

I just want to sit across from Sterling K Brown and have him kindly raise his brows at me, like, all the time.

Chess Sets

CHESS SET! If there were a drinking game for this show, I'd tell you to drink every time we saw a chess set.

Elevator Awkwardness

Also every time John Travolta makes his petulant "smell the fart" face, which I love. I KNOW people think he's corny as hell in this part, but I think Shapiro might ALSO be a total weirdo, and...I don't know. I just love it. I feel like this wacky, mannered performance works because everyone else is so natural. I also suspect everyone else in this elevator -- as Shapiro is about to stomp downstairs and give a misguided press conference -- had to have the best time shooting each other their most pointed, "who's this guy? What's he gonna do?" looks.

Multi-Tasking

It saddens me that Vulture's fact-checker did not know whether or not Johnnie actually DID do impromptu pressers whilst having his shoes shined.

Next Week, On Oprah's Book Club

This seems like as good a place as any to note that Judge Ito and the Ito family lived on the route my Dad used to take to drive my little sister to school every morning, and sometimes they'd see him shuffle outside to get the paper. This is while the trial was happening. I'm sure his neighbors all had A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

Homework

Something about this is hilarious to me. "The Brentwood Hello....hmmm, interesting."

Vulture's fact-checking column also noted this week that Ito made a huge deal out of Faye's book, and really should have just treated it like the trash for cash that it was. Ito made a lot of errors on this case, it seems to me. I DO remember walking past a Walden Books or something -- remember those? -- around this time, and then ENTIRE front window was full of copies of this book. It was a best-seller, after all.

TMCFR Part FOREVER

Also, although he is not in this shot, I'd like to shout out to Larry King, who is playing himself. I just saw him the other day, walking down South Beverly on the way to the bagel shop he owns. (I told you there would be a call-back to the bagels.) I asked for more real-life newsmen, and I got them! Now, I want my John Beard!

F*CK!!!!!!

ALSO this week, Shapiro drops the eff bomb. F/X is really letting the curses fly. I love it -- they don't feel gratuitous; I'm SURE there was a lot of swearing on all sides in real life -- but I'm surprised. (On the other hand, cable DOES have more latitude. I will never forget turning on Comedy Central at like midnight once, YEARS ago, to find them running the South Park movie. UNEDITED. That movie is FILTHY.)

Courthouse Art

This shot is so beautifully composed. It's like a Renaissance painting.

Classy Rich Bedrooms

Another shot out to set and production design. EVERYTHING in this bedroom feels right for this couple -- who are packing to go to Hawaii (in the middle of pre-trial!?), while Mrs Shapiro worries that her husband's association with OJ is going to be bad for her social life. Look at all those throw pillows! Is it wrong if I kind of want to move into the Shapiros' house?

DEATH BY FAX

When Shapiro comes back and finds that all the OJ files have been removed from his office and taken to Johnnie's, whilst he was turning an even deeper shade of orange in Hawaii, it's not even the worst part of his re-entry into society. The WORST part is learning that he's been replaced...from the Daily News...VIA FAX. FAX!

Fug the Show: The People vs OJ Simpson recap, "100% Not Guilty"

Yet again, this show is great. I should really just create a macro for these recaps, noting how great it is. This week is basically focused on how Johnnie Cochran was (correctly) promoted to lead chair on OJ's legal team -- for a variety of reasons, including that he's way better at lawyering than anyone else. Seriously, in that amazing, riveting, scene where he's giving OJ a pep talk, I was like, "I want to hire you as my lawyer. And you're dead." (This is also the part where I once again note that my optometrist was [allegedly] Johnnie's dear friend -- he was the first person to see the brain tumor that killed him, in an eye exam -- and he swore to me that Johnnie told him OJ was guilty. HOWEVER, my optometrist is a lover of tales, and I suspect he was at least partially exaggerating. That said, is there anything more L.A. than that story? Maybe the time I found out that Paris Hilton was going to jail via a text on my bedazzled pink Razr flip phone while waiting for Denim Doctors to hem my True Religions, and I told everyone there and we all gasped and clutched at each other.) In many ways, I feel like this show is a Valentine to the immense skills and smarts and savvy of Johnnie Cochran. I also find the relationship between him and Chris Darden -- where Johnnie has been a mentor, and is now the opposition -- to be so nuanced and fascinating. Both because that's a naturally dramatic dynamic, but also because I think Sterling K. Brown, who plays Chris Darden is (as I've said before) so great in his part. His performance is so subtle, and he's bringing such great kindness to this role (as is the sublime Courtney B. Vance, I'd argue). I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't also note that he is bringing hotness as well. Also, in case you haven't seen it, Vulture talked to Vance about playing this role, and his interview is well worth your time. Also, as ever, their fact-checking piece is fascinating. Of additional note this week: CONNIE FREAKING BRITTON. Also, I think we got more side-eye in this episode than in any previous ones. EVERYONE was side-eyeing Shapiro, at all times. David Schwimmer has made the -- I think correct -- choice to play Bobby Kardashian as if he has GRAVE GRAVE doubts about EVERYTHING that's happening. And we learn that Marcia Clark has a whole bar's worth of booze in her desk, which seems fair. She has reasons to drink. Everyone hates her and thinks her hair is dumb! (I don't hate you, Marcia.) Let's discuss!