Amanda Holden

This is Amanda, of the old "Ashley and Amanda Walk Around London" posts during Covid, and she looks like the scratching post for a cat who HATES ribbons. Also, respectfully, if she is actually that tan, she should probably dial the setting back from "antique coffee table."

Tulisa Contostavlos

She is a former X-Factor judge and reality star and such. This dress is apparently made up of headlines written about her in 2013, when she was falsely implicated in a drug sting.

I mean, she WENT THERE. I kind of LOVE IT. (Not that it happened; just that this dress came out of it.)

Will Njobvu

If Billy Porter were also a genie.

Cat Deeley

Lovely. Don't worry, they won't all be. In fact...

Jasmine Muller

Somewhere, a fortune teller is VERY angry about her shop's missing curtain.

Tasha Ghouri

"I want to look like the open maw of Jaws, but sparkly, like if he got a nice grill."

Lucinda Strafford

Oh, I just realized this is Love Island Lucinda (in the States, she somehow WON Love Island Games). She's been on four versions of the show. I fear this is unraveling as quickly as her partnerships did.

Hattie Dynevor

The Internet says this is, indeed, Phoebe Dynevor's sister. She looks very nice. Ergo, she must not have a matching LV contract.

Paloma Faith

That yellow tag says PETROL. Branding, or a strange reminder to fill up her car?

Flo Wilson

Now THIS is fun.

Dr. Zoe Williams

Two in a row!

Jasmine Mitchell

Aw, it's Jasmine from Bake-Off! And she doesn't NAB! She could maybe add MORE bracelets, but that's okay.

Maisie Adam

OKAY. I recognize her from clips of the 2025 Taskmaster season, which keep being fed to me on social media. Look at Instagram, trying to prove it's useful. However, Maisie might've wanted to choose an easier task on this night than Constant Crotch Covering.

Ella Bruccoleri

And hello to the adorable Mary Bennet, whose light punk boots and finger guns would surely give her mother the vapors.

Teri Hatcher

Teri is taking over as Miranda Priestley on the West End, so I guess she popped by this event for... community? Sure! She looks tremendous.

Shona McGarty

She's on EastEnders, and apparently Albert Square does not sufficiently scratch her transparency itch. From the Beeb to the boob, then.

Dearbhaile McKinney

I had to follow that up with something very lovely. Gotta keep up the whiplash.

Michelle Ryan

Speaking of EastEnders, it seems she came back a year ago and then just got killed off. Remember when she was in The Bionic Woman over here, in the aughts? I guess she couldn't bring the bionic back to the Queen Vic with her. Maybe this dress is teasing that she'll return as a witch.

AJ Odudu

And obviously, I was always going to love this. I'm uncomplicated.

Bradley Riches

Hmm. They MIGHT make a salve for that.

Alison Hammond

Always delightful.

Kéllé Bryan

And I love this color. I actually think we're in pretty good hands the rest of the way here.

Georgia Harrison

There is a version of this dress that would make a GREAT figure skating costume.

Charlotte Church

WOW, this is a throwback! I haven't thought of her in a long time. I would not have predicted snake tattoos.

Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu

Oh, Ekin-Su, I hoped we could count on you for a cockamamie ending. I suppose it's my fault for not re-ordering the slides.

The UK's National Television Awards Gave Us A Fug Buffet

My favorite kind.