Kim and Kourtney
Kim wore this to, among other things, a BlogHer event. It is TERRIBLE. Seriously, she talks nonstop about what her post-baby weight is, and I don't even CARE what it is; she should be super proud of how she looks. Instead, she turns herself into a white-satin sausage. Kourtney over there is no better. Those are terribly unflattering. You are all lovely women with enviable figures, and the fact that I've SEEN you get it right means that you are CAPABLE of it. Do your billion-dollar bods a better service.
Kourtney
From behind: STILL TOO TIGHT. Also, the snaps up and down the sides make her look like a bow-legged cowgirl.
Kourtney
Naturally, she opened up the sides, because I guess her legs are campers and those pants are the tent.
Khloe
And then she marches in wearing all black. I hope in the scene for their show, she was intended to stomp in like the Angel of Doom and lay down some sass.
Kendall Jenner
This is not so much a dress as a body mold in the making. I know basically everything now about the contours of her chest. Also, Kendall recently said she doesn't wear bras because she likes her boobs. I like mine, too, and that's why I DO wear one.
Kim
This outfit is so wrong. Do we think those boots might win Dumbest Shoes of all Eternity?
Kim
They appear to zip up the back, which means that putting them on isn't nearly as annoying as you might imagine. However, that shirt IS as annoying as you might imagine. I often wonder if she ever sits down and thinks to herself, "How will I explain this to North in a way that will promote her having self-respect?"
Kourtney
Jeans that are BARELY clinging to being jeans have really taken hold now.
Kendall Jenner
Of course that thing is Givenchy. Because Givenchy really needs to start designing clothes that look like Yeezy. What a wonderful move for that storied brand.
Also, Hailey Baldwin -- as in, Hailey Baldwin: Thirstier than a Desert Hiker -- over there is totally taking a page out of The Kardashian/Jenner Book Of Heavy Robes Over Summer Clothes Even When It's Hella Warm. You know she has a scrapbook under her bed.
Khloe
This photo of Khloe is going in there tonight.
Kim
Okay. Wearing high heels with bike shorts does not make them cease to be bike shorts. That is all.
Kim
She wore this to go shopping. And as we've joked many times, yes, it DOES indicate clearly that she NEEDS to go shopping to buy replacement clothes. But can you imagine anything more annoying than trying to wriggle in and out of this while trying on clothes? And why did she make a choker out of an old pair of jeans? That's not QUITE what people mean by high-low, Kimberly.
Kim
Just in case you wondered of those sockbootpumps were as annoying to wear as they are to behold.