Rita Ora

Those ALL look like Barbie costume jewelry.

Rita Ora

This is the kind of dress that feels made EXPLICITLY and ONLY so that some six-foot glamazon can stomp it down a dramatically lit runway as it blows behind her in a wind of her own creation. And when you take it out of that setting and plonk it onto the red carpet, it looks like a giant popped balloon that someone stuck together with gum.

Rita Ora at the VMAs

Perhaps to its own detriment, as it also basically created a motion hazard. So she's impeded both leg movement AND finger function. At least her head still works?

Rita Ora at the VMAs

Those seams are all puckering, and somehow those tiny strings are extremely perfunctory, as if what's really holding this thing up is the fact that her nipples poked through it a bit. I don't know. I'm just... I think people have done floaty and ethereal so much better, and this adds nothing to that conversation except sad trombones.

Rita Ora at the VMAs

Nothing about this particularly flattered her, although I'm sure it was light as a feather to wear...

VMAs Fug Carpet: Rita Ora in Donna Karan

I don't know how else to say it, so I'll be blunt: You have WAY too much crap on your hands, child. Fingers are important. Don't impede their function. LET YOUR PHALANGES DANCE. [Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, AKM-GSI]