Beyonce in Lorraine Schwartz
This right here, this very shot of her head, is why I'm SO BUMMED OUT that I find her clothing choices to be so wonky. That is a stunning woman -- wearing amazing custom earrings, I might add; these plus Blue Ivy's halo are worth $3 million -- and I just wish she harnessed the force of this DNA better on the red carpet.
Chloe Sevigny
I love this clutch, to the surprise of no one. It's gold! It's sort of a chevron! It's like a tiny briefcase!
Margot Robbie
That fav coat is by Brock Collection, and apparently costs nearly $3k. I am so grateful for that, because if it had been anywhere NEAR my Impulse Buy threshold, I might have done it.
Lea Michele in Casadei
They may not be the right size, but they sure are pretty.
Abigail Spencer
These look a bit like she bought a sparkly sling to wear one a black pump. Which sounds SO MUCH like something a person would sell on QVC. A base black shoe, and then a condom to make it something new. And yet... I also like them.
The Sev in Gucci
These are the perfect amount of whimsy. I could not pull them off, but Chloe totally did.
Amy Schumer
At least these are fierce, even if the pants were TERRIBLE.
January Jones
Much like the previous outfit: bad pants, a great finish.
Bryce Dallas Howard
I like these because they're a fun color, and they are not sky-high and terrifying and platformed beyond all reason.
Heidi Klum
I do love a green bag.
Pixie Lott
See? What did I tell you?
Caterina Scorsone
This one's all about the shoes and clutch, which nicely accent the simpler black dress. It's always nice to add a little twinkle.
Diane Kruger
These look a bit user-unfriendly, but they are also just really freaking HOT strappy sandals.
Mandy Moore
If you suspect I couldn't resist a sparkly blue clutch, you are CORRECT.
Jessica Alba
This is by M2Malletier, and I feel like I've seen it before and/or complimented it before, but my brain is a sieve so ... here it is again, maybe. It's cute. I wonder how practical it is to carry, but it's zesty.
Johnathan Fernandez
I didn't know what part to highlight. The glasses? The bow tie? The belt? The floral oxfords? Together it is a LOT, but I have to bless him for putting a lot of thought into every last piece of quirk. This is not a thrown-together outfit. He took care.
Rita Ora
Rita Ora has done a lot of crazy things this summer, but that purse is not one of them.
Viola Davis
This was supposed to be about the bracelet, but that LIPSTICK, and her FACE, and also: This photo crop shows how nice this would have been if the dress had been cocktail length.
Rihanna
The best accessory of all.
Mariah Carey
Okay, it's a tie for best.
Chris Pine
Three-way tie? (Yes, the accessory to which I am referring is me being VERY crude but I blame him for wearing the pants in the first place.)
Steele Johnson and David Boudia
"O beautiful four spacious thighs..."
Sam Mikulak
"for amber waves of veins..."
Ashton Eaton
"For bicep mountains' majesty..."
Michael Phelps
"... above thy bruises INSANE."
(Cupping: just the DUMBEST? Discuss.)
Lashawn Merritt
America, America. Lashawn has shed his grace on thee.
Socks!
Woohoo! Ankle patriotism!
Erik Kynard
His socks are high and so are his jumps.
Inika McPherson
Those are just straight-up good. I might need those for my next plane trip. I bet they compress.
Mitch Larkin
Not only are his glasses totally adorable -- he is COMPLETELY the hot nerd in a stereotypical rom-com -- but his name sounds super dramatic. Mitch Larkin, Private Eye.
Gabriele Detti
So many fabulous... accessories... here.
These two
Total Cathy heart-eyes going on.
Gabby Douglas
Real talk: How HARD must this have been for her? She was the defending Olympic champion who came to Rio feeling like an afterthought, and having her place on the team called into question. She had to put her head down and do her job even though she knew nobody expected her to win AND people were maybe even waiting for her to fail to validate their opinion. She had no single facial expression or gesture go unscrutinized. And she didn't let any of that stop her from getting the job done. She came to Rio knowing she was third fiddle, if not fourth, on the team, and she smiled through it. That has to be bruising, and I don't think she got enough credit for swallowing her pride as much as she did.
Also: THE LIPSTICK.
The Final Five
Don't bite your accessories, everyone! They don't taste good!
The Womens' 4x400 m relay team
Natasha Hastings' lipstick is competing with their awesome muscles to be the star of this slideshow.
Mo Farah
I realized something during this Olympics that I had forgotten since 2012. And that is that I REALLY LOVE MO FARAH. And I feel this weird protectiveness over him. He's so lean and sinewy that while he's running he seems almost fragile, but for how clearly powerful and nimble and fast he is. When he got knocked over in the 10k, I shrieked. Whenever he finishes a race, coated in sweat, I want to hug him and wrap him up in blankets so he can drop comfortably to the ground.
Mo Farah
And this! How can you not love this.
Mo Farah
The Getty photogs, as ever, did a wonderful job.
Chaunte Lowe
Chaunte was expected to medal in the high jump, but couldn't clear the bar, and dropped from first to fourth and sealed the medal standings that way. The second it happened she allowed herself a second of disappointment, and then RAN over to the Spanish athlete who won and wrapped her in THE TIGHTEST and most elated hug. It was a totally sincere outpouring and I thought that was incredibly classy. She let herself have a bit of the feeling, but made sure it didn't get in the way of the joy and pride she felt in the winner's achievement. One of the reason I hate NBC's blasé coverage of the field events is, I think all those athletes have a real camaraderie because their sports are so specialized. in fact, my favorite thing about the heptathlon and the decathlon is that the ENTIRE gang, at the end, joins hands and bows together to the crowd. It's the most wonderful touch and I find it totally inspiring. Because they have all achieved something, even if there wasn't a medal at the end of it, and that bow really acknowledges that.
Also: LOOK AT THOSE ABS.
J.Lo
And then JLo showed up bearing baked goods. THE OLYMPICS ARE OVER. PIE FOR ALL.