Tess Holliday in Julia Clancey

I think this whole look is regal. I LOVE her hair. I need to rethink my whole strategy. What is your curl product, Tess? Are those natural?

Heidi Klum in Maticevski

More of the boring same. She's Boobs Legsly for a new age. (If you're new here, Boobs Legsly is what we called Blake Lively back in her Gossip Girl days, when everything she wore showed both as much as possible.)

Gigi Hadid in Vivienne Westwood

This is fine, totally unmemorable, but at least not offensive to my senses like her sister's outfit was.

Kaia Gerber

This is... fine. I am unmoved.

Karolina Kurkova

Whereas I think this is foxy as hell on her.

Susan Lucci

GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM, SUSAN LUCCI. (Just kidding; never leave, ever.)

Ashlee Simpson in Galia Lahav

The bra top portion of this isn't my jam, but otherwise, Ashlee has been trying to turn it up lately -- she and her husband have a new reality show, I believe -- and her efforts are appreciated.

Shay Mitchell in Julien Macdonald

Shay rebounded from Pretty Little Lies into that show You for... Lifetime, is it? With Penn Badgley? I've heard it's great. This dress is sort of scanty but I think she also looks really super in it, so.

Tiffany Haddish

She loves a jumpsuit. This is one of her better ones, despite looking a little patchy, but she needs a purplish lipstick I think.

Christie Brinkley

Those boots are terrible, but her posing on the red carpet clutching one of the freebie splits of Champagne makes me laugh. You do your corny self, Christie.

Stella Maxwell

This is the dress version of a bridal suite.

Kelly Rowland

Kelly apparently was DEEPLY AGGRAVATED by the Nicki/Cardi incident, per... one of the gossip sites. I love the idea of Kelly Rowland trying to broker peace and then being like, "Screw this; I'm just going to get my free Champagne."

Leomie Anderson

This is cool. It's like she's being birthed at a really beautiful alien hatchery.

Winnie Harlow

Well, it's better than her naked dresses, but it doesn't feel worthy of how cool she is. There's got to be some middle ground.

Candice Huffine

Is lipstick out again? I don't need it to be bright, but half these people look terribly parched.

Dascha Polanco

Okay, she looks MOSTLY glorious in this. It's a great color and a SUPER dramatic cut; her third good outfit in a row. The only trouble is that it doesn't fit her chest, no matter how much it wants to try.

Constance Jablonski in Alexandre Vauthier

I don't usually like this line, but that's beautiful -- just really relaxed and good on her.

Karen Elson

I love that color on her -- you knew I was going to say that -- but the whole dress feels... askew. Shouldn't her boob be falling out a bit on that one side? Where IS it?

Nina Agdal

That is so cute. Three cheers for stripes.

Coco Rocha in Zac Posen

Sometimes I wonder if it's impossible to stand any OTHER way in one of these Posen gowns.

Dove Cameron

That's ALSO askew in the skirt. It's like someone ordered a Betsey Johnson Home Sparkle Kit and couldn't really figure out how to work it.

Paris Hilton

This felt like the correct note on which to end. The dress is quite lovely, and so of course she had to muck it up with the hair accessory. But even that isn't ruining the drama.

Tess Holliday's Caftan Leads the Good Batch of Bazaar Icons Outfits

It wasn't all searingly terrible.