Chloe Sevigny in Gucci

This is fine, if slightly melty-feeling. It's a bit of a loincloth dress situation -- I did see some pics where it looked like the wind played perilous games! -- but it's very on brand for Chloe and it's definitely better than whatever wacky Chanel she might have ended up with under other circumstances. Gucci feels like a good pairing for her. Also, of course, A+ jewels as usual.

Nicholas Hoult in Armani

Ding dong!

Barbara Palvin and Dylan Sprouse in Armani

Her dress feels like a slightly sheer faded tapestry but in a better way than that collection of words makes it seem. He looks very handsome. Mostly, I'm surprised to find myself delighted that they are still together! Good for these two youngsters with great hair!

Camila Mendes in Armani

This feels like a Very. Serious. Dress. and while she is a babe and I think she's mostly working it, I'm not quite sure she's got the gravitas for it -- and nor do I think she needs it! She's only 28!

Maude Apatow and Sydney Sweeney, both in Armani

Here are our legally elected representatives from Euphoria. Maude looks gorgeous; Sydney might look a little bit prom? They both look Very Serious as well; it IS true that Armani is not a very Whimsical Label. Of these two, I think Maude takes it. (I am middle-aged and I don't watch this show because it seems stressful; how much smoke is Maude getting from the Youths for being a Nepotism Baby?)

Chase Stokes in Armani

And here's our representative from Outer Banks! He is so handsome, I think he is actually making this work.

Claire van Kampen and Mark Rylance

Whoooooo, it's noted teen dream Mark Rylance! (Mark actually looks great and also as if he's on leave from The Crown, a show I cannot believe he hasn't been on.)

Neelam Gill in vintage Armani

Vintage Armani! She wears it very well.

Simone Ashley in Armani

Not vintage Armani, just regular Armani, but also worn very well.

Laura Haddock in Armani

This Armani might be making her look a little more vintage than she'd like.

Greta Farro in Armani

If the previous Armani was a bit mumsy, THIS Armani is swinging the pendulum in absolutely the opposite direction.

Bianca Brandolini D'Adda in Valentino

I would NOT have guessed that this is Valentino. It is, however, most certainly a LOT. It's like Sexy Gladiator Goes to a Funeral.

Amy Jackson in Armani

I'm kind of into this, but I AM perplexed by the fact that whatever is under that jacket seems to be a jumpsuit with a giant hole in the middle of it.

Madison Rian in Armani

Gorgeous.

'Jenny Walton in archival Prada

Archival Prada! That is a fun idea.

Emilia Schule

This might need half a hoik, but the pattern is so delicate and pretty.

Rose Bertram in Pinko

Sure, sure, sure! This one vaguely feels like she just forgot to wear it in Cannes.

Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu in Armani

I have recently recovered from Covid and spent much of my quarantine time watching Emily in Paris -- which is perfect when you need something with outfits to just wash over you -- and she's the greatest in it. Also she's so good in Call My Agent! She looks very great in this. She looks -- and this might sound weird, but you'll get me -- like she owns this.

Emma Chamberlain in vintage Roberto Cavalli

All I know is, not having to wear whatever Louis Vuitton sends her has made a world of difference. This is really good on her.

The Rest of the "Bones and All" Premiere Was CHOCKABLOCK With Celebs (MANY in Armani)

Chloe Sevigny! Sydney Sweeney! Camila Mendes! Emma Chamberlain! Marc Rylance and his hat!