"The Beaver" Photocall
I mean, on one hand, I guess you have to hand it to her for being a loyal friend. On the other, if my good friend started sounding like a homophobic, racist, misogynist anti-Semite, I would take him to make sure he didn't have a brain tumor, not to Cannes. Especially not to Cannes for a movie where I made him walk around talking to a beaver puppet. And then if he DIDN'T have a brain tumor, I would probably cut off contact. I know Maverick was fun, you guys, but COME ON. In other news, I don't care for how this dress looks like it's part crop-top.
"The Beaver" Premiere
She looks great. He's all, "hey! It's THAT GUY! That one guy who was in a coma for the last ten years and didn't hear about how I am totally crazy and doesn't understand why everyone is all, AWKWARD with me because of how it turns out I have some ISSUES. I LOVE THAT GUY!"
"Melancholia" Premiere
"Maybe making this movie about a dude with a talking beaver puppet wasn't a great career move. Remember when I was awesome? Hey, I was even awesome in that movie with Denzel where I was a hard-ass lady with a spray tan and he was...being Denzel. I forgot what that movie was even really about. Whatever. Also: satin kills."
"The Beaver" Photocall
A) This is attractive and age-appropriate. B) I like her hair. C) Jodie, what's happened to you in the last ten years? MEL GIBSON REALLY A MOVIE CALLED THE BEAVER REALLY REALLY? REALLY?
The Hollywood Reporter honors Jodie Foster
YES. A MUCH better escort. MUCH.
"The Beaver"
I mean. Fine. Okay, fine. This is fine. This is fine for what to wear on the press junket where you know people are like, "Jodie, don't you have some CONCERNS about MEL, you know, like IN GENERAL?" the ENTIRE TIME. At least you can answer those questions without worrying that your boob is going to pop out.
Premiere Of Walt Disney Pictures' "Pirates Of The Caribbean: Seriously, Johnny Did Another One."
THIS looks more like Jodie Foster, though -- the Jodie Foster of my imagination, who is cool and casual and has a really great modern house with a lap pool (don't ask me why she has this in my imagination, she just does) and who doesn't suffer fools gladly. I kind of wish she'd use those Chucks to kick Mel in the ass.