Normani in Patrycja Pagas

I look at this and think, "Perhaps people should require a license to use a stapler."

Megan Fox in Mugler

Is she really "in" Mugler here? Is she really "in" much of anything? Listen. We all thought Zendaya looked great at Venice in the wet look, but where Zendaya goes, mortals should fear to tread. And you, Megan Fox, are no Zendaya. (She is not even doing this as well as Kim Kardashian did, and that was ALSO Mugler, but at the Met so they put a lot more time into it.) I don't know. I really liked Megan on "New Girl" and think she is more interesting than Refried Hot Mermaid.

Winnie Harlow in LaQuan Smith

A wool coat is not a shirt.

And yes, they're not even really Daisy Dukes. They are underpants.

Doja Cat in Vivienne Westwood

I like her eye makeup. But this is another one that looks like her skirt got jacked up when she was trying to use the bathroom and no one told her.

Somehow it's even worse from the side.

Ashanti in Michael Costello

Oh, the places she'll chafe! I assume, also, that this requires a catheter.

Well, maybe not, maybe wrangling can be done. But who wants to have THAT conversation with their stylist? (Also is this the first Michael Costello someone has worn since he had that public drama with Chrissy Teigen?)

Charli XCX

Her Elvira costume has been rotting in an attic and now it's mostly cobwebs. She was, sadly, undaunted.

Confidence in one's clothing requires so much more f'ing WORK these days.

Ciara in Tom Ford

I thought this was going to be Julien Macdonald, which is... not great for Tom Ford.

Madonna

Do we think this means she's coming to the Met Gala? I guess she lives in New York, so possibly not, but all she did for this was march out and say, "We're back, motherfuckers," and then turn around and work that wedgie walk all the way back inside. I just... Jess says a bit more about this later today, but I do wish Madonna had figured out the groovy evolution of her brand. This feels so stale for someone who was once so revolutionary.

She looks pained. Me too, Madge. Me too. Although it's possible this is just her default expression now.

Kacey Musgraves's Hat is a True VMAs Legend

Plus more things big and bright from the big, bright night.