Well Played: The Marvelous Muscles of the Rio Olympics Track and Field

Usain Bolt

There was no way I wasn't going to start with Usain Bolt. I find all these track and field athletes amazing -- I know this is a simplistic thing to say, but they are SO. FAST. -- but he is truly exceptional. (I also liked hearing all the stories from Tom Hammond and Ato Bolton about how generous he is with his time to reporters, and how he always stops his warm-ups to be respectful to other countries' medal ceremonies; it's nice when someone is really talented and also a good dude. I ALSO was amused when his mom went on the news and was essentially like, "blah blah fastest man alive, whatever. When is he going to get married?")

Usain Bolt

I am sure you've all seen this picture by now, but it is the best. It is just the perfect encapsulation of the joy a person feels when their body is doing exactly what they want it to do. You know the photographer (Cameron Spencer) saw this shot afterwards and thought, "I ALSO nailed this."

Andre De Grasse, Usain Bolt

The look of love on Andre's face is all of us. He's basically the Heart Eyes Emoji come to life. These two also spent the entire end of their semi-final for the 200m giggling with each other. It was really great.

The Men's 100 meter final

So many good arms. So many. If you like muscles -- and why are you reading this post if you don't like muscles??! -- you need to be watching track and field. Everyone looks...firm. So firm.

Usain Bolt wins the 200

I couldn't resist this photo; it's so good. Usain Bolt is one of those athletes that you would always be grateful to have seen in action, in person, I think, because you'd know it was historic. Like seeing Serena play a match. My Mom was at Dodger stadium to see Sandy Koufax pitch a perfect game, which is obviously an unforgettable experience. Usain Bolt is kind of the perfect game of sprinting.

Rusheen McDonald of Jamaica

In non-Bolt news, this is just impressive.

Rushwal Samaai of South Africa

HOW DO YOU DO THIS? It's AMAZING. Like, swimming, I understand. I am a decent swimmer for...you know, a regular old person. But I honestly could have downloaded two hundred photos of the long jump to marvel at it.

Greg Rutherford of Great Britain

I hope Greg arrives at every party EXACTLY like this.

Derek Drouin of Canada

Also, how do you THIS? I remember doing high jump in gym in middle school and it was FUN AS HELL but also...how do you...get your body up that high? Like...literally, how?

Mutaz Essa Barshim of Qatar

THIS IS AMAZING. (I could just write, "this is amazing" for literally every photo in this post, to be honest.)

LaShawn Merritt of the United States

It seems I might be in love with LaShawn Merritt. EVERY TIME he shows up on my TV screen, I involuntarily make a noise. He is SO. HOT.

LaShawn Merritt

INVOLUNTARY NOISE.

Erik Kynard of the United States

ALSO: These socks are exceptional. Team USA has entertaining taste in socks.

Wayde van Niekerk of South Africa and Kirani James of Grenada

Nothing is better than Olympian embraces between hot, muscular people.

David Rudisha of Kenya

David Rudisha is fast and handsome, and also the package NBC did about him teaching school children to run in Kenya made me cry.

Thiago Braz da Silva of Brazil

Here's to the home team!

Omar Mcleod of Jamaica

The Olympics have taught me that the world is full of hot people, and that a lot of them are from Jamaica.

Devon Allen of the United States

Devon didn't medal in the hurdles but he is still hot. (I also appreciated how every time Ato Bolden talked about calling Allen's football coach at the University of Oregon, he noted that HE HIMSELF went to UCLA. With me, in fact!)

Renaud Lavillenie of France

This is some body control.

Ashton Eaton of the United States

YOU GUYS. How did he do this? Is he for real levitating?

Ashton Eaton

Uh. WOW.

Ashton Eaton

This photo is like, "for AMERICA, and for BICEPS!"

Jeremy Taiwo of the United States

Speaking of biceps. HELLO.

Luiz Alberto de Araujo of Brazil

So, it turns out I am really into shot put now.

Ryan Crouser of the United States

This dude won gold in shot put AND set a new Olympic record! The shot putting dudes do a lot of YELLING in the process of their, er, putting. It felt satisfying. He also seemed like he was BARELY keeping from crying at the anthem, which made me cry.

Michelle Carter

Speaking of shot put: I realize that this post is supposed to be all about the hot dudes, but I have to sidebar to the ladies briefly and shout-out to the amazing Michelle Carter, who won the gold in women's shot put, and who is also a professional makeup artist. This profile of her in The New Yorker is great. As I said on Twitter, a woman who is a gold medal-winning shot-putter by day and a makeup artist by night is a woman I need to befriend.

Kristi Castlin, Brianna Rollins and Nia Ali

Sidebar continuing because I could not resist including this photo. It is SO WONDERFUL. These are our bronze, gold, and silver medalists (respectively) for the 100m hurdles, and they are awesome. This photo is so joyful. I feel like someone at USA Track and Field is putting this on every single brochure they have right now. This is what I love about the Olympics: I keep thinking of all the little girls who saw this moment and how many of them thought, "I want to DO THAT." And ten years from now, some of them will. (Some of them will end up writing about hot biceps, instead. We all do our part.)

Tyson Gay of the United States

I also appreciate that Tyson Gay doesn't shy from being well accessorized. (Speaking of accessories and whatnot, the women of the track and field really wore a lot of great red lipstick this past week, which I enjoyed. Obviously, no one needs to wear makeup to do anything, and certainly not to be an elite athlete. But if you want to rock an amazing red lip while you ALSO run EXTREMELY FAST, then why the hell not?)