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Hailee Steinfeld

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 20: Actress Hailee Steinfeld at BALMAIN celebrates first Los Angeles boutique opening and Beats by Dre collaboration on July 20, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Donato Sardella/Getty Images for BLAMAIN)

Let us begin with the worst, aka Hailee Steinfeld in a "dress" and "shoes" that are wallpapering her so thoroughly that she looks like she's trying to pass as a wall in a baroque brothel's dining room.

Kim Kardashian

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 20: Kim Kardashian at BALMAIN celebrates first Los Angeles boutique opening and Beats by Dre collaboration on July 20, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Donato Sardella/Getty Images for BLAMAIN)

Weirdly I feel like we've already seen this. Which we haven't, but... I mean, we totally have, at least in spirit. We've seen Kim in a sports bra and we've seen Kim in a skirt that is AT LEAST this one's kindred spirit, so... I mean, is this Kim's equivalent of throwing on any old thing that makes her feel good? Are these her sweatpants? I am also obsessed with whether she's spray-countouring her abs.

Kerry Washington

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 20: Actress Kerry Washington at BALMAIN celebrates first Los Angeles boutique opening and Beats by Dre collaboration on July 20, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for BALMAIN)

This photo is majestic. It's like she just rounded a corner, noticed the cameras, and is thinking, "That's weird. I didn't invite any of these people to Chest Pearls Night."

Monica

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 20: Singer Monica at BALMAIN celebrates first Los Angeles boutique opening and Beats by Dre collaboration on July 20, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Donato Sardella/Getty Images for BLAMAIN)

Monica looks great with this hair. Monica should, however, rethink wearing a bib over a mesh sports bra and detached sleeves -- not a piece of advice you'd ever think needed to be said.

Halsey

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 20: Singer Halsey at BALMAIN celebrates first Los Angeles boutique opening and Beats by Dre collaboration on July 20, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for BALMAIN)

I am concerned her minidress just ate an Iron Maiden shirt.

This Balmain Party Was Predictably Hideous
I mean, why pull punches?

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