Rita Ora in Alexandre Vauthier

A stretchy pink satin wrap dress is the stuff of my fashion nightmares. This is for if the Barbie movie becomes a Hangover sequel.

Isabela Moner in Sophie Theallet

Congratulations on being the lead Thneed in The Lorax: The Ballet.

Lucy Hale in Fausto Puglisi

This is the really lush, ornate-sofa version of what Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman. (I actually think Lucy looks great in it.)

Pepi Sonuga

Pepi is in Famous In Love, and she's good on it. That whole show would be better without Bella Thorne on it -- and that's actually not a judgment on her; it's that her character is HORRIBLY BORING and yet the world revolves around her. Kind of like Dawson Leery, except he actually did stuff. ANYHOO, I think Pepi looks kind of perfect for a newly minted teen star at this particular awards show, and I hope the butterflies light up.

Katherine McNamara

She's ALSO on Freeform, in Shadowhunters. There's nothing overtly wrong with this, but I have already forgotten it happened.

Georgie Flores

Georgie (Famous In Love) capped this bizarre dress with what looks like ... some kind of bra-imitation made of gold chains?

Niki Koss

She is Freeform's resident Sophia Bush, aka, gravelly voiced vixen who HATES a goody-two-shoes. Then again, Brooke Davis turned into one; hopefully Niki's character will not, although she appears to be turning into a patio chair as we speak.

Aisha Dee

Aisha is on The Bold Type, so basically, this whole night was Freeform on Wheels. She is very charismatic -- that whole central trio is good -- and she looks adorable.

Paris Jackson in Zimmermann

It's SPELLED "Zimmermann" but it's pronounced "Lanz of Salzburg."

Perrey Reeves

Perrey is here because teens are evidently choosing Famous In Love, on which she gets to bang hot younger dudes and boss people around. All of which is evidently very good for her abs.

Lori Loughlin

So much glitter lotion was harmed in the making of this photo.

Katherine Langford in Prada

I don't like how this cuts her into thirds, but otherwise, I'm on board. I want to unfug it so that there's no horizontal band on her groin.

Melissa Benoist

She looks quite good in this, although the slits are a bit Extra.

Louis Tomlinson

I guess it's only fair that formal sweatpants should be coming in for women, as dudes have been attempting it since time immemorial. 

Fifth Harmony

So... I mean, obviously they MEANT for two of them to wear capes, and two of them to wear white pants-based outfits, right? Could they have meant for them to wear BETTER ones?

Kyle Harris

I cannot get over the weird optical illusion those shoes are creating on his feet. They make things look so lumpy.

Ne-Yo

LOVE the kicks.

Janel Parrish

This looks better on her than it should, given that it's basically the dress equivalent of a spa treatment.

Charlie DePew

He is gleefully nerdy. That's a compliment, by the way.

Carter Jenkins

His name is Rainier on Famous In Love, and so all I can think of when I see him is Rainier "McBain" Wolfcastle from The Simpsons.

Ryan Destiny, Brittany O'Grady and Jude Demorest

These ladies are on Star. And huddling together cannot hide that none of these is quite right. Ryan's looks like an actual coat she threw on because she spilled Fanta on her real dress. Brittany's has that wackadoo belt smacking us in the noses. And Jude.... well, if it looks off to you, then behold your correct instincts:

Jude Demorest

SPANX ARE NOT PANTS.

Chris Pratt

"Do I still get to keep this if you're all mad about my divorce?"

The Rest of the Teen Choice Awards

Featuring about 75 percent of the Freeform network, and Rita Ora, who may want to consider applying for a job there because why the hell not. [Photos: Getty, WENN]