Maria Borges, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Maria Borges walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This is one of those looks where I find myself thinking, "if that tiny crop top were a dress, it would be so cute." (This is also where I note that I love Maria.) As a reminder, if you want to enlarge any of these photos, just click on the pic (or tap on it, in mobile). Also! If you hate scrolling to read this comment, you can always hit the "i" icon on the left and pop the caption up and down. /housekeeping.
Bella Hadid, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Bella Hadid walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Bella -- here dressed, I believe, as a freezing cold Vegas showgirl -- is NOT great at runway, with all due. She looks TERRIFIED 85% of the time. (Gigi, on the other hand, worked it -- as you will see soon enough.)
Kendall Jenner, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Kendall Jenner walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
In case you're in the market for a neckbrace that looks like a doll corset.
Bella Hadid, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Bella Hadid walks the runway as The Weeknd performs during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Nothing more satisfying than getting to strut past your ex-boyfriend in...well, maybe this isn't the IDEAL lingerie scenario, but close enough. She looks spectacularly unimpressed with The Weeknd here.
Jourdana Phillips, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Jourdana Phillips walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This might be my favorite shot of the entire show.
Georgia Fowler, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Georgia Fowler walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Somewhere, someone is thinking, "I KNOW I can figure out a way to wear this as a dress. THINK, Lindsay. THINK."
Cindy Bruna, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Cindy Bruna walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This is obviously not wearable as undergarments -- well, the kickers are -- but it's entertaining. I feel like the Victoria's Secret fashion show, at the very least, deserves points for never, ever phoning it in.
Taylor Hill, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Taylor Hill walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This is tremendously subtle.
Irina Shayk, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Irina Shayk walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Yes, Irina is pregnant (I assume the father is Bradley Cooper, as they were -- and are? I pay NO ATTENTION to Bradley's romances -- dating.) Thus, her low key Maternity Pregnancy Shawl.
Liu Wen, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Liu Wen walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Ah, yes -- it's that time in this show when the brand is like, "SHOOT we need actual lingerie. Think of something!!"
Leomie Anderson, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Leomie Anderson walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Leomie is adorable, and this just makes me chuckle. It's like, when you want a snazzy hip-length rain slicker but ALSO want to make sure everyone can see your new bra.
Jasmine Tookes, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Jasmine Tookes walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Obviously, very few of these are practical, but this IS quite beautiful.
Kate Grigorieva, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Kate Grigorieva walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
I cannot tell you the number of times I've stood in front of the mirror in my undies and said, "what this bra and panty set needs is a coordinating CAPE."
Sanne Vloet, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Sanne Vloet walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
That's actually a sincerely cute rain jacket, is the thing.
Irina Shayk, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Irina Shayk walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Ditto her Low Key Lingerie Trench.
Jasmine Tookes, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Jasmine Tookes walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This is the segment of the show I like to call, "be careful how you move in that thing, you could poke someone's eye out."
Devon Windsor, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Devon Windsor walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Alternately known as, "SHIT, what do you mean this isn't Miss Universe?!"
Maria Borges , Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Maria Borges walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
I just spent twenty minutes trying to figure out how she got this on. VERY CAREFULLY.
Elsa Hosk, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Elsa Hosk walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Yes, but how are you supposed to get your shirt on over this, Victoria's Secret? HAVE YOU THOUGHT THIS THROUGH?
Gigi Hadid, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Gigi Hadid walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Gigi does NOT lack for accessories here. It's kind of amusing to me that all these women are wearing totally run-of-the-mill push-up bras here. (I mean, that IS what they're selling.)
Joan Smalls, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Joan Smalls walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
You know, sometimes when you put your thigh-high boots on, you're just TOO TIRED to wear anything else but a robe.
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: A model walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
I actually think maybe we DID stumble into a Parade of Bra-Clad Nations; this, clearly, is Germany. Maybe. Switzerland? Something with Alps.
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: A model walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Don't give Lady Gaga over there any ideas.
Martha Hunt, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Martha Hunt walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
"This seems overdone," I mused to myself silently before realizing that this is a show that has women wearing oversized wings and diamond-encrusted brassieres.
Adriana Lima, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
52244834 Models walk the runway as The Weekend, Lady Gaga, and Bruno Mars performs during the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show at Grand Palais on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. Models walk the runway as The Weekend, Lady Gaga, and Bruno Mars performs during the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show at Grand Palais on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. Pictured: Adriana Lima FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: USA ONLY
This feels vaguely like the VS designers have small children and ended up riding It's A Small World like 100 times last summer.
Alessandra Ambrosio, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
52244845 Models walk the runway as The Weekend, Lady Gaga, and Bruno Mars performs during the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show at Grand Palais on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. Models walk the runway as The Weekend, Lady Gaga, and Bruno Mars performs during the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show at Grand Palais on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. Pictured: Alessandra Ambrosio FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: USA ONLY
Those wings were windchimes in a previous life.
Izabel Goulart, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Izabel Goulart walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Comparatively, this almost feels banal.
Kelly Gale, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30:Kelly Gale walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Nearly casual!
Lily Donaldson, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Lily Donaldson walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
You could wear this for a Target run!
Brooke Perry, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Brooke Perry walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This seems....overworked. And also possibly likely to accidentally catch on fire if you wear it into Yankee Candle one day.
Dilone, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Dilone walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Dilone is in costume as the Victoria's Secret Associate They Made Move The Entire Stuffed Animal Display Three Times In One Morning.
Zuri Tibby, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Zuri Tibby walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
I just want to note that I think "Zuri Tibby" is a wonderful name.
Bridget Malcom, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Bridget Malcom walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This is incredibly normal IF you believe in people wearing jackets whilst also tying jackets around their waists.
Alanna Arrington, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Alanna Arrington walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Is that...a loincloth? Sure, fine, whatever.
Harieth Paul, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Harieth Paul walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Sweatshirt shrugs AND sheer chaps! TOGETHER AT LAST!
Maggie Lane Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Maggie Lane walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
"I AM A GIFT!"
ourdana Phillips, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Jourdana Phillips walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Here's your brief detour into the 80s.
Lily Donaldson, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Lily Donaldson walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This looks sincerely uncomfortable.
Adriana Lima, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Adriana Lima walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This is like the lingerie interpretation of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
Kendall Jenner, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Kendall Jenner walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Somewhere, Kylie Jenner is pouting.
Stella Maxwell, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Stella Maxwell walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
I actually wore this to the office today. AWKWARD.
Ming Xi, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Ming Xi walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Just in case your thigh-high boots need a gentle lace overlay!
Sara Sampaio, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Sara Sampaio walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Do you think the waxing professionals of Paris are just EXHAUSTED right now?
Sui He, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Sui He walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Someone could and probably will wear this top with jeans.
Joan Smalls, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Joan Smalls walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
This photo makes me laugh. Her body language is like, "This is what I'm giving you, and you are going to take it and I don't care if you like it."
Gigi Hadid, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Gigi Hadid walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
I have to admit, I kind of get the Gigi thing. She looks amazing in this, as bonkers as it is.
Lais Ribeiro, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Lais Ribeiro walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
"Fine. I guess I'll wear this. Whatever."
Sara Sampaio, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Sara Sampaio walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
I sincerely like these wings, which look like smoke. They're neat.
Taylor Hill, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Taylor Hill walks the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Tyra would be proud of the amount of wind created here.
Alessandra Ambrosio, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Paris, 2016
PARIS, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 30: Alessandra Ambrosio walks the runway during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on November 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
