Vogues 1910-1940

1906

"Desmond! Desmond, I can practically SMELL the sauvignon. Quick, come step on the vines."

1911

If the hat on her head is any indication, she should return the boxes immediately.

1912

Do we think Margaret Atwood saw this cover and then had a fever dream?

1913

As if this person actually carries her own hat boxes.

1914

"Positively EVERYONE is wearing seaweed and jellyfish membrane, Sylvia. Trust me."

1915

Some of the covers look like this -- words, and small cavorting person with a liveried servant. Snore.

1915

"A CACTUS! How positively exotic! I'll take three."

1916

The cactus needles cut her so deeply that Marge wore mounds of fabric for the rest of her days.

1916

In which Vogue presumably accidentally becomes an allegory for how women are puppeteered by the fashion industry and the magazines that sustain it.

1917

"Dear Diary: Marie Kondo simply doesn't understand that I am a VERY JOYFUL PERSON."

1917

"Four-foot sternums are the must-have accessory for fall."

1918

"I wonder," she thought, "when the opium will kick in. Perhaps this dancing licorice flower will tell me."

1919

"My one-woman Antigone is the only thing you need this autumn."

1919

"They say she has no nerve endings in her head," whispered Hazel. "You can put ANYTHING in that hat and she won't feel a thing."

1920

"Wait, wait, I'm getting something... yes, it's your dead Aunt Matilda, wondering why her bracelet is being used as a collar."

1921

"You simply MUST get stretched this season, Agnes. I daren't stand up straight around the menfolk but my doctor says if I do I'll be a staggering seven-foot-two."

1922

"Yes, I did build a throne out of a bed and forty-three throw pillows AND YOU SHOULD TOO."

1922

"Listen, Percy, I'm tired of your shit. No, really, your cage is an absolute nightmare."

1923

"Come ON, magic rose! Turn me into an armoire! IT'S ALL I WANT!"

1923

This feels so claustrophobic.

1924

Tilda was regretting having invented sleeves that would double as poop-scoop storage units.

1924

Welcome to Hay Fever: A Love Story, this fall on Broadway.

1925

"Oh, er, hello, yes, I was just... lost... my heavens, what do you MEAN 'where is the Picasso'?"

1926

This cover is kind of amazing.

1926

"Nonsense, Leopold, my eyesight is dandy. I'm simply... counting pages to ensure they're all here."

1927

By god, she could feel it in her bones that TODAY was the day she rode right into a fox hunting murder mystery she would solve to great acclaim.

1927

She had eyes in the back of her head, in the form of two whole other heads.

1928

"Fine. I'll bring the murder to the fox hunt MYSELF."

1928

"And I said, 'Essie, don't, prison is SO tedious,' but she didn't listen, and here we are, selling her penthouse."

1928

They made motorcars so much SMALLER in Paris.

1929

What the hell even is this?

1929

"There's no place like Paris. There's no place like Paris," she repeated, but it didn't work: Her origami Eiffel Tower never transported her to the real one.

A year later, she was but a shell of herself, haunting Opera House basements and whinging about music.

1930

"How AM I supposed to clean these windows?" she wondered.

1930

"I TOLD you white washes me out."

1931

It's early Katniss Everdeen.

1931

Asphyxiation by scarf was a trend?

1932

"Now THIS is a magazine I can really see myself in."

1932

The demons always came when she was least prepared.

1933

Thankfully, this NRA is NOT the NRA that I personally revile today; it stands for National Recovery Administration. I have never been able to take a comprehensive American History class so I totally missed this.