Natalie Portman in Dior

I kind of like this -- it's sort of like if a tennis dress had a baby with an old-timey nursing uniform, but not in a bad way -- but how boring is the styling? SNORE.

The 17th Shanghai International Film Festival Photo Call

I continue to snore.

Natalie Portman in Dior

And this is just flat-out unflattering. It screams, "DON'T LOOK AT MY LOWER HALF." If I hadn't just seen snaps of her going to the airport looking completely unsuspicious, I totally would have blown the Bugle of the Uterine Secret. I think the real secret, though, is how Dior keeps doing people so very wrong.

The Recent Fugs and Fabs of Natalie Portman

I was JUST wondering where Natalie Portman had gotten off to -- professionally, I mean. Literally, I know that she's living in Paris. What a terrible trial her life must be -- and here she pops up again. She's got four movies coming out over the next two years, so I suppose she'd also gotten off to, you know, work. Let's see if her Dior is doing right by her. (Spoiler: No.) [Photo: Fame/Flynet]