Kendall Jenner

Kendall actually looks fairly normal here. I decided to ease us back into things. But they obviously got a deal on those belts...

Kourtney Kardashian

...because here's Kourtney, trying to make those hideous jeans happen even though we all gratefully left them back in 1989.

Kendall Jenner

This is both overwhelming, and making her look alarmingly like she's on a leash.

Kourtney Kardashian

This is not so much Xanadu as it is the off-brand soft-core knockoff, Xanadu Me.

Kim and Kanye

The thing is, I even kind of want to support a giant gold lame half-caftan. I do. But she is sucking all the campy fun out of it with the plastic shoes. And I don't even know WHAT Kanye is doing back there. He looks like he's borrowing Kylie's coat to go pick up some Funyuns and Tampax or something.

Kim and Kanye

There are a lot of unspeakable horrors in this photo, but worst is that I keep staring at her chest, wondering why it looks like her left nipple is a full 90 degrees west of where it should be. I mean.... that is a really disturbing illusion right there. KIMBERLY WHERE IS YOUR NIPPLE GOING.

Kim

Jesus cheezballs, child, is that... a labial strip? Or are they actually beige-lined lacy... PJ pants, that she's wearing with... I can't even 404 Internal Server Error.

Kourtney Kardashian

Yes, laugh it up, Kourtney. It's all any of us have left.

Kim & Kourtney Kardashian

Sometimes I think Kim looks at her wardrobe and thinks, "Dress like how Mariah Carey SHOULD be doing it."

Kim Kardashian

Kanye's all, "WHATEVER KIM I WORE IT BETTER."

Kim Kardashian

I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THIS. IT'S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE.

Kourtney Kardashian

... Man, Kourtney never met a buzz she didn't like to kill, eh?

What the Fug: The Jenndashians

Kim has been keeping a very low profile since the incident in Paris, which I think is good for her. Obviously I'm not saying the incident ITSELF was, but the fact that she can react to it the way many of us would -- burrowing in her house and taking a breather and just BEING for a little bit until she feels okay again -- is a reassuring statement on her ability to turn off the spotlight for a second. Because of the robbery, we accidentally missed some rather impressively Kardlike outfits from that trip, so I'm covering those here; otherwise, it's just been Kendall and Kourtney out and about lately, making perfunctory appearances to keep the paps afloat. Because if a week passes without a Jenndashian in the wild, did it really count? [Photos: Fame/Flynet]