1981 - Kelly Emberg
That is a great, fierce cover photo, but "a fat food expert gets thinner" is THE WORST.
1982: Nastassja Kinski
We are at a real low Vogue ebb here. I did laugh at "croissant crazy" because I feel like the Vogue of today would NEVER advocate carbs.
1983: Nastassja Kinski
See, Nastassja agrees with me. (I LOVE how, if you flip from one to the next, it's like she's actively shocked by something.) It's two July covers in a row for her, but three in a row for the word "terrific." She does not look upbeat, either.
1984: Kim Alexis
The mandate must have been, "Widen your eyes. WIDER." Kim looks good, though. And shoes are enjoying their FOURTH July cover in a row. It was all about shoes in July, I guess.
1985: Isabella Rossellini
WIDER, ISABELLA. WIDER.
1986: Estelle Lefebure
But what of the shoes, Vogue? WHAT OF THE SHOES? (I do kind of like this though.)
1987: Paulina Porizkova
This is deliciously '80s and also pretty effective. I guess the fall signals were telling us all to go to jazzercise.
1988
The bubonic plague, but make it FASHION.
1989: Tatjana Patitz
I wish they had gone with TARTANS instead of sequins. This cover needs a jolt.
1990: Cindy Crawford
"Love With A Referee" would be a great romance novella.
1991: Karen Mulder
I don't love the outfit, but I do like the attitude.
1992: Karen Mulder
She's great at the hair toss, it seems. I do wish they'd put the Olympic women on the cover.
1993: Claudia Schiffer
That has to be the worst hair I've ever seen on Claudia.
1994: Cindy Crawford
I assume a face lift for the fainthearted is... holding your face up with your hands?
1995: Kate Moss
I've never been a huge Kate Moss person, but this is admittedly pretty cute. And not at all surly, which Vogue likes to be.
1996: Amber Valletta
I misread that as "Abortion and The Gap," which would have been a very very different story.
1997: Kiara Kabukuru
There is surely nothing so niche as a story in Vogue about the 25 best cutters and colorists, because surely most of them were in New York or L.A.
1998: Claire Danes
However, Vogue REALLY does think we need to fight our way into prestige salons. Honestly? Kevin does my color just fine.
1999: Gisele
That cover line about "return of the SEXY model" is... I suspect a lot of popular models were like, "The HELL? Up yours."
2000: Cate Blanchett
Cate looks great in that grieving Kleenex of a shirt. I hope "Broadway's Big Babe" called Anna Wintour and screamed in her ear for an hour about that headline.
2001: Catherine Zeta-Jones
I... no. I would not wear my house.
2002: Amber Valletta
"Jude Law: actor, heartthrob, ideal husband" did not age very well.
2003: Demi Moore
This is pretty, but antiseptically so? Demi Moore has more of a spark than this.
2004: Kirsten Dunst
I don't know if Kirsten really reinvented Hollywood glamour, but she WAS pretty instrumental in Rodarte getting its wacky toehold. Maybe she less reinvented it than... kind of twisted it.
2005: Kate Winslet
So pretty. So pensive.
2006: Kate Hudson
Seriously, people should ask Vogue NOT to say you're an ideal spouse or that your marriage is Teflon. It's like the Madden NFL curse but with magazines. (This is a good pic of Kate, though. It is, as my grandmother would have said, darling.)
2007: Natalia Vodianova
SUPERMANNY.
2008: Kidman
Pretty dress, but I don't know why she's hanging off a lighting rig while drinking in the smells of the desert.
2009: Sienna Miller
Again... it's a so-so dress and kind of a boring cover. Her ponytail has more sass and you can barely see it.
2010: Marion Cotillard
She looks zoned out.
2011: Emma Watson
THAT is dramatic and great. She reminds me of a Robert Palmer video.
2012: Emma Stone
Whereas THIS Emma got styled as if she just woke up and caught her lover putting his wedding ring back on.
2013: Katy Perry
That is a ghastly picture of her. She looks wan, like this is her first trip outside after two years of a fever.
2014: Lupita
And she also looks a little sleepy, as if she was fighting to keep her eyes open against bright sunlight.
2015: Cara Delevingne
Did Vogue manage to stumble on Cara's only awkward angle?
2016: Amy Schumer
That cover looks like Amy Schumer parodying a Vogue cover, and that quote feels less like something Amy Schumer would say earnestly than something Amy Schumer would say as a joke because it's poking fun at boilerplate Vogue fluff jobs. But I don't think either WAS actually parody?
2017: Zendaya
She is just... great. Softness and strength in one shot.
2018: Gisele
It takes some doing to drown out a supermodel in your shot, but wow, this cover really did it.
2019: Margot Robbie
And this is just a ghastly overuse of a wind machine. HOW was this the choice?!? Why would you do this to her? It's an outtake, not a cover.