Ryan Bradley Short Program
When I first saw this picture -- before watching the actual routine -- I thought Ryan here was dressed as one of CHiPs, and this was a salute to Erik Estrada. Which would have been AWESOME. However: obviously, he's a Man in Uniform and skated to a variety of sassy 40s music, a la "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," which is just as charming and not quite as Village People. (I really heart him.)
Ryan Bradley Free Skate
This program is a scream -- it's basically a spoof of the classic Classical programs, and as a lifelong connoisseur of sarcasm, I am extremely impressed that he has the ability to SKATE sarcastically. Also: what else would you wear for that program? I'd maybe add a powered wig next time? Although that might pop off during his Quad.
Jeremy Abbott Short Progam
I..don't get this at all. It's like Evil Two-Face Robot Elvis Head? How do you even find music for that?
Jeremy Abbott Free Skate
One of my favorite things about Jeremy is how he dresses in Real Person Outfits more often than not in which to skate -- in this one, he almost looks like he's dressed as the old footage of Dick Button they haul out occasionally, where Dick is skating outside (at the Olympics) and super casually doing toe loops in totally normal looking day wear and occasionally a coat. One of my least favorite things about Jeremy is how he sometimes falls apart in the long program.
Richard Dornbush Short Program
I didn't see this either -- NBC didn't think Dornbush would place (he wasn't even in the final flight for the long program, and started in 7th, but eventually placed 2nd!) and therefore didn't think to air his short program before getting into the free skate. It's terribly annoying, as I'm dying to know why his shirt is open to the navel. I pray this is a routine about The Bee Gees. Please let it be about the Bee Gees.
Richard Dornbush Free Skate
This is a Sherlock Holmes routine and I have to say: this is exactly what you wear when you're skating as Sherlock Holmes.
Ross Miner Free Skate
Ross here skated (very well) to "Casablanca," for which...this look seems appropriate, as one can not skate very comfortably wearing a trench coat with a cigarette in your mouth. (Or, I guess, in costume as a Nazi, if you want to tackle the other side of that particular story, which would be...A BAD IDEA.) Although I PERSONALLY would love to see someone try. SMOKING ON ICE WITH ROSS MINER. I'd pay to see that. (Don't take up smoking, Ross. You need your lung capacity.)
Keegan Messing Free Skate
This routine is apparently about the Incredible Hulk. No, it actually is. That wasn't a sarcastic comment. Ergo, this outfit seems totally apropos, although I am sad he never ripped the top off. Also, poor Keegan didn't place, but I had to show it to you anyway. HULK SMASH SKATES.
Madison Chock, Greg Zuerlein Short Dance
ICE DANCING! Madison and Greg look like they skated off the side of a vase and are on their way to meet Ryan Bradley's Free Skate character. (Which...is very ice-dancer-y).
Madison Chock, Greg Zuerlein Free Dance
But their free dance is less 19th Century Dandy and more....creepy Eastern German cabaret puppets. Which I guess is appropriate, since they were skating to "Cabaret."
Maia Shibutani, Alex Shibutani Short Dance
Maia and Alex are brother and sister and they are very, very cute. I basically want to take them both out for ice cream. He can even wear the vest.
Maia Shibutani, Alex Shibutani Free Dance
See? Aren't they cute? I actually think these costumes are quite graceful. Maia's dress, in particular, is very beautiful. There's something to be said for the longer lengths on the ice dancing ladies, as compared to the ladies' shorter dresses -- they're very graceful in movement.
Madison Hubbell, Keiffer Hubbell Free Dance
Speaking of sibling skating teams, I just wanted to make sure you didn't miss Ice Skating Traditional Awkward Brother Sister Straddling Moment.
Meryl Davis, Charlie White Short Dance
Sigh. I love Meryl and Charlie. If they were fictional characters, I would be 'shipping them. I would also like to congratulate Meryl for perhaps being the most pale person in skating and for resisting the urge to bronzer it up. So she looks like she might actually be made of porcelain -- WORK IT.
Meryl Davis, Charlie White Free Dance
This is their winning dance -- a tango -- which was basically totally gorgeous, and her dress is quite beautiful. They're going to put up a good fight at Worlds...where SO MANY FEATHERS await them -- and us. See you then!