Venus Williams

Venus had a knee injury that forced her to withdraw from an event a week or so ago, so I wonder if those are some kind of compression legging designed to help keep everything... locked in. I don't really know. The bright pink was so nice. I LOVE YOU VENUS.

But isn't this also so cute?!? That little ribbon strap is so good.

Coco Gauff

I REALLY hope Coco didn't have to pour too much of herself into that tough first-round match -- she had to dig DEEP to win it in three, plus she felt the umpire wasn't regulating time violations well enough (her opponent seemed to be taking too much time between points on Coco's serve, and the server apparently gets to dictate the pace). I'm thrilled she made it and I hope she can settle in now. I also need her to go deep so that her coach Brad Gilbert is too busy to be in the booth. I cannot with that man. AND FINALLY I love her shoes.

Caroline Wozniacki

Woz is back! And she won! And in a romper catsuit!

The balls look so silly up in there. Not that they're so smooth under a tennis skirt, either, but somehow this just looks extra entertaining. Like a Smurfy boil.

Victoria Azarenka

I actually can't tell if this is a onesie, or separates where the top is firmly tucked into the bottoms. Either way, it's a variation on the theme, and one I wonder if we'll see more often.

Ons Jabeur

Ons had a ROUGH GO, with breathing trouble in the humidity and a 7-5, 7-6 score line. I hope she can rebound. I want it to be hers, and I'm into her shirt.

Frances Tiafoe

This looks like a fancy, blank greeting card you'd see at Papyrus.

I thought his sneakers said BIG FOE, but I can't see it -- I do see a label with his name on it, though. And he does have a BIG FOE necklace. I hope he does prove to be a big foe.

Bonus arms!!!

Wang Xiyu

This is the muted version. With a peek of mustard shorts. Madison Keys wore it also.

Tatjana Maria

And then a LESS muted versino.

Holger Rune

"I took a chance. I wore the fuchsia. And I LOST. I'm so alone."

Stan Wawrinka

This looks like a Monet-themed kaleidoscope.

Yoshihito Nishioka

His opponent wore a similar version.

Yuriko Lily Miyazaki

The dress is NICE. I love it.

Casper Ruud

And yes, there's a tee edition of that colorway, too.

Katie Boulter

I can't decide how I feel about the skirts that are cut to reveal the shorts underneath. Would that get too... fluttery?

Sloane Stephens

I don't like this as much as some of her jewel tones from earlier in the year, particularly mixing the peach and pink. She isn't going to get to show us what else she had packed, sadly.

Ben Shelton

"THIS BARBIE WON BIG!!!!"

Petra Kvitova

This feels like C-list offerings from Nike -- not that Petra is C-list, but that they're not giving her their best. That shirt looks like it was inspired by a bad cocktail dress.

Yafan Wang

This one is ALSO really weird. The crotch flap is bizarre.

Djokovic

That's right, Novak. PLAY WITH FEAR. (He didn't. He won. Quickly.)

Arthur Cazaux

Not my favorite colors, but I guess it's Lacoste, and they feel appropriate to a crocodile.

John Isner

American John Isner, famously of the longest match in tennis history (at Wimbledon, the final set went 70-68, because it was before they implemented final-set tiebreaks... which I wish they never had, because CHAOS), is retiring after the Open. I can't say I will miss his game that much, but he seemed like a really solid dude. It IS amusing to me that he's playing in a shirt that looks like the flag of Finland.

Andy Murray

Steady and unexciting. Just the way Andy likes it.

Maria Sakkari

Ugh, poor Sakkari is having a HARD time right now. She crashed out again, and was talking about maybe needing a sports psychologist. At least she did it in fun stripes?

Wang Xinyu

This is like... the complicated version of that outfit.

Daria Kasatkina

And this is the REALLY complicated version. All those different skirt lengths.

Stefanos Tsitsipas

And I guess there's a dark colorway as well. I love this photo. He looks like a bogeyman pretending to sneak into the kids' room to scare them.

Dominic Thiem

He went with just the wristband.

J.J. Wolf

I just have SO many questions about why he styles himself like a killer on True Detective.

Laura Siegemund

Laura was Coco Gauff's opponent, and her dress had some GREAT side stripes...

Laura Siegemund

... and a fully hot pink back. I'm IN. She also had a talk with the chair ump, and at one point had a point docked because of her slow playing speed. Juicy night.

Zhang Zhizhen

Ooh, this is nifty.

But, that is not how one wants tennis to go.

Kamilla Rakhimova

This seems to be the white/tank version of what Ons Jabeur has.

Belinda Bencic

This kit is getting a lot of play, too, on men and women. It's not bad! There's a lot going on, but I don't hate looking at it.

Christopher Eubanks

Et voila, in slightly different blues.

Iga Swiatek

"What the hell, I'll just hit it and see what happens."

"I FLEW!"

Pedro Cachin

This is like a tribute to camo.

Taylor Fritz

"I am not here to be interesting."

Soonwoo Kwon

Simple and effective. He deserves a coordinated hat.

Patricia Maria Tig

She's dressed as the color bars, when the TV stations shut down for the night. Alcaraz's opponent Koepfer wore a version of this too, and frankly, I deeply enjoyed it.

Petra Martic

Get her a matching skirt, you cowards!!!!! Just kidding. It's fine.

Andrey Rublev

"THIS man would not wear red shoes with this blue and orange outfit. So why must I? WHY????"

James Duckworth

This is giving Upscale Charlie Brown.

Leylah Fernandez

Leylah! You're breaking my heart with these early exists. You'll get back, though, I believe in you. This is cute enough but looks almost more like she's a cheerleader.

Peyton Stearns

That makes it look like her right boob needed extra restraints.

Arantxa Rus

YES. I feel like a lot of '80s hair bands approve tremendously.

Sara Bareilles

Sara DEFINITELY approves.

Michelle Obama

Michelle looked cute from a distance BUT up close the top of that dress didn't seem to fit very well -- it didn't lie against her at all. DON'T HATE ME. It's like 90 percent there!

Lindsey Vonn

That's her boyfriend next to her, and HE sure seems cute.

Paula Badosa

Paula there is a highly ranked tennis player in her own right, and is dating Stefanos Tsitsipas (she withdrew with an injury). And I did not know she is Christine Taylor's doppelganger?!?

Hilarrible and Alec Baldwin

Alec, just BUY YOUR CHILD A TICKET. You have the money!

Finally, while the stripes on the ball staff are cheery, the giant Polo logo CHAFES. SIT DOWN RALPH.

Venus in Pink, Djoker in Blue, and the Rest of the U.S. Open Outfits

Well, in Round 1, anyway.