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Renee Zellweger

I do love a coat. I have no business living in Los Angeles. I mean, we do get coat weather here occasionally, but nowhere near enough to justify the number of coats I either own or want desperately to buy. Obviously I need to become a jetsetter.

Renee Zellweger

Also, it's nice to see Renee's eyes open. Usually she's squintier than Chad Michael Murray, which is what makes watching Jerry Maguire or Bridget Jones' Diary so hard, because she's got relatively open eyes in those movies. Hopefully she didn't Botox her face into being unable to squint, because that's a bit much, but in general it's nice to be reminded she has eyes at all.

Renee Zellweger

And then the coat came off, and... admittedly I can't see much of this dress, but what I can see vexes me.

Renee Zellweger

That bodice DOES Not FIT. AND it's nipply. And if she's so freezing cold that she's going all Nipsy O'Cardigan on us, then why is she wearing a tiny tiny skirt and a tiny tiny top I guess sometimes, shit happens, and you have to warm up however you can. Air conditioning can be a bear sometimes. Mostly, I'm just sad that her low-hanging bodice is being so cruel to her. Oh, Bodice. Are you in league with Jennifer Aniston?

Well Played, Renee Zellweger, Until Suddenly It Wasn't
So here is my question: How come the tabloids aren't giving Renee Zellweger the Tragic Dried-Up Spinster Whose Ovaries Are Going To Fall Out treatment, the way they do Jennifer Aniston? Please know I do not believe EITHER of them are tragic dried-up spinsters whose ovaries are going to fall out, but Jennifer Aniston can't bump into a guy at the supermarket without there being a story about her trying desperately to have a baby with him because she's so old and lonely and blah blah blah. Whereas Renee here is only two months younger than Jen, and yet the rise and fall of her relationships -- and she even has a more interesting one: the Sudden Chesney Marriage -- gets reported on in calm, normal tones. Is this because Renee Zellweger is secretly nicer than Jennifer Aniston? Or has nicer people? I don't know. Personally, i'd prefer it that NOBODY got the Tragic Dried-Up Spinster Suicidal Ovaries Yada-Yada treatment because it's gross. But I just noticed this in the wake of Renee's split with Bradley Cooper and can't help wondering about the vagaries of what the tabloids decide to cover. What does this have to do with her clothes? Well, Renee looks super cute in her red coat, which is always handy when you just broke up with somebody. I really love it on her. I thought maybe it was a trench-dress thingy, until I saw some fabric poking out the bottom. And so I decided to investigate, and... didn't really feel as warmly toward what I found.

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