VMAs: Black Outfits

Rita Ora in Vera Wang

Rita was there to present, so you KNOW she's not just wearing a simple drape.

Rita Ora

Really, Vera Wang? You're doing potholder sleeves now?

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/Shutterstock (12441543iv) Rita Ora 2021 MTV VMAs, Barclays Center Brooklyn, New York City, USA - 12 Sep 2021

One of the many reasons I would do badly as a celebrity: The idea of having custom-fitted mouth jewelry seems EXHAUSTING and kind of uncomfortable?

Bella Poarch

Color me MILDLY surprised that Rita could not muster THIS much drama.

Debby Ryan

These boots with the loops in the front are making me NUTS. I don't do well with change. I DO enjoy Debby's modern take on Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally hair, but I can't tell if it's actually the hair that's growing out of her head. Not that it matters, I'm just curious. She was tricky to recognize.

Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi's gonna Cyndi.

The Kid Laroi

I keep calling him Kid Laroi. But no. It's The Kid Laroi. He's the "THE Ohio State University" of musical acts. And although he appears to be wearing a sleep mask, he has some surprisingly catchy songs.

Travis Scott

This all seems very reserved.

Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian (in Olivier Theyskens)

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock (12439060cu) Travis Barker ad Kourtney Kardashian MTV Video Music Awards, Arrivals, New York, USA - 12 Sep 2021

I like that leather on her. His spikes seem... terrifying. There is something very charming and unexpected about how deeply INTO each other these two seem to be. I saw some nonsense about Scott Disick freaking out on Instagram about them to one of Kourtney's exes, and I decided they're going to get married and Scott is going to HATE IT and he seems like an awful person so that will be entertaining.

Billie Eilish

At a tender age, she has already reached the enviable "I only want to make this much effort and they will just deal with it" phase of attending major events.

Troye Sivan in Fendi

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock (12439060dv) Troye Sivan MTV Video Music Awards, Arrivals, New York, USA - 12 Sep 2021

Shrug.

Sofia Boutella

I don't even remember if we saw her on the telecast. I assume she must have been promoting something? She looks fine.

David Lee Roth

He was there presenting the last award, and he was cuckoo as usual. (When you get to the end of a show at which Lil Nas X is wearing a big custom Versace, and you realize Lil Nas X has not yet won anything, you will think, "Oh, then he must know he's getting this last one, then," and you will be right.)

Yung Baby Tate

This looks like her boobs have eyes. Or a Praying Mantis face or something.

Ashnikko

Is this made of demonic worms? I think it is.