Sophia Smith, USA

Sophia had two of our goals. It's always so exciting to see the changing of the guard, you know? I remember so well when Alex Morgan and then Megan Rapinoe rose up to join Abby Wambach as the names and faces of the team, and now Megan is retiring and who knows if Alex will play in another World Cup. Sophia is one of the new guard who'll take the torch next. SUNRISE, SUNSET...

Trinity Rodman

Also high on the list: Trinity "daughter of Dennis" Rodman, and I can totally see a resemblance. I don't know how they play with those nails, though -- the way they hurl their whole selves at the ball, especially in these setpiece scrums, would they not be dozens of tiny knives?!? Anyway, they're all fine and no flesh seems to be getting serially nicked that way, so obviously it's a false concern. I guess what I'm doing here is marveling at the skill it takes for ALL aspects of athletes' bodies not to break all the time.

okay, ironically, that IS Trinity on the ground there but she's fine. The speckled jerseys, not so much. I mean, I guess it's good they're not flecked with red. Also that one Vietnam player's jersey is VERY long.

Lindsey Horan

Lindsey scored our other goal. (I GASPED when Alex Morgan missed the penalty kick. Between her and Canada's Christie Sinclair and England's Georgia Stamway all missing, it was WILD, although Shamway nailed her unexpected second chance.) I really like these warmup shirts. I'm sure someone decided they're too loud for an actual game, but I'm much more into them than the dots.

Ana Borges, Portugal

I love this photo because it looks like the opposing player's shoe is censoring a rude word. Like a cleat bleep. Portugal's version of this shirt looks like confetti and I ALSO don't like it. And it DOES have red flecks. The better to camouflage a nosebleed?

The Netherlands

We get both Portugal and The Netherlands next in our group stage. I'm always glad to see the Orange -- it's very consistent. And the crest on their socks is nice.

Lieke Martens (L) of the Netherlands in action against Fatima Pinto (C) of Portugal

I just liked all the HAIR in this photo.

Ashley Lawrence, Canada

Love Canada's shirts -- THAT'S what I'm talking about. The maple leaf is always a good insignia. Canada did not play particularly well, though.

Nigerian players

I always like seeing Nigeria's bright green. And with the hit of yellow, this is refreshingly citrusy. It's like a Sprite. It's limon.

Lucy Bronze, England, and Dayana Pierre-Louis of Haiti

England didn't look great EITHER, but the Three Lions are always a lovely crest. I thought Haiti played much better than the 2-0 score line indicated.

Kathrine Kuhl (12 Denmark) and Lina Yang #13 of China

Everything here seems pretty standard. Nothing too creative. No ink blots.

Signe Bruun, Denmark

I ALSO really like this shirt. I think it's just a warm-up jersey, though, because we just saw the shirts they played in, and she isn't their goalie.

South Africa's Thembi Kgatlana

Sweden and South Africa likewise kept it very simple. I'm intrigued by Thembi playing in gloves. I don't know how often you see anyone other than a goalie wearing those on the pitch.

Angela Beard (13 Philippines)

Philippines looks fine, but okay, I do not know what Switzerland's is... doesn't that kind of look like an app?

Minami Moeka (3rd L) of Japan vies with Barbra Banda (2nd L) of Zambia

Oh man, Japan trounced Zambia 5-0. Japan is very, very good. And I like that they went with something more than just a solid color. But something less than spots.

Australia vs Ireland

My son Dylan votes for MORE ORANGE from Ireland. Australia's kit is reliably on-brand.

Cheyna Matthews, Jamaica

I thought she was on the French team for a second, but no, that's a warm-up shirt for Jamaica. Never would have guessed that! It looks Les Bleues through and through. I am charmed by the stripey socks, too, even though -- or perhaps because? -- they also remind me of a compression pair I once owned.

Grace Geyoro, France

Seriously, the warm-up shirts are WAY more fun. Merchandising!

Clara Mateo of France (centre) tackles Deneisha Blackwood of Jamaica

Here are their playing kits. They're fine! I am curious to see Jamaica's alternate uniforms, to see if those lean harder into the bright colors.

Herve Renard, head coach, France

If Les Bleues wins the whole thing, Nicolaj Coster-Waldau will play him in the movie.

This Dutch fan will be played by Willem Dafoe.

And, since Eileen Brennan is no longer with us, this person will be played by me.

It's the World Cup!

Let's talk kits and goals!