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# Unfug or Fab: Jessica Alba
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/unfug-or-fab-jessica-alba-2-08-2014/
- Published: 2014-08-14T20:00:04.000Z
- Updated: 2014-08-14T06:41:05.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: Unfug It Up, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-07 07:39

At first I thought I was going to like this a lot. And if we're talking strictly about her hair, it's fab, and making mine wilt with unfulfilled purpose.

[![Jessica Alba](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/jessica-alba-spl820620_001.xml "Jessica Alba")](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2014/08/jessica-alba-spl820620%5F001.jpg?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)

But then I got this proper look at the outfit, and that bustier might as well be made out of old shoulder pads. And then I decided the shoes with the giant safety pin aren't my thing (although at least they're WHIMSICAL, which yesterday's Mary Janes on Steroids were not). I like the clutch, but it looks discordant here, and I LOVE the blazer, but the proportions seem wonkus. I want to liberate it and the skirt and try again. Even a simple tank top would suffice -- maybe a white one with some funky necklaces, to go with the blazer and jeans, or with the skirt on its own. Basically, a lot of this needs a new context. I keep thinking of Martin Short in Father of the Bride saying, "*I love it*. We'll change it all." WWFD, y'all: What would Franck do?

OH BUT WAIT: At the last minute, I found a second bustier that she wore later this day:

[![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/jessica-alba-spl820811_005.xml "Jessica Alba")](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2014/08/jessica-alba-spl820811%5F005.jpg?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)

I am REALLY not a fan of lingerie with high-waisted bottoms. But also, those particular high-waisted bottoms might need to burn in the white-hot flames on the side of my face, ignited by how unflattering they are. Why, Jessica? Why? Do you just get BORED of having a perfect body? Because, I mean, I'd be HAPPY to unburden you of some of that EXCRUCIATING fitness.

\[Photo: Splash\]