Michael Phelps

I really sincerely love Phelps. He has done amazing things, and I am really excited that I got to witness him make history, even just on TV. We Americans are very proud of him. And one of the things I will miss most is how insanely low he wears his swim trunks.

Phelps

As well as his shoulders and arms.

Michael Phelps

And also his entire torso.

Ryan Lochte

As far as the other one goes, let's all just remember THIS kind of cuteness and forget how he keeps wearing that blinged out grille, shall we? It is decided. Let's just focus on how he is hot like fire. Focus, Fug Nation. Focus. I am on record as not being a huge Lochte fan (you know, comparatively: I'm still going to root for him) but you can't deny that he is mad crazy cute.

Conor Dwyer; Ryan Lochte; Ricky Berens

Now, this display is just distracting. So very distracting. I feel like Conor Dwyer over there is just saying, "SWIM, MICHAEL. SWIM FOR AMERICA AND FOR ABS!" Which is kind of what I was yelling when I was watching this 4 x 200m Freestyle Relay. (I was also thinking, "wearing a black Speedo under your white trunk is a weird aesthetic choice, Conor." But I'm not mad at him. How could I be mad at that?) And Ricky Berens can come over to my house and stand at the edge of the pool shirtless and cheer me on ANY time, also. In case you were wondering. I don't yet have a pool but I think I should start working on that.

France's Camille Lacourt

I just keep imagining Camille Lacourt doing this over and over again. In slow mo. In a cologne ad. He is....extremely handsome.

Takuro Fujii, Takeshi Matsuda, Kosuke Kitajima, and Ryosuke Irie of Japan

"THREE CHEERS FOR THE REMARKABLE ABS OF JAPAN!"

Ian Thorpe

"I remember when everyone was talking about MY abs," the Thorpedo thought wistfully.

Florent Manaudou

But I am not just shallowly focused on abs. No, no. In addition to great abs, Florent Manaudou of France ALSO has great dimples.

Cullen Jones

But the Americans are not without dimples! Cullen Jones LIKEWISE brings a powerful dimple game (in addition to, you know, the rest of him. Which is excellent.).

Cesar Cielo and Cullen Jones

I like to think that, as well as racing one another in the 50, Cesar and Cullen have a wicked, long-standing thumb war going.

Chad Le Clos

"I can't believe I just beat Michael Phelps by a hair and I am this cute," South African Chad Le Clos is thinking. Also: I don't know if you watched Phelps talking to Costas on Saturday night, but apparently he and Le Clos have decided to go swimming with the sharks together in South Africa, which is awesome. Phelps might be retired, but I hope someone tells Chad, at least, that he needs to make sure he comes out of that dive with all his limbs. His hot, hot limbs.

Troy Dumais and Kristian Ipsen

Apparently the divers aren't bad either. Also, being able to manipulate your body into this kind of trick is AMAZING. I can't even dive from the side of the pool.

Tom Daley and Peter Waterfield

UPSIDE DOWN ABS. Also: oh my God. I didn't even know some of those muscles existed.

Tom Daley

ALSO: SERIOUSLY, DIVERS. You are NAKED. I am beginning to think the only reason the male divers AREN'T diving totally naked is because their junk needs to be protected from flopping all over the place and THAT'S LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON. Clearly, modesty has no consideration.

This is not a complaint.

Jose Antonio Guerra and Jeinkler Aguirre of Cuba

I just thought this photo was awesome.

James Magnussen of Australia

HELLO AUSTRALIAN FRIEND.

Christian Sprenger, James Magnussen, Matt Targett, and Hayden Stoeckel

In fact, all of Australia's relay team is dreamy. If shamefully over-dressed in this particular shot.

Cameron van der Burgh of South Africa

On the other hand, I have no complaints about this at all.

Clement Lefert, Fabien Gilot and Amaury Leveaux of France

Bonjour also to our French friends. We appreciate your physiques. (We're coming for your relay team in four years, but that's what makes it fun, right?)

Nathan Adrian

Nathan Adrian's unabashedly delighted reaction to winning the 100 meter freestyle could not have been more charming and adorable. Too bad he's so HIDEOUS, right??

Nathan Adrian

And by "hideous," obviously I mean, "SO CUTE." Why are swimmers so cute? WHY, INTERNET? And he graduated from Cal with honors, so: cute and smart. I have decided he needs to marry one of you.

Matt Grevers

In addition to abs you could grate cheese on, Matt Grevers is also like nine feet tall and proposed to his fiance on the medal stand at a meet. I approve.

Phelps and Adrian

PHELPS: Nate, how are my biceps?

ADRIAN: Fantastic. How are my shoulders?

PHELPS: Tremendous.

Thank You, London

I couldn't say it better myself.

Well Played, Olympian Abs

As the Olympics of The Pool have largely closed, and we've moved on to the Olympics of the Track, it seems like a good time to quietly reflect upon all we've learned about swimming over the last several days. Things like: we can't imagine how weird it's going to be to have a Summer Olympics without Michael Phelps, who was so awesome and relaxed in all his interviews this week, and who seemed to be absorbing the experience in a way that was really touching; the Olympics truly are about bringing the best athletes of the world together in (mostly) friendly yet fierce competition and that is one of the reasons I love them; we admire NBC commentator Rowdy Gaines for his unfailing ability to be deeply and LOUDLY thrilled by the end of every race and we hope he acts like this at home when his wife, say, remembers to buy the Doritos he requested; and HOLY ABS PLEASE DON'T EVER PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON, MALE SWIMMERS/DIVERS OF THE WORLD. Because while we might not all be cheering for the same country, we can all appreciate hot Olympians. Happy Monday, Fug Nation. [Photos: Getty]