Brad and Angelina at the Maleficent Premiere

Her leather (?) Versace reminds me of the Emma Stone Lanvin dress from the Paris Spider-Man premiere (although I think I liked Emma's better). I cannot with Brad's apparently ever-expanding collection of weird sunglasses. He's like ACTIVELY attempting to disprove my theory that everyone looks hotter in sunglasses. YOU'RE THE EXCEPTION PROVING THE RULE, PITT.

Brad and Angelina at the Maleficent Premiere

We can plonk this right into that post of People Gazing At Each Other that I keep threatening you with.

Brad and Angelina at the Maleficent Premiere

"Hey there, pretty lady. Let me buy you a White Russian and then we can slow dance over there in front of the pool table, whadda ya say?"

Angelina at the Maleficent Premiere

I kind of wish this skirt would COMMIT: either be a poofy skirt, or do not be a poofy skirt. A skirt is no place for half-measures.

Angelina at the Maleficent Premiere

Although I actually think it's great from the front, and I am INTO those stabby jabby bracelets. She IS wearing a bracelet AND they're weapons. I ENJOY.

Angelina at the Maleficent Premiere

I also enjoy that all the little girls at this event have come dressed as the VILLAIN, rather than as the sleeping beauty. I'm sure Aurora is really nice, but you know Maleficent gets shit DONE.

Well Played, Angelina Jolie in Versace (But What Is Going On With Brad?!)

Well, if Elle Fanning is in full Princess Aurora costume, so has Angelina worn her best Maleficent, including jewelry that can double as weaponry.* (She DID leave the horned cape at home, which is a shame.) She and Brad also appear to be having the BEST TIME, even if he is turning into the lounge lizard at your chain-smoking aunt's local, who she swears used to be really, really handsome. *Which she might have needed, because GUESS WHO randomly punched Brad on the red carpet? That Random Jerkweed who stuck his head up America Ferrera's dress. SERIOUSLY, how on earth is he getting this close to the red carpet without being escorted from the premises? ESCORT THE JERKWEED OUT. [Photos: Getty]