Salma

Wow. Hideous. How does she even leave the house with that face, I ask you. Stick it in a bag, Salma. You're hurting all our feelings. .YOU SO PRETTY. ALSO EARRINGS. PRETTY. SO PRETTY..

Salma Hayek

I feel like this is a direct rejoiner to my recent complaints that ever since she married WhatsHisName -- Richie McFashionConglomerate -- she's looked weirdly terrible.

SALMA

I also wonder how much this dress weighs, given all the beading. It's a wardrobe AND a workout!

Tim Riggins

Hello, friend. I don't know what's growing on your face, but the rest of you can stay.

Well Played, Salma Hayek, plus Bonus Tim Riggins

Because it seems unfair to bring you so many people from the Savages premiere without tossing in some Riggins. (Tossing In Some Riggins is the name of my autobiography. That could happen, right? Should it be Tossin' in Some Riggins? Let's percolate.)