I don't believe the show opened with this, but I had to. This cracks me up. It's like....the fashion show version of the parachute that emerges from a race car after a race.

This at least DOES look like fashion.

And the Mary Katrantzou stuff is really fresh and fun; VS partnered with Balmain last year, but this feels more fashion-forward.

Those are legit cute undies.

I've always appreciated Victoria's Secret for having their models smile.

This is literally a dress. It is not lingerie.

This is the bit where we all acknowledge that these are cute jammies.

The shoes are ALSO cute.

Yes, that Shawn Mendes floating there in the background. There is nothing funnier than photos of a fashion show where models are stomping past someone singing. No one's faces match.

See what I mean?

Here he is, properly. He looks totally reasonable.

I kinda hope someone wears these trousers for real.

Just so you know, I might not have a comment for everything. How often can I say, "look, it's a bathing suit!"

This looks like it might glow in the dark. In a good way.

This whole section was well-done. It was, at least, compelling.

Welcome to the, "shit, that's right! We have to sell actual undies to people!" section of the show.

Also the "I've really been into those Dior/Joe Boxer mash-ups" section.

In case you're wondering if there are any new celeb-child models, this is Josie Canseco. She's Jose Canseco's child. I predict...lesser things for her than for the Hadids.

Is it wrong of me to actually really want these leggings?

This model forgot to smile and instead did the more usual Runway Somber Stare. Or maybe she just hates that sweater.

Does anyone ever need a puffer jumper?

Rita Ora

And, yes, here's Rita Ora. She looks cute! There's something a little bit Madonna happening here in a way that's fun. 

FYI, Victoria's Secret is ALL IN on tartan right now. I guess it is the 20th anniversary of Britney's  "...Baby, One More Time." What better way to celebrate?

I appreciate that Behati Prinsloo appears to be pointing at someone in the audience here.

Hey, Kendall.

Hey, Gigi.

There's A LOT happening here.

It's like someone over at VS offices fell into a VERY deep Outlander wormhole.

Halsey

Yes, those are angel wings...on Halsey's eyebrows.

Adriana Lima retired from doing Victoria's Secret this year, hence her very emotional expression -- I think she's getting a standing ovation here. I'm sure it is a very bittersweet moment for her. This gig really made her career (and probably a LOT of money for her).

These angel wings feel a little droopy.

Some of these feel like the Wing Maker realized they forgot to finish a whole section of the show and just glued some feathers wherever and decided to pretend it was on purpose.

Hey, Bella.

This is the $1.5m Victoria's Secret Fantasy Bra. It does not look that flashy?!

Then shit got goth.

This is VERY intense reboot of Goodnight Moon!

All of this makes me want to get a spray tan.

Usually this show at least has...a cohesive look. This particular look is just a mess. It's like someone grabbed a bunch of junk they had backstage and made her wear it out on the runway.

I obviously want this robe.

We're back to the "Oh RIGHT, let's try to sell some of our actual product" part of the show.

This is not how skirts work.

This is closer to how skirts work.

Are these just...sleeves and a neck bow?

Bebe Rexha

And then Bebe Rexha showed up.

Victoria's Secret Had Its Big Fashion Show Last Night

I'll be honest, these are very impractical undergarments.